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Gabriel-The origin story-A clown’s death

by vampricone6783


*This is my character’s origin story.He is in my story:”The town of Richardson.” There are pictures of him in my wall.You can check them out if you’re interested in knowing what he looks like.

Once upon a time,in 1993,there was a young boy named Gabriel.He was fourteen years old.

He had a little sister named Gwyneth who was only nine and she adored him.His parents loved him,too.

But,he wanted to do something,to be something more.He didn’t just want to live the life of a fourteen year old and go to school.No,that was boring,boring as heck.

He wanted to entertain people.He wanted to share his happiness with others and school just wasn’t the place to do it.

Gabriel told his parents what he wanted and they said they’d do their best to find him things to do after school.

Of course,it took a while for them to find him something to do.But,they finally found something.

A circus.”The Ladoucuer family circus”,to be exact.He’d perform there,as a clown.A clown named Bubblegum.

……………………………………………………………

He was having a grand time at the circus.He made friends with the owner’s son,William.Plus,people loved to see him perform.

Well,some people.Mostly young children.Some were afraid of him.Others mocked him.Gabriel really didn’t give a damn.

There wasn’t much else to it.It was something he enjoyed,that was all that mattered.

……………………………………………………………

Until one day,when a girl he recognized from school and had a small crush on started talking to him.

Her name was Denise and she seemed to really care about him.She loved talking to him,watching him perform and she was there for him when needed.

Gabriel loved her and would do anything for her.

One night,he ended up staying in the circus later,because he wanted to explore it on his own.Denise was there with him.It was a date.

They stumbled deeper into the woods,(the circus was in the woods) and they found Lucas,burying something in the dirt.

Gabriel stepped closer,to ask him what he was doing.

Lucas stopped moving.

Gabriel looked down,at Lucas’s feet..

……

….

And was mortified to find the dead,mangled,bloody bodies of William and his Mother.

Lucas turned around to look at him.A devious,insane smile was on his face.

He charged at the boy and his girlfriend with a bloody knife.

Denise and Gabriel ran as fast as they could from that mad man.Denise could run faster than Gabriel,because he was still in his clown costume and it got in the way.

When they finally reached the locked gates of the circus,Denise climbed out with ease.

Gabriel was struggling.He’d thought that she’d help him,but she just grinned at him.

“W-What are you doing? Aren’t you going to help me?!” Gabriel asked.

Denise laughed.

“You really thought I cared about you,didn’t you?” She asked.

He said nothing.

“It was just some stupid dare my friends made me do! It was a really fun dare,though.You’re gross and ugly.You’re better off dead!” She laughed.

Surely she didn’t mean that?! She could dislike him,but not enough to leave him to die,right?

Right?!

Denise was just saying that because she was frightened,she couldn’t possibly mean anything she said.Maybe she’d help him after all!

“Very funny,Denise.But you’ve got to help me! We don’t have much time!” He yelled.

She already left.

He could feel the cold hand of Lucas’s on his shoulder.Lucas grabbed the boy and hauled him off to a tent,where he’d brutally murder him.

It was no use fighting.He’d never win.He already lost.

Denise betrayed him.

She never cared about him.

Ever.

He was truly alone.




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Thu Oct 07, 2021 6:24 am
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okay...another one of these lovely little short pieces of backstory here. There's not a lot of detail that goes in but yet you manage to really bring out a few strong emotions especially on the circumstances that surrounds each of these deaths and I've really love reading all of these.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Once upon a time,in 1993,there was a young boy named Gabriel.He was fourteen years old.

He had a little sister named Gwyneth who was only nine and she adored him.His parents loved him,too.

But,he wanted to do something,to be something more.He didn’t just want to live the life of a fourteen year old and go to school.No,that was boring,boring as heck.

He wanted to entertain people.He wanted to share his happiness with others and school just wasn’t the place to do it.


Okay...so I'm not a hundred percent sure I'm remembering the names correctly but judging from the pattern that we've had, I'm gonna guess this is the father, and here we are starting off with his life as a young boy here. It looks like from a pretty young age he wanted to do the whole circus situation...so he does perhaps have quite a passion for it which would help explain his later actions.

Gabriel told his parents what he wanted and they said they’d do their best to find him things to do after school.

Of course,it took a while for them to find him something to do.But,they finally found something.

A circus.”The Ladoucuer family circus”,to be exact.He’d perform there,as a clown.A clown named Bubblegum.


Huh...hmm,...okay perhaps not then...this seems to be a different clown and not the actual owner who went mad and killed a bunch of people. At any rate, this should still be pretty interesting to see as a POV, so let's see where this is going. I also love how his family was so supportive of his dream to become a clown like that, I feel like that wouldn't happen in a lot of families these days.

He was having a grand time at the circus.He made friends with the owner’s son,William.Plus,people loved to see him perform.

Well,some people.Mostly young children.Some were afraid of him.Others mocked him.Gabriel really didn’t give a damn.

There wasn’t much else to it.It was something he enjoyed,that was all that mattered.


Hmm...this is an interesting little segment there. It looks this is perhaps the sort of motivation that kept things going for our clown friend here and how much he liked the things that he was doing. For someone that appears to be fairly young here, this is a very interesting outlook on life there.

Until one day,when a girl he recognized from school and had a small crush on started talking to him.

Her name was Denise and she seemed to really care about him.She loved talking to him,watching him perform and she was there for him when needed.

Gabriel loved her and would do anything for her.

One night,he ended up staying in the circus later,because he wanted to explore it on his own.Denise was there with him.It was a date.

They stumbled deeper into the woods,(the circus was in the woods) and they found Lucas,burying something in the dirt.


Oh noo...just when I was starting to think maybe this is the one guy that ends up with a happier ending where he just has to deal with the confusion of William and the rest of the family missing. Instead well, he seems to be doing quite well in life when he literally stumbles what I'm gonna assume is Lucas burying the dead bodies of the family that he just killed probably not too long ago.

Gabriel stepped closer,to ask him what he was doing.

Lucas stopped moving.

Gabriel looked down,at Lucas’s feet..


Oh this is so not going to end well for the poor guy...ahh well, I suppose by now I really should've learnt my lesson to stop expecting any of these to end well...xD. The tension is being slowly built up nicely here to a gruesome end for this poor guy and his girlfriend.

And was mortified to find the dead,mangled,bloody bodies of William and his Mother.

Lucas turned around to look at him.A devious,insane smile was on his face.

He charged at the boy and his girlfriend with a bloody knife.

Denise and Gabriel ran as fast as they could from that mad man.Denise could run faster than Gabriel,because he was still in his clown costume and it got in the way.


Ohhh...this is interesting, looks like the two are at least trying for an escape, so that's something that none of the previous victims ever had the ability to do, that certainly spices things up a little, especially the detail about how Denise is faster than Gabrielle.

When they finally reached the locked gates of the circus,Denise climbed out with ease.

Gabriel was struggling.He’d thought that she’d help him,but she just grinned at him.

“W-What are you doing? Aren’t you going to help me?!” Gabriel asked.

Denise laughed.

“You really thought I cared about you,didn’t you?” She asked.

He said nothing.

“It was just some stupid dare my friends made me do! It was a really fun dare,though.You’re gross and ugly.You’re better off dead!” She laughed.


Oh no...wait a minute, hello...villain...yes...this girls is seriously much worse than Lucas. Lucas only just killed people, but this, oh wow, she's the real embodiment of evil, its one thing to trick someone, and then dump someone but to do it in the middle of a murder attempt and leave someone to die...oh wow...that's just, next level villainy right there. I did NOT see that one coming, wow, what a twist, so of course she maybe lives, you never know how determined Lucas is...but Gabrielle is definitely dead, even if Lucas doesn't kill him, he's dead already.

Surely she didn’t mean that?! She could dislike him,but not enough to leave him to die,right?

Right?!

Denise was just saying that because she was frightened,she couldn’t possibly mean anything she said.Maybe she’d help him after all!

“Very funny,Denise.But you’ve got to help me! We don’t have much time!” He yelled.

She already left.


Oooh, I like how you drag that scene out just that little bit more there. You can see the genuine disbelief in Gabrielle and then the realization that Denise did in fact mean every word that she said earlier.

He could feel the cold hand of Lucas’s on his shoulder.Lucas grabbed the boy and hauled him off to a tent,where he’d brutally murder him.

It was no use fighting.He’d never win.He already lost.

Denise betrayed him.

She never cared about him.

Ever.

He was truly alone.


Oooh...a bit of a different ending on that one. He doesn't even seen to have come back as a ghost to haunt the place. His murder just kind of ends with him accepting his fate and just kind of almost inviting his death where he just fades off into a lonely abyss. This is perhaps the most powerful ending/ death that we've had yet in this series of backstories...well well...

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this was perhaps the most powerful of these backstories that I've read here. That twist especially caught be completely by surprise. Its not the most detailed of backstories, but it was a good piece. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Points: 11
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Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:39 am
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Marshall2 wrote a review...



I really like the detail in this story like Lucas's devious smile. I also liked the twist in the story when Denese and Lucas betrayed Gabriel. You also did a good job at the end with the cliffhanger, it makes me want to read more.

In the story the commas and periods do not have spaces. This makes it feel a little clumped together. If you put spaces between the commas and periods, it will make it easier to read. I think this will be a very good story. Good job!




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Thu Oct 07, 2021 1:30 am
Marshall2 says...







Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickenson