Small Things That Helped Me

I have thought and thought and thought about what helped me overcome the darkness that had sunk its teeth deeply into every inch of my skin and the constant growling that had echoed inside my head, it had seeped into every fold of my brain and every nerve that exists in my body. On the days where I felt the heaviness of my blood as it rushed around like a calm but deadly stream, I wished I could have disconnected the cords that attached my thoughts to my body.

What helped me? I have come up with my answer.

It was the melody of a song.
The lyrics were an eternal thread,
And the rhythms sewed up my internal wounds.
Perhaps on some days it was all I woke up for.
The songs enveloped their arms around my frail body,
whispering words of comfort and understanding.

It was the stories that I had yet to read.
The adventures that awaited me inside the soft pages,
Would always make me anticipate the future,
And it was okay if the ‘future’ was over in 3 hours or the next morning.
There were always other books.
It acted as a distraction.
The words would dance around my head,
Even years after reading the book.

It was the constantly changing sky.
I have always thought the sky was a canvas and the painter, unknown.
Then I replaced the sky with my body,
And I employed myself as the painter.
What I have learnt is that life is never consistent,
Much like the clouds that appear and disappear.
The colours of the sunset and the way they bleed into onto the pavement,
Is not going to be the same tomorrow.

From the windy days,
When things would be swept away by the strong gust,
I have realised that some things are beyond your control,
No matter how far I reach out my hand, how hard I scream,
I will only be left with blistered hands and a sore throat.
And that’s okay.
The rain would always come and wash away the dirt from yesterday.
It was the unfathomable depth of the sky.
Like the way there are numerous galaxies inside a small part of the sky,
There is more to me than what can be seen,
Much more than I would have imagined existed inside this shell of a body. 

This is my answer.
These little things helped me get better.