Hi there, etherealember.
I'm GeeLyria, and I'm here to review your poem.
Hm. I think you've generalized a little bit too much. If I am not wrong, you have shown you know the possibilities and the reasons why a father might have been "stolen"; it's either life, society, or their own selfishness. But, I also think you've analyzed them vaguely; as in you have all those situations, but then you just dropped them around in superficial way. And when you think about it, the poem is not about "Stolen Fathers" like the title says, it is about how necessary it is for a child to have a father in their life.
I feel like there's something missing about this poem, given that leaving your ideas floating on the air might provoke some annoyance to the readers (especially if they can relate to it). What I expected of this poem was for you to talk about each situation independently. For example, a father that takes no responsibility for his child because he's selfish does not show his kid "courage", "integrity", or "strength", and I think that should have been emphasized. After that is done, it would be great to finish it with the conclusion, which is that "we all need our daddies" (I beg to differ, though. Lol.) When you make those changes, this would definitely make much more sense.
Other than that, I like how the poem flows. And you general idea is not bad; I just think you need to work on developing it a little bit more. Know that you have the potential, but being organized can get you far.
Keep writing,
GeeLyria
Points: 1271
Reviews: 532
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