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Re: deep-frozen
Critiquing a critique isn't exactly condoned... I liked the poem, but I'm not entirely sure what it was about. It seemed to have a kind of a beauty to it ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Flames of Lecraesa: Chapter 1 (Sray-Valom)
C1 p2 (Finally getting back to this...) She shivered at the freezing dew stinging her face and unconsciously pulled a cloth that didn’t smell familiar around her. You said a ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: The wind of sorrow
Like your other poem, you repeated the title, and the first line, in each of the stanza's beginnings. You'll have to kill yourself of that habit because it does nothing ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Friendship
The repetition of "friendship" in this poem really killed it for me, and your punctuation was haywire. On another one of your poems I posted a link on that (punctuation) ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Two poems
The one thing I got from this the most was the rhyming and you overused it to the strongest degree. Rhyming is good to have in poetry, but if it ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: ...
Hmm.... The writing was good. But perhaps I am not a person for these kinds of things. I was bored. Oh gosh, bored out of my mind. Why do I ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Aesthetic You and Me.
I liked this. It seemed like an odd take on two people meeting up, yes? heir mission on becoming one, developed a true prestige, willow voices narrated our vast law ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Blaze
You said I can be blunt so... I will: I didn't like it. But! I can entirely back up that claim, and hopefully you can fix that problem and make ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: when we wake, we forget what we have dreamed.
some things=one word, somethings. Some parts of this poem I liked, for example: The world is a painting over a painting over something ancient and pulsing, trapped under the artists' ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Just one girl.
I think the major problem with this poem is that it is expressing a feeling: but it doesn't express it well enough. The idea of having a war for no ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Eat Your Mushrooms!
I can't exactly say it was good. It was a rambly poem about mushrooms. I can't even write it a good critique... at least it rhymed well enough? It was ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Prosthesis #54 /P
gar. I hate Ariel. And this is beyond the hate I had for Sarah xD This is serious wtf is wrong with you? hate. With a capital H! Poor Jon...he ...
May 27, 2007 -
Re: Prosthesis #52 /P
I honestly have to say I hated this chapter xD Simply because Haaser was saying a whole lot of stuff you said in that thing you sent me, and so ...
May 26, 2007 -
Re: Prosthesis #51 /P
*excitement* I knew I couldn't trust Ariel. This whole time she showed up I had the suspicious she was still up to these kinds of tricks. And the last line? ...
May 26, 2007 -
Re: Prosthesis #50 /P
I like this, and now I'm starting to wonder more and more who it writing this (character-wise) because this one had no camera scenes, and felt more like a letter. ...
May 26, 2007
