The Prophecy Ch. 9

by sarahnsnow

Published September 28, 2013

E - Everyone

In The Chosen Ones Series

All Danielle could see was darkness. complete dreaded, nothingness that enveloped them as they traveled through the cave. Danielle had no idea of what they were looking for, or where they were going to.


"Danielle, look where you are going!" Herman exclaimed. She stopped and apologized for she almost stepped on him with her big foot.

"Just a little further and we will arrive at our destination," Andorra told them. How much more do we have to go? Danielle thought.This is like a path of darkness. Any where you go, there will always be darkness that takes you in and never lets you go.
"Here it is," Andorra said. Danielle looked forward to see a tiny speck of light. It was until then, they entered a magnificent world. It was so large it looked to be the size of Zilda. Inside was a big waterfall that ran through two cliffs down into a beautiful lake. Green trees and moss grew on every wall and on the ceiling. The most surprising thing about the world was that there thousands of brilliant, black winged creatures surviving inside the mountain.

*******
The man who always hid in the shadows of the chamber stood and spoke to a minotaur who faced him directly.

"Andorra wants you to move the army out. She said she would meet you on the battle grounds soon." The minotaur turned around and stomped out of the room. The man walked to the window and looked below. Thousands of minotaurs were inside the gate waiting for the gate to open. Wyverns flew above the necropolis ready for war as well.

"This will be very interesting," he said. He watched the gate be opened and all the creatures raced out into the valley.

****

"This cannot be possible," he said as he let his eyes wander. These creatures were Black Dragons. Black Dragons: said to be the most powerful dragon of all. Here they were, alive, well and healthy in their own little world.

"B-black Dragons?" Danielle asked. "There are more!" Herman converted his eyes to Danielle.

"Do you not understand?" He yelled.

"Black Dragons disappeared long long ago. No one has ever seen one since."

"But they are here!" Danielle exclaimed.

"I wonder how and why," Herman said. A few black dragons pounced off the walls and flew through the air.

"They are so amazing! They are huge! They are even bigger than me!"

"Forget about amazing. They destroyed many kingdoms and killed many people in the past. No one can forgive them for what they did."

"Enough talk," Andorra said. When they first came into this world where the black dragons lived, they were standing on a cliff that stood over a black pit. But there was a bridge connecting from the cliff to a large meadow where more black dragons lay. Andorra and Herman walked across the bridge as Danielle pulled out her wings and flew across the pit and then she met them in the meadow.

The black dragons who laid in the grass turned to them and stared at them for a long time.

"This will be my ultimate weapon against the world," Andorra told them. Herman studied the witch silently and then realized her true reason behind wanting such power. She was going to use these creatures to fight against Danielle's father.

"You! I-I can't believe you.." he began to talk but stopped. Andorra smiled once he realized.

"Isn't it shocking? An army of Black Dragons to once again rein free in this world after 400 years. And I will be in control of them." He gaped in horror at her. He couldn't believe some one with so much hatred and revenge would do this. Everyone in the world could be destroyed and that would be the end of all human life.

"Look!" Danielle exclaimed. Above them a massive dragon was hovering in the air and then began to land in front of them. The black dragon was extremely large, bigger than Danielle herself. It was staring at them with bright red eyes. It looked at Danielle.

"Uh, hi?" Danielle said.Can it speak? She wondered.

"Welcome. How long we have waited for this day." Danielle blinked. The dragon had spoken in a gruff and low voice.He is old. I wonder how old.Danielle thought. More Black Dragons gathered around them.

"Dragons!" Andorra bellowed. "You have been sealed away by the evil Sorcerer Tobar for four hundred years! I have come to set you free! But you have to join me in this war between I and the world!" The dragons looked at each other. The dragon who spoke first looked at Andorra in confusion.

"How do you know of the one who sealed us away in this world?" He asked.

"I discovered it from the four sorcerers," Andorra replied with a sly smile. Murmurs spread throughout the dragons.

"You want us to join you?" A female dragon asked. Andorra nodded.

"This..." The old dragon looked at his kin. "This is not part of the prophecy."

***

"The furious will be Unleashed.That is the first line of the prophecy!"

"I do not care about the prophecy!" Andorra yelled. "I want to change it!"

"It is not possible," the dragon replied. "The further extent of the prophecy says once we are unleashed, we will live in peace with the humans."

"But don't you want to change that? Humans fought against you! They tried to kill you!" Andorra's voice was full of rage.

"I wish we could, butno onenot even the four sorcerers are able to change the prophecy." Danielle watched Andorra's tense body begin to shake.Was she crying?

"You do not know what those humans did to me! Everywhere I went they glared at me and whispered things about me. Some even ran away as if I was some monster! Isn't there a reason to get back at them?" She fell to the ground in sobs surprising them all.I want to destroy everyone. Even children and babies.

" I am sorry," the old dragon said. " This is your fight, one you must fight alone."

"Silence!" Andorra stood up and furiously wiped the tears from her face.

"Fine then. But just because you are not part of my army, does not mean I will not lose. My army is already powerful enough to win against my brother's." Andorra then disappeared. Having heard of Andorra's past, Danielle couldn't help but feel sympathy for her.

Andorra appeared back in her chamber here the man in the shadows waited for her.

"It did not work?" he asked. Andorra shook her head and kept back the tears that wanted to come out. Then she went to the far right wall. A sword hung on the wall. She grabbed the hilt which suddenly glowed red right as she touched it. She held the glowing sword in her hand.

"Be careful Andorra," the man said. Andorra vanished.

***

The sky was completely gray, creating a darkness through out the world. The air became humid and colder. King Steven, Judas and Adrian led their army as King Seth's army walked beside them. They stopped on a large dirt field and just beyond it were mountains. They were on the field that would soon turn into a battlefield. Soon to be covered with dead bodies and blood. Steven sat up straight in his saddle. He had to believe that he could protect his kingdom. He made a vow when he was crowned king of Zilda.

"I am grateful to be chosen to be the next king. I will rule bravely and protect this kingdom with all my heart so no evil will ever dare conquer us. Believe and trust in me so this kingdom will live on for generations to come."

This kingdom will not be taken over so easily.He thought.Our hearts are stronger than anything else we have.He glanced at Judas. It has been so long since I have seen you. Now your fighting with me in this war.

"Father," Adrian said. Coming out of the mountains were Andorra's soldiers. And in the sky, flying creatures were coming to the battle as well. Once they stopped, everything was still as the moon in the night.

"Do you see her, father?" Adrian asked. Steve looked at the army closely.

"No," he replied.

"Where is she?" Judas asked eagerly. Suddenly the other army began to sprint across the field.

"Here they come," Samuel said as he sat on his white horse next to his father.

"We have to wait for Steven's signal," Seth said.

"Can you believe it father? There has not been another war for who knows how long?"

"Zilda and Zelda once fought against each other, Now we are fighting together," Seth replied.

"You know father, when I was younger, I always dreamed of fighting in a war with you." Seth smiled.

"I remember that too. You asked a lot of times if there was going to be wars in the future."

"And you replied with "I certainly hope not." Seth chuckled a so did Samuel."Protect him."Samuel thought of the words his mother told him.I will. Do not worry mother.

"Let's go," Steven said. He, Judas and Adrian began riding their horses onto the field with their troops following. Seth and Samuel followed his actions.
***

Danielle's eyes examined the black dragons when more of them came to welcome them. Some were about her size when others were incredibly bulky. Herman looked utterly shocked as well.This could mean a completely new world.He thought.

"What will you do now?" Danielle asked.

"We will leave this place and return to the Enigma Mountains of course," another male dragon spoke.

"You allowed us to be set free. Only another Black dragon could set us free of the magic that kept us in this hidden world. Thank you." The old dragon said and bowed. Danielle stared at the dragon in surprise. Once he stood back up his eyes were only focused on Herman. Suddenly, he bent his head down lower and sniffed him.

"You hold blood of a powerful slayer," the old dragon said.

"Do you mean Romon Blaize?" Herman asked.

"Yes, he was a brave man with lot's of power. Iwasthe one who killed him actually." Herman stared at him in shock. This dragon was extremely old but he could tell his time was coming to an end. The dragon looked at Danielle.

"We will fight with you against Andorra. This is also part of the prophecy.The black dragons will help bring peace to the world once they are unleashed." Danielle opened her mouth to reply but closed it. She didn't know what to say and Herman's eyes were filled with unbelief.Andorra will not be pleased at all. He thought.

"You will guide us," The old dragon said to Danielle.

"M-me?" The dragons looked at her with serious eyes that dug deep into her soul. “Me?! I can’t! I’m only a princess who has no idea how to lea-“ The Dragons kept staring at her. Danielle couldn’t believe it. She was to lead them into the battle? She hesitated before replying,

"Alright." Herman climbed onto her back.

"Do not forget, I am coming to." Danielle walked back into the dark tunnel with the Black Dragons following. She was going to war. This was something she never thought would ever happen to her.
****

Samuel swung his sword and slashed a minotaur's chest. It fell to ground defeated. Then he killed many others that challenged him to certain death. Glancing behind him, a minotaur raced at him and aimed for his neck. Samuel's sword was much to caught with the minotaur's ax that he could not get away. But Adrian stabbed it just before the sword could slice him.

"Thanks, " he said. Adrian nodded and began to fight minotaurs that lunged at him. Samuel looked around seeing many knights fall and more of their enemies live. One minotaur viciously fought a knight that soon collapsed to the ground. Samuel leaped at his enemy and killed it instantly. The knight was still alive but his arm had almost been completely cut off. Around him, he fought more and more minotaurs as if they had been appearing out of no where.

Above them the wyverns passed over them. Samuel watched them suspiciously as they flew farther away from the war.

"They are flying towards Zilda!" He screamed. Adrian looked at him and then also looked at the wyverns who were becoming farther away from them.

"Where is father?" he asked himself. He searched the battlefield for any sigh of him but there was none. Also, there was a wide, empty spot where no one fought. Andorra appeared in that spot holding a glowing, red sword.

"Andorra!" He gasped and finished off the minotaur he was battling. She was looking at all the battles being fought.

"Yes, more of them should die," she said. A knight ran to fight her but she used her mysterious sword to slash him. Samuel watched in horror as the blade exploded with flames burning the knight to death.

"That sword," Samuel whispered. Andorra killed many more of his knights creating more fires across the field. Samuel chased after her and roared. The witch turned around quick enough to block his sword. Samuel felt the heat of the blade on his face. He felt his face burning just by being so close to it. Suddenly his blade began to melt causing his hand to lose control of his beneath her sword.

"What is this sword?" He exclaimed. When her blade fully melted his, she used her magic to throw him to the ground. He tried to sit up from the pain he felt when his back hit the ground. Andorra thrust her sword in his face but it did not touch him.

"This is the Sword Of Blaize, the most powerful sword in the world. Once belonged to Romon Blaize. It was created by the four sorcerers." Samuel stared in fright at the powerful flames that rippled the sword's blade.

Andorra smirked.

"You fear it don't you?" She asked and took it away from his face. "You should because you will die by this sword!" Andorra swung the sword preparing to strike his heart, but someone blocked it. Andorra's eyes widened.

"Steven? What are you doing? Get out of my way!" She yelled throwing Steven's sword from hers but Steven suppressed her again.

"This fight is only between you and I!" Andorra backed away and glared at him with her piercing green eyes. Then she lunged at him and they clashed swords many countless times. Samuel fearfully watched them. He felt someone touch his shoulder and when he looked, it was his father.

"Get up son," he said. Seth held his arm and helped him to ascend to his feet.

"Let them fight," he said. Samuel nervously watched as Steven and Andorra fight.

"Andorra," Steven said as their swords clanged again and again. "Please stop this." Andorra's eyes blazed with hatred.

"I will never! Everyone will pay their deaths for what they did to me. And you as well!" With all her might, she hit her brother's sword furiously causing his sword to heavily vibrate. Steven eyed his melting blade.How could Andorra get her hands on such a sword?He thought. Andorra gave a battle cry as she lunged at him again. Her sword lit up with more flames as they clashed. Steven couldn't believe when to upper portion of his blade melted away. Andorra never once was good at sword fighting but she could conquer anyone with that weapon.
Steven dodged her swinging sword and he felt the fire's almighty heat pass by him.

"I want you to die for taking my throne!" She cried. "And I want everyone to die for the pain and suffering they brought me!" As Steven escaped her supreme swings, he felt himself become exhausted every time he dodged.

"I am sorry for your suffering!" He cried. But he could see in her eyes that she was not going to give up.
Her next aim for him, he couldn't dodge quick enough so he felt a screaming pain in his side. Her sword grazed him making the wound more painful from the fire's hotness.

"Father!" Adrian cried and was going to fight her himself but Seth's arm blocked him. Instead, he unsheathed his sword and readied it in front of him. He was a better sword fighter than Steven or Judas.

"If you fight me, you will die anyway," Andorra told them. She stood close to Steven with her sword pointed down toward him. The sword flared with more capacious flames.

"You will burn on your grave until you die," she told him. She drove her sword down to him but halted when a mighty roar filled her ears.

There was a Black Dragon drifting towards the battle field with more dragons following it with abundant numbers.

"Is... this part of ...your plan?" Steven asked between gasps as he tried to regain his breath for the burning of his skin was too great. Andorra did not reply but stared at the dragons who flew closer and closer. She gritted her teeth.I cannot believe it.She thought.Why? Everything I do, does not end with what I want.

"Are those Black Dragons?" Samuel asked. "Impossible." They were and there were thousands of them. Seth was also dumbstruck as he watched the creatures fly towards them.

"I wonder," Samuel said to himself.Could Danielle be with them?They heard a clang and looked at Andorra. She dropped her sword in shock.

"No, I still have not finished my revenge," she muttered under her breath. She picked up her sword again and turned to Steven.At least I can kill him.She thought. Her sword whistled through the air as she cut through it to slay Steven's heart.

"Andorra!" She watched as Judas restrained her sword with his. The bandit's face was covered with dirt and cuts from fighting her soldiers. He was looking at her with soft, calm eyes. She stepped back thinking of before when he hugged her. She still couldn't understand why he did that.
****
Danielle and the army of the Black Dragons soon reached the battle field where her father's army was still fighting.

"GO!" Danielle exclaimed. "And destroy every single minotaur you come across!" The old dragon who flew next to her swooped down with the rest.

She watched as they breathed fire burning the minotaurs to a crisp. I have to find father. She thought.

"Down there Danielle!" Herman yelled to her as he rode on her back. She looked down to see Andorra fighting Judas who was protecting her father.

"I am going down!" She exclaimed. She dived through the air toward the ground until she landed. Herman slipped off her back.

"Herman?" They heard a familiar voice. It was Samuel.

"Danielle?" He looked at her and she nodded.

"Yes it is me." He was bruised everywhere and there was a large cut along his cheek. Her heart ached seeing him again. She walked toward him and bent down ward.

"I was worried," he said quietly. Danielle smiled.

"Me too. I wasn't sure where you went when you disappeared."

"No time for this," Herman said. Danielle knew what he meant and looked at Andorra.

"You stay and help defeat the minotaurs," she told Herman. He nodded and she and Samuel ran to Andorra. Herman turned around to see minotaurs surround him. I cannot defeat them all. He told himself. He held up his hands and stared at them.I need greater power.He thought of the woman who appeared to him and Danielle twice.

If you want to protect me, help me find these powers my father had that I may defeat them.He thought deeply and closed his eyes. He remembered the woman in his mind and suddenly felt power emerge into his hands. He opened his eyes and saw silver flames resting in his palms. He did not know what power this was, but he felt that it would help him.

He waved both of his hands and all of the sudden the minotaurs were lit up in silver fire.
***

Judas blocked every attack Andorra laid on him but he never fought back. She roared as she swiped her sword in his direction and he supressed every one.

"Please Andorra," he said. "You know you don't want to do this!" Andorra ignored him and knocked the sword from his hand.

"Remember the happy memories?" Still Andorra aimed to kill him but Seth interrupted them.

"Stop getting in my way!" she screamed.

Danielle ran to her father.

"Are you alright?" She exclaimed. He looked at her in shock.

"Danielle?" he asked. His eyes were watery from the tears that were gathering in his eyes. It made her want to cry as well.

"You are here," he said quietly. Danielle wanted to take him in her arms and hug him until the moon appeared in the night sky.

"I... am sorry, Danielle," he said. A tear slipped down her cheek.

"I was not strong enough to stop her." Danielle shook her head.

"No, you tried everything you could to stop her. She is just too powerful right now." Tears ran down her father's cheeks. Danielle watched Andorra and Seth fight.

"I will protect you now father. You protected me all my life. It is my turn to fight her." Steven stared at her in disbelief and she smiled at him.

"I won't die," she said. "Besides no Black Dragon has every been killed by a human or any other. Never."

***

"Andorra! Come down before you fall!" Judas yelled. She was standing on a branch high up in a tree picking a red apple off of another branch. Steven was also in the tree sitting on a lower branch beside Seth eating juicy, fresh picked apples.

"How come you always worry about her?" Seth asked. Green leaves were tangled within the strands of his blonde hair. He took a big bite out of his apple and chewed it.

"Well... because she is a girl and she could fall and hurt herself,"" Judas replied. He stood tall with his hands set firmly on his hips. He was fourteen now and already felt like a man.

"I just need to get this apple and then I will come down," Andorra said. She stretched her arm farther until her fingers barely touched the fruit. Judas watched nervously as her fingers fully wrapped around the apple. Then she jerked and the fruit broke free from the branch. Then she brought it closer to her chest and moved to a lower branch.

"Don't fall," Steven warned. Andorra rolled her eyes and stepped on the lower branch. When she glanced down at her apple, there were two tiny bugs roaming the surface of it. As she began to climb down to the next branch she screamed and lost her balance.

"Andorra!" Judas cried and ran to rescue her. He caught her but fell to the ground. Steven and Seth laughed at the position they were in. Andorra was sitting on top of Judas's stomach as he laid flat on his back. Andorra was gazing at him in surprise.

"Are you okay?" Judas asked with a small smile. Andorra nodded and smiled keeping her eyes locked on his. Then she got up and watched as he slowly got to his feet and brushed off the leaves that stuck to his back.

"Nice save," Seth told him. He finished his apple and threw the core into the grass.

"Oh no!" Steven exclaimed. "I forgot we have to go to our lessons!" He jumped off the branch with Seth and ran back to the castle. They were playing in the meadow behind the castle that had many fruit trees growing in it. Andorra stood next to Judas and hesitated.

"Do you have lessons too?" Judas asked. He hoped she did not.

"Yes... but I don't want to go," she replied.

"Why?" Andorra stared at the ground.

"Oh, it is nothing. I'll see you later." She handed her apple to him and ran through the grass away from him. She didn't want Judas to know she feared her father or any servant in the castle. She was afraid of what he would say and ask why. Andorra scrunched her eyes.

"He would never understand," she muttered.

Judas sat in the grass and rested his back against the tree trunk. The more time he came to see them the lesser time they played with each other.

"What is going to happen when we get older?" He said to himself and took a small bite out of the apple.

***

Seth bounded away from Andorra and hunched over his knees trying to catch his breath. His arms felt like they were going to fall off from hitting his sword with Andorra's and his skin was burning from the flames flares he felt as he got close to them.

"Andorra." They looked and saw Danielle. Andorra relaxed her arm that held her sword and the flames calmed down. They soon disappeared leaving the sword to be back to it's glowing red color.

"Fight me."

"I thought you wanted your normal body back. If I die, you will be like that forever," Andorra replied. Danielle looked at her father's weak figure and all the knights who were dead on the ground.

"If it means my kingdom and all whom I love will be destroyed, then I will stay like this forever if I have too." Andorra's eyes turned colder as they glared into hers.

"Such powerful words. How then, will we settle this?"

"Our magic." Andorra smiled.Then let us see what powerful magic you hold.She thought.This should be an interesting battle.

****

Ella stood poised on the balcony and gaped at the gray clouds. She gripped the cold railing with her hands and squeezed.

"Mother," she said.

"Did you know Father's sister?" She asked.

"No. After he was crowned king of Zilda, we met and fell in love. I never saw his sister at all because she was gone," Maralyn replied. "I never knew he had a sister until now." They were both quiet and their faces were pale from a dreaded feeling took over them.

"Ella," he mother said.

"Let us go inside because it is becoming cold out here." Ella nodded. She took her mother's hand and walked inside. Ella stood in the ballroom and waited for her mother to close and lock the glass door.

"Queen Maralyn!" A servant hustled into the ballroom.

"There are flying creatures heading toward the kingdom," he said. Maralyn and Ella followed the servant through the castle halls and then walked outside. They looked and far away were about five flying creatures heading toward Zilda.

"Where is Cynric? We need him to gather his knights and help protect the city!" Maralyn exclaimed.

"I will fetch him right now!" The servant replied and ran to the knights dorms.

"Wait for me!" Ella cried running after him. They entered the dorms, and in a brig room, Cynric sat with other knights at a big round table eating lots of food.

"Cynric!" Ella called. Cynric turned his head and looked at her in concern.

"Yes?"

"We need your help to protect the village. Come flying creatures are heading our way." Immediatly, Cynric put his food on the table.

"Come on," he told his knights. Ella and the servant moved out of the door way to let them through so they could hurriedly put on their armor and gather their weapons. They waited outside for the knights to come out.

"There they are," Ella told Cynric as he walked out with the rest of his mean and looked to the sky as well.

"Wyverns. Extremely dangerous," he said. Ella turned to face him.

"Be careful." He nodded looking into her crystal brown eyes.

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you or the people," he said. Ella smiled.

"Thank you so-." Suddenly Cynric bent his head and brushed her lips with his.

"That is just in case I do not come back." Ella stared at him in shock as he climbed on his horse and rode out of the gate with his knights.

"Oh dear," Maralyn quietly spoke as she stood beside her daughter.

"What are those?" Sarah and Sillia exclaimed as they ran out of the castle with their golden hair bounding up and down against their backs. They had come to Zilda with Cynric so they could see Ella again.

"They are wyverns and I think they mean trouble," Ella replied.

"Look! More are coming! But they are so much bigger and darker!" Sillia cried. Ella did see two more creatures appear in the distance behind the wyverns.

"They... do not look like wyverns to me," she said.

Comments & reviews · 3

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hi Sarah

Even though this scene is supposed to be full of action (which it is) You don't make it full of drama or too fast paced. But somehow you manage to fit in romance, history and good fighting into it as well! Good job on cramming that all in without making the reader feel too overwhelmed!

One mistake that I've seen a lot in your writing of previous chapters as well, is when you use the word "sigh" and you mean sign. A small mistake but hopefully it can be corrected so you don't keep on repeating it...

Another thing is that during the battle, Herman acquires his magic. Good. But it wasn't done in a very spontaneous manner, almost like it didn't matter much. I mean, really, I liked how he summoned the power and the protectors help. But then he "flapped his hands around" and the silver light killed his opponents. Flapping your hands around isn't that flattering. Maybe he raised his hands and meltingly hot white lava exploded onto his opponents chest or something. Again, this relates to detail. Embellish it a little! I crave these vivid images which will make me squeal as I read :P

Loving the love between Ella and Cyrnic. This just complicates all the love problems going on here already. You've done a good job of creating an enemy, and using fantasy, and romance, and family/appearance problems all in one story. Dealing with a lot themes there ^^ I wonder how it'll all play out at the end. On to more chapters!

Deanie x

User avatar
umaima
Review
umaima wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hey there :D

Umaima for a quick review!

I loved your writing style, it was just amazing and how you described things and the way you ended the story, it was just amazing! and wonderful. :D Well because I don't have much time I am going to go straight to the plot and how I felt about it. Truthfully I thought it was nice, I have read a lot of stories and it was fun reading this type too. Then again there were some errors but I am sure if you re read your story you will be able to get them. No nitpicking done in this review. I won't be much of a critique as I don't really prefer that so hope you find this helpful.

:D PS overall it was very nice!

Random avatar
arianaSarroyo
Review
arianaSarroyo wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2013

Hi there. Ariana here with your review. I have to say, you are off to a good start. But there were a few errors here, mainly puntuation, spacing and grammar. To begin, you said, "complete dreaded darkness". The* "C" in complete should be capitalized. Also, any where should not be two words. Also, when you talk about something being unleashed, the "U" should not be capitalized. In addition, you have some words that are not spaced and words that are not capitalized.

Nevertheless, you do have words and phrases that are not capitalized, and there is a period missing somewhere in the beginning. In addition, you said the following, "his eyes were becoming warering because of the tears in his eyes". You did not need to say "the tears in his eyes" if you were already talking about his eyes.

We will fight with you against Andorra. This is also part of the prophecy.The black dragons will help bring peace to the world once they are unleashed." Danielle opened her mouth to reply but closed it. She didn't know what to say and Herman's eyes were filled with unbelief.Andorra will not be pleased at all. He thought.

There should be a space between prophecy and "the". Also "unbelief' should be replaced with disbelief.

And there should be a space between 'unbelief" and Andorra.



"Isn't it shocking? An army of Black Dragons to once again rein free in this world after 400 years. (This is the incorrect spelling of reign. It should say "reign". And I will be in control of them." He gaped in horror at her. He couldn't believe some one (someone is one word) with so much hatred and revenge would do this.
Everyone in the world could be destroyed and that would be the end of all human life.


Other than that, I couldn't put my hand on any other blatant errors. My only suggestion is to be vigilant about the spacing as you did have some spacing errors. And do add punctuation to your list of things to look out for.
Also, I'm sorry this review was so long. You are off to a great start. Just fix those errors and keep up the good work.



i got called an enigma once so now i purposefully act obtuse
— chikara