E - Everyone

The Last Days Chapter One Part 3: Decision

Silvernist was sent back to her room after training a bit more with Aviel. She sat on her bed staring out into the night and then jumped when there was a knock at her door.


"Supper," a maid called.

"Come in," Silvernist replied. Her stomach growled. She was starving! The plump maid walked in holding a tray with cooked chicken and bread with also a glass of warm water. Silvernist ate speedily not noticing the maid watching her. She slowed down and met the maid’s eyes.

"Is there something else you want?" Silvernist asked starting to feel uncomfortable.

"He gave one of those to you too." Silvernist tried to figure out what the lady was speaking about. She looked more closely at her. The maid had short poofy brown hair and big blue eyes. She noticed a long scar running along her cheekbone.

"Oh." The woman nodded.

"Aviel became angry with me making a small mistake. So he gave me this." The maid replied. Silvernist touched her own cheek softly. She felt the blade's touch where it got her. The bleeding had stopped but it dried and there was now a red lumpy scab.

"So-- how is Aviel going to destroy-."

"Zilda and Zelda?" The maid cut in. "He wants you to retrieve a black opal from the Volcano of Synra."

"Black opal?"

"The black opal is a very powerful stone that can destroy any magic whether it be good or evil. If Aviel gets his hands on it, this whole world is doomed." They stared at each other for a moment.

“So then why does he need me?” She questioned.

“He needs you to retrieve the opal for him since you’re the only one the silver dragon will hand the opal over to. I overheard him speaking to himself earlier about this.” Silvernist thought for a moment. Why did she have to get caught up in Aviel’s evil plans? To destroy the world? Silvernist continued eating and when she finished the maid took it away and left. The girl sat in the dark before lying in bed.

It felt different to be sleeping in a different place, especially in a place she was afraid of and full of people she didn't know. She closed her eyes and thoughts came into her mind. Would she really help Aviel? She shook her head. No... I won't. She thought.

Her eyes closed and she slept.
***

Aviel's plan was working out fine. He just hoped the little girl would cooperate with him. After testing her magic, he'd send her on her journey to the Valcano of Synra. Aviel knew it would be a dangerous journey for a girl who was twelve but he had a group of soldiers that would go with her. Aviel gazed out an arched window and stared out into the night. Then something hit him. He had no map and that meant he had no idea where the Volcano of Synra was located. There was one map that was locked away for generations that held the location for the Black Opal. It was hidden in the Kingdom of Zilda. Forever forgotten and preventing it from falling into the wrong hands. Aviel became deep in thought. Somehow he would have to retrieve the map…

***

That night Silvernist dreamed.


A beautiful woman with long wavy red hair and deep blue eyes was being led by two guards to a large gallow where a long rope hung down with a loop at the bottom. The woman stood in front of it with her hands tied behind her back. Her face was sad, and her eyes full of sorrow. A knight then took the rope and looped it around the woman's slender neck. It suddenly showed the soldier's gloved hand on a wooden lever and he pulled it.

Silvernist woke, sweating. In the dream she had no idea who the woman was. But she certainly knew what was happening. It was just a dream… she thought. Silvernist slumped onto her bed. Her head was spinning. The scene where the soldier pulled the lever appeared in her mind and again and she shook her head. She closed her eyes and eventually forgot the dream and slipped into a deep sleep once again.

***

The next morning came and a part of Silvernist was that she was actually excited for this training but she reminded herself she wouldn’t help Aviel. She knew that what he was planning would only bring the world to destruction and sadness to himself. Although she came to Aviel, she learned a part of who she was. A Silver Witch. A girl with magical powers. When she went to train with Aviel, he told her that she would practice going invisible which was one of her powers.

As they stood there in the middle of the chamber, Silvernist's eyes were shut tight. She imagined of all her bones, flesh, and skin disappearing. Suddenly the same cold feeling rushed through her body and when she opened one eye, she saw Aviel's eyes wandering. Was she invisible? She looked down at herself but couldn't find her body. She held her hands in front of her face and she couldn't see them. She was invisible.

"Sire," she said. Aviel turned to her direction. "It worked." Silvernist made herself turn back.

"This power will be a great strength for both of us to retrieve the black opal so let's see what else you can do.” Silvernist dropped her eyes. Still, she couldn't help this wizard.

"I can't. I can’t help you." Aviel swirled around.

"You can't say that. I need that map and that opal." No, you want it. Silvernist thought. He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I’ve seen your past. Help me and we both could conquer this world together." Silvernist looked into his eyes but looked away. "I’ve seen your past…" She was not sure how he knew and his words of conquering the world together repeated in her mind. I’ll have to run away… she thought to herself as Aviel read from the same large book as he was yesterday the day before.

"Acid orb, The ability to generate an acid ball," Aviel told told Silvernist. She thought. Generate acid? An acid ball? Silvernist walked a ways from the wizard and closed her eyes. She put her hands in front of her, rounded them so they formed a bowl like structure and she whispered,

"Acid orb." She spoke and felt a cool feeling run throughout her body. Then she opened her eyes halfway to find a shimmering, silver ball floating in her hands. It was captivating for both of them to watch the liquidly surface of the orb ripple and rotated around about while it gave off a small amount of light. She felt like she was beginning to take control of it but she gasped when it flew out of her hands and crashed into Aviel's table causing a blinding light appear and the books to fly off and fall onto the floor.

Silvernist shielded her eyes against the light and when she opened them, she saw a puddle of silver sizzling liquid. She glanced at Aviel and saw him staring at it in awe. She was in trouble.

"Sire! I didn't mean t-." Aviel walked over to the puddle and stared down at it. Then he turned back to Silvernist and exclaimed,

"No, no it’s fine…. This is amazing! Your magic is wondrous! Soon I will be unbeatable!" Silvernist watched Aviel walked toward her and rest his hand on her shoulder. She looked up into his dark brown eyes. She could tell by them that Aviel was serious about achieving the black opal and using it to attack Zilda and Zelda.

"We will be the most powerful beings in the world... Silvernist," he said to her. They stared at each other for a moment and Aviel moved his hand from her shoulder.

"Let's continue," he told her.

A few days later after more of her training, Aviel told her she was ready to begin the mission.

Silvernist wanted to blurt out that she refused to do whatever he said but he wouldn't listen. He'd probably hurt her again. He said she was the only one who could hold the black opal. No one else could. He needed her. But she didn't want to. She had no desire to attack kingdoms and cause hurt to other innocent people while her life was very much worse.

After training all day, Aviel sent her to her room. Silvernist quietly crept through the dark halls made it to the stairs that went way up to the top floor. She was excited about her magical powers; she just didn't like the fact that she'd be helping darkness. A memory came into her mind while her feet patted the stone steps. It was with her and her grandmother; she was seven at the time. Her grandmother, Alice, was telling her the story of Danielle.

"... the mighty dragon Danielle once and for all defeated the evil witch Andorra." SIlvernist, her head in her grandmother's lap smiled but then it changed to a strong, brave looking expression.

"I would never have worked for that witch. I'd destroy evil wherever I go." Alice, chuckled weakly and said,

"You do that child."

Silvernist wiped a tear from her cheek and climbed faster up the staircase. Now she would be forced to help evil.

Silvernist shut her bedroom behind her stood there still for a moment looking around her dark room. Then she walked over to her dresser and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her silver hair was tangled and her cut was very noticeable along her jaw. She stepped closer and touched the cut Aviel gave her. It was now turning into a scar.

Silernist collapsed on her bed. She was wide awake at the moment thinking of Aviel and his wicked plan. She couldn't do it. She couldn't, just couldn't. She lay there for a while until darkness clouded her.

An idea popped into her head and she sat up. She knew what she had to do. She would run away and tell the King of Zilda about Aviel and his plans.

Silvernist stood up from lying in her bed and tied her cloak around her feeling warmer inside it and walked out of her room and down the stairs cautiously until she came to the bottom and tiptoed down the hall to Aviel’s chamber. She peaked through the door to see if Aviel was still in there and luckily he was not. Then she entered slowly carefully closing the door behind her. She found Aviel’s spell book on the chair and walked over to it and picked it up with both hands.

“I’ll need this to train a little more.” She said to herself.

She started to walk out before a glint caught her eye. She turned to see what it was. A sword and a curved dagger hung on the wall. She walked over to them and touched them with her fingers. She gazed at the sword; its long silver blade was cold at her touch. Her eyes moved slowly up the blade until they rested upon the golden hilt. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. Its hilt was not anything like she had seen before. The hilt was curved outward and was like a blade itself for if someone tried to hold it, it would for sure cut their hand. Her hand moved upward and she touched the hilt. Surprisingly, it began to glow a bright red lighting up half of the chamber.

She continued touching the hilt, gazing at it in wonder and felt tempted the grip the hilt and hold it. But if she did, then she would get cut by the hilt’s sharpness. She lifted her hand and curved it so it was barely inches from the hilt’s surface. Suddenly the red's glow increased and some of it snaked through the air and surrounded her hand, urging it forward to grab it. She gripped it and lifted it off of wall the wall and gasped. She was not harmed by the sword’s hilt at all. She was even comfortable holding it. A wave of warmth swept over her and she smiled. It was almost as if the sword had chosen her to hold it.

Silvernist decided she would take the weapons with her and attached them to her belt. The sword stopped glowing once she stopped touching it. The dagger though was the same as any other dagger would be. Once she finished attaching them to her belt, she walked out of the chamber. They would be useful on her way to Zilda.

Right when she walked out the door, lighting and thunder crashed but Silvernist ignored it. Using her invisibility, she traveled the halls.. She wandered the castle feeling lost until she found the door to the outside in which she entered before. Once she stepped out, a stinging, cold rain drop hit her skin.

Silvernist looked around and then moved toward the gate not caring about how the heavy the rain was and how soaked her dress would be. Since she was invisible, she walked right past the guards who stood at the gates, guarding them in case any intruders were to enter. Silvernist looked back, relieved to be out of the necropolis.

The thought that troubled her was how she would to get to Zilda. She knew it was beyond the forest and the opposite of where she came from the village so hopefully she could find her way there. She would have to cross through the Enigma Mountains and the forests beyond. She stood outside the gate and looked at the dark, large, rigid shapes in the distance that were almost hidden from the rain.

Silvernist took a large breath and released it. Then she held her chin high and began walking toward the mountains.

***

The next day Aviel discovered Silvernist's disapearance and he stood in his chamber and growled as he glared at the bare wall that was supposed to hold his sword and dagger. His special sword! How could she have taken it? It was one thing he did not want to lose. Aviel called for his knights and they burst into the room. One of them, the main leader of the group stood before him.

"I want you to find Silvernist and bring her back to me," He ordered. The leader nodded and he turned and led the soldiers out of the chamber. Aviel watched them with narrowed eyes. He would find that silver witch. Whatever the cost.

***

Silvernist traveled for about two days, being only twelve years old, it was luck that she survived so far. Her legs ached as she climbed up and down the steep mountains. One time, rocks beneath her rolled and she almost fell along with them. At least she caught herself and didn't go plundering into the sharp rocks below.

Being tired of heat and exhaustion she went on constantly stopping for water and rest. She knew Aviel would look for her but she didn’t think too much about it. She could probably get rid of his knights one by one with her magic. Most of the time, she just kept her mind on warning the king. After a week, she came to the woods. Armed with a sword and dagger she felt protected. If any wild, ferocious creatures approached her, she would be able to protect herself.

Silvernist strolled nervously through the forest. Along the way, she saw a bear feeding on a poor unicorn and held back a screech. Silvernist kept back, hiding in a large bush, until the bear left. Later, when it started to rain, she found a cave and built a small fire. She slept there until morning and then hunted for any poor helpless creatures that would be easy to catch and eat. The ground was muddy below her when she walked and she growled when her foot got stuck in a big puddle of mud.

"Ah! How unlucky..." She exclaimed. Within minutes, Silvernist managed to get out of the mud and continued her journey. A few days later, she found herself staring at the tree tops and saw a white tower poking out from behind them. She made her way through some bushes and trees and gasped. Before her was the beautiful kingdom of Zilda.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Mon Nov 25, 2013 9:24 pm

Hello again Sarah ^^ Here to get reviewing the next chapter!

Agh, some parts of this chapter were just so wonderful! I especially loved the really descriptive scene you wrote where she is touching the sword for the first time and it seemingly "chose her". It sounds like something that comes from a publish book! :D

next morning came and a part of Silvernist was that she was actually excited for this training


I see what you mean here. After the Silvernist you should cut out the words "was that she" so the sentence actually makes sense.

I had quite a few questions while reading this. It wasn't big questions because you managed to answer all of those, but more so things to do with realism and common sense, as well as just small details which could be added. Let's start with a detail... Are there any consequences to using magic other than it possibly going wrong? Does it drain the energy, make you thirsty faster, make you sweat or something? I feel like such magic should have it's drawbacks, and it would explain why Magicians just don't go around using up all their magic often.

Another question of mine was, why didn't Silvernist use magic to escape before. The book was there and she already knew she could do it. If she really hated Aviel, why would she even hang around? You need to either give her a reason for sticking around, or she should've been long gone by now.

More details! Surely, there must of been a teleporting spell in the book she has of spells somewhere. Or how to get full sleep without sleeping, making food quickly or something. These are vitals document we should take heed of during travel. But really - why didn't she look for a teleporting spell or travel spell of some kind? Surely there must be a teleporting spell. I mean, at least look before taking the long journey.

When Aviel comes downstairs, he immediately notices that the sword and dagger or gone. Doesn't he notice that his biggest book of spells which he absolutely needs is missing?

Although she came to Aviel, she learned a part of who she was. A Silver Witch


Awkward punctuation. My advice: Although when she came to Aviel, she learned about a part of who she was. She was a Silver Witch.

That pretty much sums up all I have to say! Please continue contacting me whenever you post up the next chaper! Bye!

Deanie x

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AfterTheStorm
Review

Hey, Sarah! The name is After the Storm (but you can call me Storm), and I'll be reviewing for you this afternoon. :D

I have a few quick tips concerning your chapter that will hopefully assist the story's improvement...

1. Stay away from stating the obvious! Repeatedly, you fall into this trap by writing something along the lines of, "Her stomach growled. She was starving!" Haha Well, no kidding! If a person's stomach growls violently, that typically signifies that they are in need of nourishment. Or: "Once she stepped out, a stinging, cold rain drop hit her skin. It was raining." The reader is not an idiot; they know that if water falls from the sky onto Silvernist's skin, it is raining.

2. Switch up your sentence structure. I noticed that you consistently write basic sentences such as, "Silvernist tried to figure out what the lady was speaking about. She looked more closely at her. The maid had short poofy brown hair and big blue eyes. She noticed a long scar running along her cheekbone." Do not misinterpret what I am saying here because simple is great at times, but when it is overdone it seems to reflect an elementary capability of writing. I know you can do better! :D

3. The scenes continue to shift around very quickly, so the chapter doesn't feel very connected. It's choppy, sliced and diced. Try slowing the pace down some, focusing more in on important or exciting events like when Silvernist treks the mountain.

4. Some sections in this chapter are highly unrealistic, like this: "'A magical sword?' She asked out loud and continued touching the hilt. She continued gazing at it in wonder and felt tempted the grip the hilt and hold it. But if she did, then she would get cut by the hilt’s sharpness. Just hold it. She thought. See what happens." If you walked up to a sword that looks potentially dangerous and deadly sharp, would you wrap your hand around it to "see what happens"? No! O_O Also, how on Earth is a twelve year-old going to travel far away across mountains and plains through a raging storm without provisions or a mode of transportation like a horse? Do you understand what I mean by the reality of these situations? :) Just keep that in mind.

5. "Silvernist stood up from lying in her bed and tied her cloak around her feeling warmer inside it and walked out of her room and down the stairs cautiously until she came to the bottom and tiptoed down the hall to Aviel’s chamber where she sneaked in slowly in case he was in there." Whoa, there! Hold your horses! This is one major run-on sentence that needs to be broken down. Definitely check that out.

6. There are many insignificant details that you seem to mention, instead of focusing on main points. Near the end, you talk about a mud puddle for a bit, even though more pressing issues are at hand.

That sums up these quick tips for you, Sarah! :D I sincerely hope these help you move throughout this story, so as always: Write on!

---Stormsie

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MarySue
Review
MarySue wrote a review · Sat Nov 23, 2013 1:40 am

Though your sentence structure is good, and there aren't any grammatical or spelling errors, the sentences seem a wee bit choppy, so I'd recommend making a few longer ones.

That's all I can find to really pick at though, absolutely love this story! It's so well written, and interesting! I look forward to more!

Thanks for the review! :)



It's crazy how your life can be twisted upside down inside out and around and you can get sushi from safeway still looking like a normal person
— starchild314