I'm Falling In Love

Hey Max! I am back with a review for another lovely poem of yours. Let's jump right in, shall we? To begin, I really love the simplicity of your work. It wasn't overly complicated, and I wasn't distracted with big words or hard to understand metaphors. Instead, I felt like you were really speaking in a narrative way, telling us about your feelings for this person, and how it makes you feel. It feels very blunt and honest, which is something that that I really love in poetry.

being left on sent drives me nuts.

but when you text,

i cant get enough.

This is a really interesting contrast. When you text them, and they don't reply yet, it drives you crazy, anticipation, and waiting for them to reply to you. But when they do reply, it's nearly addictive. I find it interesting how you touch on these two opposites, which are both addicting in a way. The anticipation and then the rush that you get from a response. I love how you contrast both of these so quickly and it really caught my attention. Nice work with that!

maybe use my brain.

but im falling in love,

what more can i say?

I like how you have a bit of a comedic element here. Not exactly comedic, but very casual if you know what I mean. The phrase "maybe use my brain" stood out to me, because, of course we are using our brains for everything we do. In a literal sense at least. You apply to more of a metaphorical lens, which I think means you're saying that you think that you should try and think harder when interacting with this person. Perhaps you're being led with your heart instead of looking at what's in front of you logically. I like how you ended this palm with a question as well. It says if you have nothing else to say except what you've already said, and everything else lives inside of your heart and it's still growing. I wish you the best in this adventure, and can't wait to read more of your poetry!

Your friend,
Ellie

Hello! I'm Wist and I'm here to review your poem.

Your poem is deeply emotional and captures the experience of falling in love with someone in a modern context. The use of texting and the mixed emotions of uncertainty and longing are portrayed with raw honesty. The speaker's struggle to maintain a conversation and the overwhelming feelings for the other person are relatable. The repetition of "falling in love" emphasizes the intensity of the emotions, and the internal conflict of wanting to remain rational while being swept up in love is palpable. However, I wanted to point out a few minor issues in the writing.

I don't know what to do

This line starts with a capital letter while the rest of your poem is entirely lowercase, so I would suggest making this also lowercase to fit.

so i cant say im in love.

You keep going back and forth over adding apostrophes to your conjugations. It's a little confusing trying to figure out what your style is when you keep changing it. I would suggest just picking one—neither is better or worse—and sticking to that.

keeping a conversations never been so hard.

Here is another case of a missing apostrophe, but this one makes "conversation" look plural rather than a conjugation, so it makes the sentence more hard to read than the others. If you decide to forego apostrophes, I would change it to "conversation has." If you want to add apostrophes, just make sure to add one here!

Overall, I think the message of your poem is sound. It's clear what your goal is and I believe you do well to achieve it, there's just a few minor structural errors that once fixed will only make this poem shine more. Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.

Happy Writing!
Wist