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Young Writers Society



A Test Day

by MatiasD




Today, I had a test on a book I hadn't read, To Kill a Mockin' bird. But seriously who makes kids read a book during the summer ? Yeah, I know, people tell me I had 2 months... But I did loads of things during the summer. I went outside... That 's about it, but still. And now it's Sunday, I hate Sunday it's the worth day with Tuesday. Well Sunday isn't all that bad, but at 6 P.M, it's the worth moment of the week because you can't do anything. You're stuck. And Tuesday, don't get me started on Tuesday. It's right after Monday and Monday, you think, oh it's gonna be all right it's only five days but then at the end of the week, you realize it's Tuesday. And then you cry for a bit.

So I went to school on Monday. It started fine with Art, and then I had Math. I like Math, you don't have to write so much. Ironic, hun? Because i'm writing this. Yeah but this is fine, because I don't have to think if the teacher is going to understand what i'm saying. And the worth part, the one thing that makes me furious is when they take half a point because you wrote “gonna” and not “going to”. It's how we talk ! Why can't we write how we speak, it makes sense. If our language is evolving then so should our writing, no ? Whatever. So then we had break, and then english, so the test. That break, it was like waiting to be called for a poem you haven't learned. You know it's coming but you don't know when or how it's going to go. So you make things worst, you give yourself hope. '' Oh maybe we won't have the test ''. I call that denial. I hate it, because at the end it all the false hopes fall on you. So I went in class I took the seat furthest at the back. So I could ask for some answers. But in reality all the kids who are at the back haven't read the book. So you're making it worst for yourself, but the kid next to me knew it all. But of course he's the world's most selfish person. So you stop asking him after the fifth time he ignored you. And then you develop weird habits, you look everywhere and you look at everyone to see if there's anyone troubling like you, to make yourself feel better. But this time, everyone was smart as a whip. And then you realize that you can't give a blank copy so you start writing stuff just for the sake of writing it. For example :

Why is he nice ?

Because he has a nice attitude.

And also you have to write big sentences, so you try writing the best sentences ever, as if that would make any difference. For example :

Where is the big store in the town ?

The big store in the town is at the bottom of the town.

You figure you have a 50% chance to get it, if you think like that.

So then I had 10 minutes left before the bell. And you want to give it before it rings, because if not the teacher thinks you didn't read the book. But you can't just give it because then she'll read it so you have to wait that someone gets up, and give it right before them. I'm pretty sure I think to much of what the teacher thinks of me. Anyways, the guy next to me was kind of moving so I started lurking towards him, but he just wanted to take something out of his. The teacher and he said to sit back down. Embarrassing, I was peaking around to see if anyone was going to give the paper in. I saw someone about to do it but they were to far away. And I wouldn't have been able to catch. While thinking of all of this, the bell rung. This time I wasn't saved by the bell, but cheated.

I gave the paper and the teacher asked if I even read the book. I looked at him, just gave him a dirty look and walked away.

I guess the moral in this story is...wait there isn't any moral to this story, just do you're homework. Or else you'll get pooped on. I still don't know what grade I have, probably not a good one. But I guess there is a first for everything, not my first bad grade, no, my first bad grade I knew in advance.


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89 Reviews


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Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:15 pm
abelgaiya wrote a review...



Hello,

You have an interesting story here. I like it, but there are a few flaws I would like to point out.

Firstly, APPROPRIATE SPACING is one of the pedestals of literature young grasshopper. A spaced work is both attractive and easier to read.

From the third line where you began writing about Sunday, Tuesday Monday... I got kind of muddled. You mixed the whole thing up that readers just want skip that part.
You use the word 'worth' a lot (which is incorrect in your contexts; the correct word is 'worse' and 'worst').

The statement "...wait there isn't any moral to this story" is a fallacy because you went on to actually tell us the moral of the story which is "just do your homework". I understand you wanted it to be funny - which it was - but, it is not 'significantly funny'.

There's my review, and I hope you write more.




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Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:38 am
Hannah wrote a review...



Hey. This is an exercise in voice, and I absolutely RESPECT and ENCOURAGE you for that, but yes, you have to realize the audience you're writing to. We, like your teacher, value correct punctuation. Your teacher wants to understand what you're saying, because how else can she properly read your work and give it a grade?
That's the thing about having an audience, you have to make sure they get what you're saying! The reason we learn punctuation and spelling and stuff in school is so that other people from the same language can get on our level as much as possible -- so they're not trying to figure out your spelling but INSTEAD trying to figure out your meaning, which is hard enough since we all come from different brains. That said, this needs to get cleaned up a lot! You'll keep learning while you're in school, so maybe some of your grammatical errors are things you haven't learned yet, but keep an eye out. They really are important, and you'll find that out later even if you think they're just a nuisance.

As to the writing, what was your purpose in writing this? What did you want to get across? If this really was just a journal entry, there are weblogs on YWS for you to post in without getting reviewed, just to have people read what happened to you. You can still write it in the past tense, like this, like a story; but when you post something in the literary forums people assume you're looking for edits and critiques!

Besides that, the flow of events in this piece was very clear. One thing really led to another, I think strengthened by your belief that we should write the way we speak, which I agree with you on to some point. Usually when we tell stories aloud, we're able to keep things pretty organized by following our thoughts and remembering things in order, so that's another good thing about what you've posted.

Anyway, let me know if you have any questions. And good luck!




Hannah says...


Oh! One more thing! You write "worth" a lot when you mean "worse / worst", so pay attention! :)



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Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:05 am
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Djinn wrote a review...



There are a lot of sentence fragments

"I hate Sunday it's the worth day with Tuesday." not to say anything about the worth days but instead of using the word 'with' when including Tuesday if you used something else it would really help out this sentence.

"it's the worth moment of the week" what's with all this 'worth' being thrown around.

"but then at the end of the week, you realize it's Tuesday." When is Tuesday ever at the end of the week?

"Ironic, hun?" Instead of the 'n' may I suggest an 'h'?

"And the worth part," lemme guess, it's not being able to spell worst?

"So then we had break, and then english, so the test." I don't even understand the last part.

"So you're making it worst for yourself" Now you can spell worst and you don't even use it right?

Okay, I’m just going to stop reading. This is obviously just a journal to you. Please, no one here wants to hear about how boring school is as you horrible butcher the English language. This is a site for people who like creative writing. You know, writing stories. I understand info dumps and even just the throwing around of an idea but please don’t waste our time with the real world. Some of us still would like to believe in our own dreams. Now, if you have a real short story you would like us to correct and give opinions on, feel free to submit.





I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.
— Leonardo da Vinci