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Runaway- chapter 3.

by yourlocalsatanist

I look at him in total disbelief of what he said. “You do?” I ask him. “Yea, I do” He answers back to me. I hug him once again and he hugs me back.

Its a month later now and we are officially dating, we got a house together and life is

going good. We are happy with each other and we hangout a lot and spend time with each other. The foster home hasn’t found me so I'm not worried about it.

I walk into the house with groceries, Cullen isn't too far behind me with more. It feels good to have someone shopping with you, it reminds me of when me and my mom used to go shopping together. I finally get them all packed in with his help so I settle down onto the couch. “Do you need a drink?” Cullen asks me. “Sure.” I say. Cullen leaves and then comes back moments later with two glasses of water and hands one to me. “Thanks.” I say as I guzzle down the water.” As I finished the water I looked over to see Cullen looking over at my arms and he looked uneasy. “W-what's wrong?” I ask him nervously. “What are those on your arms raving. '' he says with a cold voice. “I- well I um..” I stutter not knowing how to explain or even what to say. “Answer me” He says again with a straight dead voice. I hide my wrist from him. He grabs my wrist and looks up at my arm. “How long has this been going on?” he asked me. I couldn’t even talk at the moment. He then sighs. “Ravin, please this isn’t good for your health you have got to stop this.” he tells me. “I know it might seem that the blade might seem like the only one you can rely on but you know you don’t have to go through this by yourself, I'm here for you.” he continues

. Tears roll slightly down my face as he continues to look at the scars that cover my wrist. “Promise me, Promise me you won’t cut yourself anymore.” he says. “I promise”. 

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1080 Reviews

Points: 344
Reviews: 1080

Stickied -- Fri Jan 19, 2024 1:14 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Ravin and Cullen move in together, living as best as they can in their own house with what they’ve got, far away from the foster home.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There’s one part where Cullen says “raving” instead of “Ravin”, but that’s just it.

Chocolate Bar - I like how Ravin seemed much happier shopping with Cullen than she did at the foster home, it shows how much she longed for someone to love in a time when things were bleak.

Closing Graham Cracker - It’s nice that Cullen cared for Ravin after he found out what she was doing to her arms, but it’s also sad, because of what happens in the next chapter. No one would have thought of it… This one was short, but sweet.

I wish you a fabulous day/night!

yourlocalsatanist says...

Thank you for your feedback I just noticed my error thank you for pointing it out!

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Points: 42
Reviews: 19

Fri Jan 19, 2024 11:47 pm
emilia9ludenberg wrote a review...

Hello there. Emilia here to review! :)

First of, just wanted to say that this is one of the shortest chapters I've ever read in a novel- it's almost like a short story in itself, except without an ending obviously. This sort of hits home for me, as I can relate to the subject matter, which really made me both resonate and empathise with Ravin- I feel terrible for her, I hope she ends up okay (hopefully the next chapter doesn't show anything tragic). I don't have many criticisms for this, though I would say work on the grammar a little more- and don't start a new paragraph in the middle of a sentence, it's just confusing to read it. But overall, I think the main strength of this chapter is its emotional intensity, by portraying a tragic scene with the main characters, in a concise manner, which is honestly refreshing to see. I may try to implement the idea of being more concise into my future writing, so thank you for this.

Emilia :)

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
— Woodrow Wilson