This is not a poetry even though its listed under the poetry genre. Also I know I haven't put capital letters and Im not that great with grammar so... yeah. These isn't fictional. Its not a cheesy love poem, I made it up as I go so it was not structured. So I guess my poured out my heart on YWS (: You may think I tried to make it a poem, but I haven't these are my true feelings.
I love you,
It's as simple as that
I see your graceful movements,
I see your eyes brighten when you laugh,
I can't stop thinking about you.
We laugh together,
We talk,
We share moments,
Moments, that I keep thinking about afterwards.
I love how your hair tips over to one side when you write
How you catch me off guard,
you’re unpredictable
It’s like a total rush to me.
You make me laugh without even intending to
I catch your eye sometimes and feel my heart beat increasing
The sun alits your perfect face and it takes my breath away
You hang out with people who backstab and compliment in the same breath
I want to shout at you,
Why do you hang out with these people? Your better than them and when you need their support
you think they're going to give you any?
I’m jealous of anyone who goes out with you
I’m angry at anyone who treats you like shit.
I try to control myself to get over you, But I can't control my thoughts.
I lay in bed wide awake thinking what if...
We cannot control our laughter, our youthful spirits with each other
One peek and we start laughing to a joke only we have connection to
But when I look at you only to find you staring at me, it warms my heart
Hearing your voice makes my day
When you text me I read it over and over to find any hidden messages
You have no idea of my crush
I try to act serious, but you bring out the best in me
Although I treat you like the rest, I cannot compare you with the others
To you I'm probably just a friend you can have a laugh with
That kills me
I guess this relationship's only one sided
Maybe I should move on, forget it all
But my heart refuses whenever I look at you
I feel like hugging you whenever you seem sad
But I control myself
Afraid I would knock down the little foundation we made as friends
and never again get the chance to really talk to you
Is it better this way?
I'm just another in your life
But in mine
you’re one in million
to me you’re the world
I know I would never express my feelings for you
Too afraid of the response
Too afraid of my feelings
But despite all
You’re my first love and I will never forget that <3
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140,958 Literary Works • 673,782 Reviews
i really know how u feel!
its sad indeed....
well really well expressed, even if u din't hav tym!:p
I really felt the emotions!
This si very good but like the others have said maybe you should
tidy it up a little more (:
Other than that, brilliant (:
Hey
You say it isn't poetry but I think the flow and the rhythme make it qualify. It is truly deep, and very descriptive which is how first love should be. The way you describe him is truly cute and the pang that comes with knowing that you'll never forget your first love is something readers can relate to. Pouring out your heart some times leads to art and that's good because those emotions just look so brilliant once written down.
A few typos here and there but it was good. I think you should sort of fix up the last stanza, shorter stanzas really are effective.(I think). And I think take out the notepad whenever you feel a certain way and voi la there is a classic.
Keep up with the good work!
Hey
I love you poem but you should had some stanzas so readers wont have a hard time reading it. Also "i" should be capitalize (always) because you representing yourself. But other then that it was a good poem. I liked how you express your self. You did that alot (:D). Keep up the good work.
Giselle97 ;D
Nice, it's a bit long though making it a little hard to read. Try creating stanzas and neatening everything up.
The start is very nice but it get's messy after that. Try controlling you lines and expressing your feelings in a more stubble way. This is a short review. i might come back and write more but I'm tired.