new hope.

by silverSUNLIGHTx

Published September 13, 2008

In Poems.

Captured by passion
Winds sweep
Waters flow
Oranges paint the sunset
Love paints the heart
Uncontrollable
A vehemence that cannot be denied
Nerves ablaze with the moment
Inhibitions thrown into the sea
Lost
Under miles of secrets
A step taken
A page turned
Just waiting for life’s pen
To write the next chapter
Last sunset
New hope

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Just_Listen
Review
Just_Listen wrote a review Review · May 3, 2009

Hey jada!! ok well i really liked it!! it was very
descriptive and painted a beautiful picture in
my mind. This was my favorite
part:

A page turned

Just waiting for life’s pen

To write the next chapter


my only suggestion would be to add some punctuation,
just to help it flow better and give it more, hmmm,
i'm not really sure what to call it, more definition i guess?
I'm not exactly sure, but it was really good! love ya girly!

~Justy

User avatar
AlyceParke Review
AlyceParke wrote a review Review · Sep 17, 2008

I can totally imagine this to a beat with a lot of strings. if you added some more, like something to be used as verses, this could be an amazing piece of lyrics. The orange-painted sunset, it makes me think of those crisp autumn evenings where everything is tainted by that reddish glow, with leaves scattered around and the only warmth being offered by the waning sun. SO.

Effective--very much so. It makes the reader feel determined to move on, more like a kick-ass and take-names kind of feel.

User avatar
Lil_Pau
Review
Lil_Pau wrote a review Review · Sep 15, 2008

It's a good piece of work, a display of strong emotions. The only thing I can point out is you should try adding punctuation. It makes the poem flow better. :)

That's all I can say.

Keep writing!
:)

Random avatar
MissAngle
Review
MissAngle wrote a review Review · Sep 14, 2008

Nicely done I like it and these are my favourite lines :D

Winds sweep

Waters flow

Oranges paint the sunset

Love paints the heart



Oh, I'm sorry. My friends are in the popcorn and I have to save them.
— Tori Hansen, Power Rangers Ninja Storm