Deception comes in many forms;
For you and I, it took on the ugly shape
Of a quiet night of shame.
In the midst of your dispassionate apology,
I came to the realization
That I was never enough
To quell your apprehension.
Through the film of your feeble desperation,
I was able to decode
Your nauseating capacity
For spinning such effortless untruths.
Within the deafening silence
That threatens to swallow us whole,
I take an ironic sort of comfort
In the apathy that has settled in between us.
Within the painful tranquility
That your dishonesty has bred,
I have finally understood
That your loyalty extends only as far
As your love for yourself.
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139,186 Literary Works • 672,493 Reviews
**My Thoughts**
Hey tgham99! LZ here with a review! I liked this poem! The subject was amazing, I haven't read a poem like this before!
**Formatting and Grammar**
I really liked the formatting! It looks very organized. I like how you kept the stanzas at four lines and not a different amount of lines each stanza. As for grammar, I didn't notice anything wrong or that stood out to me!
**Punctuation and Capitalization**
Your punctuation was fine! I noticed you only used periods and commas. I also noticed you didn't use apostrophes or contractions! Capitalization was good, too. There was nothing I sawe that was wrong!
**Quick Review**
Everything was fine!
Keep on writing and have a good 2020!!
Thank you for your feedback!! <3
I loved this poem so much. I love the descriptions and the powerful lines.
Thank you so much!! Glad you liked it
I feel your hurt while reading this. The pain of a relationship that is going nowhere and not meant to be. Your honesty and loyalty sounds unrequited. The ending, to me suggests understanding and acceptance that the disloyalty was not due to your own error, but due to timing and lack of self-love. They didn’t have the capacity to love you when they struggle with their own self worth. The line that mentions “an ironic sort of comfort” is a great description of the contentment that comes with realization of a splitting relationship. I enjoyed this!
Thank you so much for your review!! I really tried to emphasize the way betrayal and dishonesty are one and the same; there's a lot of heaviness within this poem.
I feel your hurt while reading this. The pain of a relationship that is going nowhere and not meant to be. Your honesty and loyalty sounds unrequited. The ending, to me suggests understanding and acceptance that the disloyalty was not due to your own error, but due to timing and lack of self-love. They didn’t have the capacity to love you when they struggle with their own self worth. The line that mentions “an ironic sort of comfort” is a great description of the contentment that comes with realization of a splitting relationship. I enjoyed this!