Aesthetic You and Me.

by Chandni

Published May 27, 2007

Our philosophies stood separate
yet your magnetic field
was attracted to mine.

Et vice versa.

We contaminated
each others thoughts,
as if they were devoted -
ready to be combined –

Their mission on becoming one
developed a true prestige,
willow voices narrated our
vast law of attraction;

“Steady at a persuasive halo,
whispering beneath the neutral sun.
they lay beneath, acquiring exertion,
feeding their eternal minds.

In which they hold,
the future in one hand
and the past in another.

Together”

Through our bodies we elaborate,
our beliefs-lost puzzle pieces-
gathering and foreseeing
this infinite glory.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
wewinwelose
Comment
wewinwelose commented Comment · Jun 5, 2007

this is good....but you lost me at the 4th line

User avatar
biancarayne
Review
biancarayne wrote a review Review · Jun 4, 2007

This is definitey a very unique write about two people who at the start seem to be different, with their separate philosophies, and yet somehow they became attracted and in the end they didn't seem quite so different. At least that's what I got from this. A very well-written write with beautiful details and wording. A wonderful write!

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Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review Review · May 27, 2007

I liked this. It seemed like an odd take on two people meeting up, yes?

heir mission on becoming one,
developed a true prestige,
willow voices narrated our
vast law of attraction;


I don't think there should be a comma at the end of the first line, and the third/forth line confused me, I can't pick up the meaning?

Of course, as we both know, I struggle to understand your poetry...



I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
— Steven Wright