Hey, @tgham99!
This poem of yours is profound and a powerful piece which describes the plight of a new student at school.
The title of the poem is lucid and picturises the scenario of the poem.
The first line hit the surface of emotion, every reader can relate to it. We all have experienced such situations and you've put it in idyllic sentence,
lost amongst a sea
of unfamiliar faces
That feel of getting engulfed in uncertain ocean, you portrayed here is brilliant. It was the seed for the rest of the poem reaped.
The second line was like a reflex to what the poet just experienced in the first line.
So well penned, the poem was narrative in the sense of starting with observation of how things happening around affects the poet.
The comparison of backpack's weight to world's weight shows the stress and anxiety level of the newbie there.
Speaking about the bewildering chattering and the burden of knowledge in the last paragraph of the poem depicts the nervousness.
Overall, this is a good realistic poem which makes the reader time travel to the situation they faced.
This is not a poem which makes us picturise some other person roaming in the halls but the reader. That's the speciality of this poem.
Good work! Keep up the writing
Suggestion: The Chaos happening around was well expressed in this poem but the things happening inside you when you face the situation is less that makes the poem less powerful. I mean you started of so well that the reader expects more of what they felt while reading your poem since they become that person in your poem.
I enjoyed reading your poem.
Poetry has no rules it's an outlet for all of us, I get it
Just a small suggestion.
Have a great day!
Keep up the awesome writing! Looking forward for more
Points: 4109
Reviews: 94
Donate