CHAPTER ONE
Princess Danielle woke up from a peaceful dream to see the golden sun shining brightly through her window. She sat up excitedly. She joy filled her soul for her father, King Steven, would be returning home from a four day journey. He had gone to Risenife; a faraway kingdom to sign a peace treaty. She was sad to have him leave but it was for the kingdom's own good will. There will hopefully be no war. Danielle hated war and wished there would be none in the future.
The princess jumped out of bed and raced to her wardrobe. She carelessly pulled out a light blue dress and slipped it on. She had to be the first one to welcome her father's return. She loved him so much it felt like he was gone for a year.
Danielle yanked her door open but bumped into her maid. The maid looked at her in surprise.
"Princess!" She exclaimed. "You’re dressed!" She glanced down at herself and shrugged. Then she shouldered passed her maid and jogged down the hall.
"Uh- Princess!" The maid called after her. "What about your shoes?" Danielle didn't bother to turn around. She carefully stepped down the glossy stairs. The king would be arriving soon and she would be the first to greet him.
The castle doors opened smoothly and Danielle ran outside to see a group of soldiers on horses heading her way. She was sure it was her father arriving with her brother, Adrian. The figures in the distance got closer and soon stopped in front of the princess.
"Father!" She exclaimed and the tall, dark haired, broad shouldered man slipped from his horse and went to gather her frail figure up in his arms. She hugged him back tightly but released him. She turned to her brother and Adrian chuckled as Danielle flung her arms around his neck and hugged him also.
"I missed you two!" Danielle exclaimed finally releasing Adrian and gazing into all their faces. Queen Maralyn and her other daughter, Ella came up to them and embraced them as well.
"Danielle! Where are your shoes?" Ella asked her little sister sternly.
"Oh, uh.." She giggled shifting on one leg.
"Steven, it's nice to have you home again," Maralyn said hugging her husband. "How was the journey? Is it done?" Steven nodded.
"The peace treaty is all sighed, so there will peace between us and Risenife." Danielle grabbed her father's arm.
"May we celebrate?" She asked cheerfully. Steven smiled at her and nodded.
That night, after the family had a little celebration, Danielle and her sister sat in Danielle's room chatting with each other. Ella brushed her long, silky, black hair while they talked of the dinner party they enjoyed so much that night. Danielle looked at herself and Ella in the mirror. They looked very much alike except for their color of hair. Ella's was a dark brown which went excellently with her eyes. Danielle's eyes were a light emerald green which made them stand out often.
"Oh I'm so happy father's home," Danielle said.
"Me too," Ella replied smiling as her brush ran through the strands of her hair. Danielle's smile vanished suddenly.
"But when father leaves, I feel so worried about him. Like he will be gone and never come back." Ella finished stroking her hair.
"Don't worry Danielle. Father can take care of himself. Remember that time when Father went riding alone? Mother insisted he take someone with him but he wouldn't listen. That night, he didn't come back until midnight and we found him covered in leaves and thorns! He said he fell off his horse and got a concussion."
"I was crying that whole night waiting for him," Danielle replied. Their frowns turned into smiles and they began laughing.
"It was pretty funny, seeing him all muddy and dirty when the soldiers brought him into the castle." They laughed harder until they ran out of laughs. Ella began to brush her hair again. They were quiet for a moment until Ella brought up another topic.
"Do you remember Prince Samuel?" She questioned in a daze.
"Samuel?"
"Yes. We met him at the spring ball a year ago." Danielle stared at herself in the mirror trying to figure who she was talking about. She went through her past memories of people until one young man in particular appeared in her mind.
"Oh, him! What about him?" Danielle asked.
"I miss him." Danielle snorted.
"You miss him?"
"Yes I do!" Ella replied a bit harshly.
"Why?"
"Well, I think I'm in love with him." This time Danielle laughed but stopped when she saw the serious expression on her sister's face.
"You only danced with him that one night and it has been months! How could you still be in love?"
"I believe in love at first sight." Ella's mouth curved into a little smile. "And I still am in love. I really hope we see him at the ball coming up in a few weeks from now." They both were silent as they stared into the mirror. Danielle did not understand what this kind of love felt like but one thing she thought of was it seemed like it was childish.
"I think we better sleep now," Ella suggested. Danielle nodded, got up and they went their separate ways.
***
Samuel's feet crunched the leaves below him as he crouched through the bushes, his eyes capturing the perfect picture of a deer that grazed in a large beautiful clearing. His father crouched beside him and nodded. Samuel clutched his bow tightly and lifted it in front of his face. He slipped an arrow through and pulled back. Closing one eye, he aimed it at the deer's body. Then he let go and the arrow zipped through the trees and plunged into the animal's flesh causing it to collapse dead.
"Well done!" His father exclaimed patting his son's back. Samuel smiled. This wasn't the only time he shot down an animal. He'd gone hunting many times before and had gotten better at it.
They stood up and walked over to the deer that lay motionless before them.
"I will never miss," Samuel spoke with pride. King Seth kneeled beside the dear.
"Of course, son. You are already becoming a master hunter like your father." Grinning, Samuel helped him heave the deer onto the horse. Before they could climb onto their own, a loud shriek filled their ears. Samuel glanced at his father who was looking back to way they came from.
"Who was that?" Samuel asked nervously. They heard it again and this time the king unexpectedly ran back into the trees.
"Father!" Samuel yelled and chased after him. Both of them went deeper into the woods following the sounds of men yelling. They stopped, seeing a group of bandits stalking a worn out figure who looked to be a poor woman.
"Hey!" Samuel yelled at them. "Leave her alone!" The bandits turned to them. They began to laugh wickedly and one of them began making his way toward them. He wore a black mask that covered his mouth and nose leaving his piercing grey eyes to glare heavily at them.
"What makes you think you can tell me what to do?" he snarled. King Seth stepped forward and unsheathed his sword.
"If you leave her alone I won't have you arrested."
"Hey boss, its King Seth," one of the bandits spoke. The boss seemed to hesitate and it took him along time to reply. His eyes bore into the kings and he growled.
"Fine." He turned to his group. "Let's leave this place." Soon, the bandits left and Samuel found himself staring at the woman who sat on the ground staring at them.
"Are you alright?" Seth asked kneeling on one leg in front of the woman. Her hair was a total mess and her face was covered in dirt. Green eyes shined from under the dirt, splattered upon her cheeks. She nodded and Samuel helped her stand. He could tell she was scrawny and thin and she must have not eaten for days. Her eyes were cast down.
"Can we do anything for you?" King Seth questioned. Her eyes met his.
"No," she snapped. Samuel flinched. They saved her life and now she was acting rude.
"Are you sure?" Seth continued. He's being too soft. Samuel thought. His father had always been a kind, soft hearted man in which the people in their kingdom grew to love and respect him. But sometimes he could be too nice.
"Yes, now leave me," the woman replied. Seth turned and Samuel followed him away from the woman. When Samuel looked back, the woman had vanished.
***
Ella's face was practically compressed against the window and she waited for any sigh of a fancy carriage to arrive outside their castle. The royal family from Zelda was coming.
Danielle eyed her in boredom.
" Ella!" she exclaimed. "How long will you stand there?"
"I'm just excited to see Samuel, that’s all," Ella replied cheerfully. Danielle rolled her eyes. All this talk of Samuel drove made her mind spin. Was this part of being in love? She leaned her head against the back of the sofa with her eyes closed. Right now, all she yearned for was a peaceful rest from staying up too late from the other night. All was quiet for a moment until Ella shrieked causing Danielle to lift her head frantically.
"They are here!" Ella picked up her skirts and speed walked out of the room.
"Wait for me!" Danielle called after her. The two princesses made their way to the grand hall. It was a large, beautiful room with a burnished, golden floor and scarlet drapes hung beside the windows letting light shine through.
King Steven and Queen Maralyn stood in the middle of the room talking to their guests. Steven noticed his two daughters and held out his arm motioning for them to stand by him.
"You must remember my daughters Princess Ella and Princess Danielle." Queen Isabel of Zelda smiled at them.
"You both have grown beautiful this past year," she spoke kindly to them. Danielle gazed at her. The queen was ravishing and her blue, glossy eyes were full of kindness as she smiled at her. King Seth took their hands and kissed them softly. Danielle blushed and looked away. She glanced at Ella, but she could see that she was gazing a light haired young man who spoke with Adrian. Ella went over to him.
Out of the corner of his eye, Samuel saw Princess Ella coming over to him. He turned from Adrian to greet her.
"Hello, Ella," he said. Ella smiled at him showing beautiful white teeth.
"Hello," she replied.
"It's been a while."
"Only a year," Samuel said.
"Ella!" Her other sister rushed to them and grabbed her arm.
"A wonderful lunch has been made. Let’s eat!" Ella looked at Samuel.
"Just a minute, Greet Prince Samuel." Danielle stared at him, her eyes showing she wasn't interested.
"Hello.” She said. Samuel was about to reply but she turned back to Ella. “Yeah, okay, now let's eat." Danielle pulled her away. Samuel watched them leave the room.
Samuel's stomach was full by the time everyone finished eating. His sisters, Sariah and Sillia completed eating the remaining food on their plates. Samuel caught a glimpse of a servant placing more salad on Danielle's plate, her face full of happiness. What a pig! He thought.
His eyes moved to the spot next to her. Ella wasn't there. He stood up but his father's voice stopped him.
"Samuel, where are you going?" He questioned. Samuel turned to see everyone staring at him. Danielle watched him warily as if he had committed a crime.
"I was going out for fresh air," he replied.
"Alright, but be sure to come back soon so you can be escorted to your chamber before nightfall." Samuel nodded and Seth continued his conversation with King Steven. He let out a breath that he held back. Then he walked out of the dining room with Danielle's glare stalking him until he had disappeared.
Samuel walked through the halls searching for Ella. The castle was beautiful. The rooms were elegant and the floors shined for he could see his own shadow.
There was no sign of Ella anywhere until he came upon an arched doorway leading to the garden. He stepped out onto a path that led into a large garden surrounded by many bushes of red and white roses. A wonderful scent filled his nostrils as he sniffed the cool, pure air.
"Samuel." He opened his eyes to see Ella standing beside a rose bush. He went to her as she bent to sniff one of the red ones. She was very beautiful around flowers.
"You will have to ask me to dance the night of the ball," she said. He took her hand in his.
"I will make sure of that," he replied. They gazed into each other's eyes. Then Ella turned sideways and slipped her arm through his. They began to walk along the paths that lead further into the garden.
"Isn't it a lovely day?" She asked, watching butterflies and hummingbirds swarm the flowers.
"Yes," the prince answered. The sky was light blue with birds gliding swiftly across and the sun lit the world with warmth and brilliant light.
“I can’t imagine anyone who would want to destroy it,” Ella added. Samuel glanced at her.
“I’m sure there are others who feel the same way you do.” Ella smiled at him.
“You know,” she started, “I like you.” Samuel felt his cheeks redden. He felt the same way also. Suddenly, Ella reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek while he stood there like a statue unsure of what was happening at that moment.
“Ella!” Danielle’s voice appeared. They parted.
“Mother wants to see you!”
“I have to go,” Ella whispered and she went back down the path. Samuel, annoyed with being interrupted by Ella’s sister, followed her too. Once he was no longer in the garden, he looked ahead of him to see Danielle and Ella walking away.
Danielle looked over her shoulder and glared at him. They held eye contact until Samuel looked away. He had a feeling she disliked him. A lot.
***
"Dear," Queen Maralyn said.
"Yes?" King Steven replied taking his cape and attaching it around his neck.
"I'm going to the ball now. "
"Alright, I will meet you down there." She opened their door and walked out wearing a light blue dress.
The king finished with his cape and then set his crown firmly on top of his head. He stared at himself in the mirror.
"You look so handsome Steven." A woman's voice apeared behind him. Steven whirled around to see his long forgotten sister, Andorra. He backed away while grabbing a sword that hung on his wall.
"Come now brother, do not be afraid," she said with a smirk.
"I'm not afraid," he snapped. Andorra stepped forward and touch the blade.
"I have not come to hurt you." Steven eyed her cautiously while lowering his weapon.
"What do you want?"
"I've come to warn you."
"About what?"
"Give up the throne."
"I will not!" Steven exclaimed.
"Are you sure about that?"
"I will never let you rule this kingdom! Ever!" The witches’ eyes narrowed.
"Fine, then. Have it your way." Andorra's body began to fade.
"But you will regret ever becoming king." Her voice echoed in his head as his eyes lingered into the space where she had disappeared. Ever since Andorra left the kingdom, she was never spoken again by anyone their parents had died a few years later leaving him to be the only member of the royal family alive. No one remembered her except him. Her note and every memory he had with her when they were younger. It horrified him to know that Andorra might try to rid him somehow or worse, harm his kingdom. I cannot let that happen. He thought.
***
"You look beautiful Danielle," Ella said.
"Not as much as you though." Danielle replied with a faint blush on her cheeks. The princesses gazed into the mirror at their reflections. Danielle wore a long, silky, white dress with golden lacing outlining the neck and bottom of the skirt. Ella's dress was dark red with white swirls along the waist. Both of their hair was curled and put into a high pony tail leaving strands hanging on the sides of their faces.
Danielle's eyes glinted in pleasure.
"Oh, I hope Samuel will like it," Ella said in a dreamy voice.
"I'm sure he will," Danielle replied. But she didn't mean it. Samuel kept Ella away from her these past few days. Now she was spending her time alone and all of her cheerfulness seemed to vanish.
"We should go," she added and walked out of the room. Ella trailed behind.
"Is anything wrong?" She asked.
"No," Danielle lied. They entered a great ball room and saw figures moving below. Sweet music filled their ears and many tables were set full of food.
"Now , pronouncing Princess Ella and Princess Danielle." A little man stood near them holding a paper in front of his face.
Everyone below turned to them and they began to walk down the steps in an elegant matter. Prince Samuel was waiting for them until they reached the last step. He was wearing a black uniform and his hair was combed back with a small strand of hair hanging in front of his forehead. Danielle actually thought he looked quite handsome. Although she considered him terribly annoying.
"Hello princess," he said and bowed. She noticed he was speaking to Ella. Then he reached inside his uniform and pulled out a red rose. Ella took it.
He seemed not to notice Danielle and led her sister into the crowd of dancing couples. How rude! She thought; leaving me here to stand alone. She looked around and noticed Adrian and her mother standing next to each other. She started towards them but struggled to get through the crowd of people.
"Excuse me," she said and people moved out of her way saying "Sorry princess!" She ignored them and finally reached to the spot where her mother stood.
"Mother!" she exclaimed; But all she saw was an old woman standing there eating a piece of cake. Her back was arched and her hands shook a little as her fork picked up the cake. The woman stared at her.
"Oh, um, sorry," Danielle said awkwardly.
The old woman turned and walked away. Where did Adrian and mother go? They must be dancing. Danielle thought.
Alone and embarrassed, she stood there and watched her sister and Samuel glide across the floor in each other’s arms. A flicker of jealousy flared inside of her. Ella had someone but who did she have? She began to feel completely uncomfortable and came to a large curtain behind one of the dessert tables and parted it. A glass door was there, hidden from anyone’s view.
She opened the door quickly and stepped out onto a large balcony. A small, cool breeze brushed by her as she closed the door behind her. She stood at the edge of the balcony with her hands gripping the railing. The balcony overlooked a massive forest that stretched far beyond. Danielle had never stepped one foot in the woods for her father forbid it. He warned her there were bandits, dangerous creatures and wicked witches who lived there.
Her eyes moved to the moon that glowed brightly. She admired the moon so much it was her favorite thing to look at during the night.
She was trapped in a trance until a childish laugh interrupted her thoughts.
Danielle looked over the balcony to see a tiny figure moving below. She realized it was a little girl twirling in circles all across the lawn. She shouldn't be down there near the forest. Danielle thought.
"Little girl!" She called. The girl stopped dancing and a small, pale face looked up at her. Green, piercing eyes that bounced off the moon peered into hers. Danielle felt Goosebumps grow on her skin and a chill went down her spine.
"Who are you?" she asked. Just then, the girl sprinted into the trees.
"Hey! Don't go in there!" Danielle scrambled down a staircase that connected from the balcony to below. She found herself staring into the dark, unknown trees. The girl could get hurt. She reminded herself. He took a deep breath and then released it and forced herself to take a step into the dark forest. She began to run, nervously glancing at all the trees around her. Her feet pounded the forest ground as she ran after the girl and her breath became heavy as she moved swiftly through the bushes and branches.
"Wait!' She cried.
"Where are you going? Come back!" She followed the sounds of the girl but they vanished suddenly.
"Little girl?" Danielle stopped in her tracks and glanced all around her. Being cacutious, stepped through a group of trees that blocked her view. There, she saw a tall, thin figure standing before her.
Danielle gasped in fright for she recognized the emerald, green eyes and the face. But the face looked a lot older. Had the girl gotten older somehow? No! She told herself.
"Who are you?" She questioned. Under the moonlight, she saw the woman's smile curve into a wicked smile.
"Hello Danielle," she said.
"H-how do you know me?" Danielle's voice wavered in fear. The woman stepped forward and put a finger to her chin. She lifted it.
"You mean your father never told you about me?" Danielle nodded.
"What a shame!" she exclaimed. "I guess I will have to do it for him." Danielle's eyes squinted. Who was this woman? And how did she know my father?
"I am your aunt. Aunt Andorra."
"What!" Danielle said and backed away. "You mean..." The woman nodded.
"Your father is my brother." Danielle stared into Andorra's eyes. She never knew her father had a sister.
"But why? Why are you out here?" Andorra sighed and looked away.
"A long time ago, I was supposed to be the next ruler of Zilda. But they chose Steven instead. He stole the throne from me. So I ran away and vowed to get this kingdom for myself. And you," she turned back to her. "You are part of my plan."
She held her arms out in front of her, closed her eyes and whispered something. Only Danielle could barely hear what she said.
"Skin so light and fragile, turn this girl into the dangerous and frightening creature of all time." A red sparkling dust came floating from her hands and swarmed Danielle like a thousand bees.
"What's happening!?" Danielle cried out. Then suddenly she was being lifted into the air. She felt her body change. Her body was being pulled in all directions and everything about her grew and changed to a dark color. She cried out, pain flooding throughout her whole body. She closed her eyes and thought that what could she be doing to her? But not long after the pain vanished and she found herself staring at the ground before her, her eyesight fading in and out and her breath was coming out in rapid gasps. What happed to her? Had she grown? The ground seemed farther away. Next, she was staring down at Andorra whom smiled up at her wickedly.
She then laughed and vanished into thin air and Danielle looked down to see huge, curved sharp claws the color of black. She turned her head discovering two massive wings attached to her back; each claw like a bat’s wing. Danielle had... changed- Into Something.
CHAPTER TWO
Danielle trudged through the thick trees as she made her way back to the castle. She struggled to stay upright with her new body. It was certainly, a lot different from a human's; much different. She kept running into tall trees that were hiding her view of the castle. More trees! Danielle cried in her mind. Where's the castle!?
Enraged from this magic Andorra had bestowed on her, she stomped the ground with her giant feet. But then she stopped to think clearly. What would she do when she got back home? Her father wouldn't know it was her! No one would. What could she do now? If only I could speak. She thought.
At that moment, she heard voices coming from her right. Ella! She rushed through the trees but halted. Her head barely shone through the trees. Samuel and Ella were standing there on the balcony in each other's arms gazing into each other’s eyes.
"I enjoyed that so much Sammy!" Ella exclaimed. Danielle felt like laughing, but did dragons laugh? Sammy? Nice, Ella. Samuel put a finger under her chin and lifted it.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." They smiled and embraced.
"Ella," Samuel said as they pulled back. She gazed back at him with eager shown in her sparkling eyes.
"Yes?"
"I will be king soon, and I will also need a wife."
"Do you have one in mind?" she questioned.
"Actually, yes," Smuel replied. "It's you Ella, I want you to be my queen." Ella's face brightened.
"Of course I will!"
Anger flared inside Danielle like sparks rising into a blazing fire. She just accepted his proposal! Here she was trapped in a body of a dragon while she was over there kissing that dumb prince! She couldn't stifle the roar that built inside her throat causing her to break out.
Furiously, she leapt out of the trees, releasing a clamorous roar echoing through the dark night. Samuel and Ella turned to see the dragon glaring at them with green eyes flashing with madness. Ella shrieked and cowered behind Samuel for protection while he unsheathed a sword which blended in with his clothes. Danielle lunged at him, jaws wide opened. But his sword slashed the top of her nose causing it to bleed. She roared, moving her head backward.
"Guards!" She heard Samuel yell. About twenty or more burst through the glass door carrying swords and crossbows. Danielle backed up slowly. If she didn't leave now, they would kill her without even knowing she was the princess transformed into this powerful creature.
"Ready your arrows!" One man ordered. All arrows were aimed at her.
Danielle had to leave now. Without thinking, she stretched out her wings and flapped them. Soon, she was leaving the ground when the archers were just about to release the arrows.
"Now!" Arrows swooshed through the air heading toward the dragon. Danielle dodged them clumsily and began to fly away. It was strange to be flying since she had never done so before, but it was the time to do so. She heard more arrows coming her way, glanced back and moved out of their way but she suddenly lost control and crashed into the ground below making rocks, and bushes go flying.
***
Samuel and Ella watched the dragon disappear with frightened faces. When all was quiet, he turned to her.
"Are you alright?" She nodded. Her face was pale and he could tell she was shaking with fright. King Steven and Seth walked out and Ella ran to her father, hugging him tightly.
"Go inside Ella," Steven said. She nodded went back inside. King Seth stood face to face with Samuel.
"We heard the roaring. Was it a dragon?" He asked. Samuel's stomach churned with nervousness. There was something he needed to tell his father that would shock him.
"Yes."
"What kind of dragon was it?" Samuel gulped.
"Black. It was a Black Dragon." Seth and Steven just stared at him.
"Nonsense!" Steven exclaimed.
"But it was! I saw it with my own eyes!"
"Are you sure?" Seth asked. Samuel nodded. Steven turned to Seth.
"We cannot tell the kingdom. We do not want them to worry. This problem will cause them to panic and to leave."
"But what do we do?" Samuel questioned harshly. He kept the image of the black dragon lunging at him and Ella in his mind. That dragon had destroyed everyone's peace.
Seth looked back and forth between Steven and Samuel.
"I will send out my best knights to kill the beast."
"No! I will not have you risking your knights for my kingdom!" Steven exclaimed and putting his hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Don't worry," Seth reassured him.
"Then we will both slay the beast," Steven said.
"Father," Samuel said. "If I may, I will accompany the knights and we will kill the Black Dragon." Seth looked at him and nodded.
"Father!"Ella cried. They turned quickly as if she was in danger. She stood there, her face white.
"What is it?" Steven asked.
"I cannot find Danielle anywhere."
***
She opened her eyes tiredly to find herself staring at the trees around her. Her big nose stung with pain from when Samuel wounded her and her body ached from crashing into the ground last night. The sun shone through the trees making it better to see. She wanted to get up and go back home but she couldn't. She was a dragon now and would probably be one forever.
Danielle lay there lazily, just looking into the trees. Her stomach growled and her throat was parched. She hadn't eaten anything at the ball that night. Her thoughts turned to Ella. She accepted Samuel's proposal and they would be married. Ella would leave the kingdom and rule Zelda with Samuel. She would be all alone.
She sniffled. She might never see her family again. She was too busy thinking sorrowful thoughts that she didn't notice the small animal drinking from a stream nearby who had noticed her. Maybe my time is coming to a tragic end. Her eyes closed and she lay there motionless.
Something then brushed her nose making her shift positions. It happened again.
"What? What is that?" When she opened her eyes, she found herself gazing into two, tiny black beady ones. Danielle screamed backing away from the creature but stopped when she felt pain shoot up through her body. She stopped and looked at the creature.
"A squirrel! I can't believe I was afraid of a squirrel!" She exclaimed and laughed. But then she quit the laughter. I just talked. She thought excitedly.
"I can talk!" She cried. The squirrel just stared at her. Danielle leaned her head down to the animal.
"Hello squirrel. My name is Danielle." The squirrel blinked. Danielle giggled.
"Oh of course you can't talk. But I wish you could because I'm lonely out here all by myself." She noticed the squirrel stiffened and it's fluffy tail stand on its end. It was scared.
"A-a b-black ddddragon." Danielle couldn't believe her ears when she heard its voice. The squirrel backed up.
"Gah! Don't eat me! Please!" He screamed putting his little paws infront of his face.
"Don't worry. I won't," Danielle replied laughing heartedly. All her thoughts and worries seemed to vanish.
"But-- you are a Black Dragon." Danielle rolled her eyes.
"What is so important about that?" She questioned.
"Well, your supposed to attack, and kill and destroy…" Danielle rolled her eyes again.
"Look, I'm not really a dragon."
"Then what are you?"
"A princess." She replied confidently. The squirrel burst into laughter.
"I am!" She exclaimed. He just continued to laugh, falling over and putting his hands to his belly.
Changing the topic, she replied, "What is your name?" The squirrel quit laughing and relaxed.
"Mue," he replied.
“Nice to meet you Mue. I am Danielle.”
***
"I'm... so... hungry," Danielle groaned. She lay sprawled on the ground.
"What will I eat out here?" Mue sat next to her fluffing his poufy tail.
"Don't you know that you have to hunt for yourself?"
"Hunt? I never hunted before."
"What?!"
"I told you I'm not a dragon. I was magically transformed into one." Mue just stared at her as if she was crazy.
"Oh forget it. Just help me find some food please! I am starving!" Danielle stood up on all fours and stretched out her limbs. Mue watched her, fascinated at how mighty and strong she looked.
"What?" Danielle questioned. Mue gave a little shake of his head.
They began a walk through the forest searching high and low for any food. Danielle's stomach growled loudly making her flinch.
"So this is how hungry dragons get? I feel bad for them." She said to herself. Mue heard her but didn't reply. He wasn't a dragon so how could he know what it felt like? For him life was easy. All he had to do was search for acorns, store them in his home and have all he can eat. He wasn't that type of hunting animal.
"I see something!" Danielle exclaimed and crouched into a defensive position.
"It's only a deer," Mue replied simply.
"It won't hurt you." Danielle glared at him.
"I know that. But isn't this the first step to capturing your prey?" She moved forward slowly. The deer continued grazing without noticing them. Mue stood behind waiting anxiously to know what Danielle would do.
The dragon kept her pace smoothly and tried not step on any branches that would cause them to snap.
"Ready," she told herself. "Go!" She leaped from the trees and flew toward the deer with her large, sharp claws out stretched toward to deer's flesh. The deer's head perked up, but before it could scamper away, the dragon's claws sank into its flesh. It was dead right then.
"I did it!" Danielle exclaimed and whooped.
"That was fast," Mue said appearing beside her.
"I guess I already have that Dragon instinct," Danielle replied pride fully. She stopped and looked down at the deer. She never ate raw meat before. But maybe it would taste good to her if she was a dragon. Nervously on how the meat would taste, she leaned down and ripped off a piece of meat. It was chewy but hade an interesting taste.
"Hmmm. I like it!" She took another bite and another. Mue watched her with disgust and turned away. She was done a few minutes later.
"I'm still hungry," she said and sank to the ground.
"That's amazing how you can eat a whole deer and still want more food," Mue explained.
"I know. I feel I'm not even half full yet." Danielle looked up at the sky and noticed for the first time that it was cloudy. She sniffed.
"I think it's going to rain." Mue followed her gaze.
"I think your right. We should find some shelter." They began traveling again.
"So..." Danielle started. "I think we are friends now?" Mue glanced at her.
"I guess so," he replied. Danielle smiled at the thought of being friends with a squirrel. Few droplets started to fall and soon transitioned into pouring rain.
"Look! A cave!" Danielle screamed over the rain. Both of them entered it but she barely made it through the entrance because of how large she was. They stayed there. Danielle watched Mue cuddle up beside her and close his eyes. She laid her head down and watched the rain hit the ground. The same thoughts suddenly came back to her from before. Would she ever see her family again? Were they looking for her? She felt a pang in her chest and she felt sad. She missed her family.
***
Samuel clutched the railing so hard that it made his knuckles turn white. In his mind, he pictured the horrific event that happened last night. The enormous creature, giant wings with black, glittering scales lunging at him with green eyes blazing with fury. His eyes narrowed as he stared into the aphotic forests. He would find that Black Dragon. And when he did, he would kill it.
His eyes moved toward the sky. It was beginning to clear up and the rain had stopped pouring. He'd soon be out there in the mystical forests looking to slay the kingdom's furious enemy.
He then jumped when he heard someone else step out onto the balcony. He turned and saw Ella, her eyes full of sadness. Samuel knew why. Danielle had gone missing over night and never returned. King Steven sent troops out to scour kingdom but hadn't come back yet.
Samuel stood in front of her and wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace. She rested her head against his shoulder, sobbing for the loss of her sister.
"It's alright, we will find her," he reassured her. She pulled back and he wiped her tears from her face. She gave him a weak smile.
"I hope you are right. But, I don't understand how Danielle could disapear like that," she replied.
" I don't know either, but we have another problem to worry about as well." She looked into his eyes, knowing what he meant.
"Please be careful," she said. Samuel nodded. He kissed her lips softly before leaving the balcony.
Not long after, he entered the throne room to see King Seth, King Steven, and a young knight standing there and discussing something important.
"We searched the whole village but still no sigh of her," the knight was saying. Steven looked away.
"Danielle would never run off like that," he said.
"Are you sure you searched the whole kingdom?" Seth asked the knight. He nodded.
"Except," he added. "The forests." Steven lifted his head.
"The forest? I told Danielle she was never allowed to enter it. I know she would never disobey me," Steven implied. There was a moment of silence between them. Samuel opened his mouth to speak but Steven interrupted him.
"Just keep searching."
"But sire-,"
"Now!" The king practically yelled. The knight bowed and walked out the throne room.
As if noticing him for the first time, Seth looked at Samuel.
"I am ready Father," Samuel said nervously. He nodded.
***
King Steven, full of sorrow and gloom, stared out his bedroom window watching Prince Samuel leading a large group of knights out of the castle grounds. He hoped the dragon would be slayed but what he really hoped was to find his dear daughter, Danielle.
He felt his wife's hand touch his shoulder softly. He took it and put his arm around her shoulders.
"We will find her. We just have to believe we can," Steven told her. She nodded leaning her head against his chest.
"What if she's lost? Or what if she has been kidnapped? And what about the dragon?" she asked.
"Then we have two things to worry about."
"Don't you mean three?" Another voice said. Steven turned his head sharply to see his sister standing nearby. The woman's mouth was curved into a wide, wicked smile and her eyes peered deep into his making him fear her.
"Steven, who is this?" Maralyn exclaimed.
"T-this is-"
"So he hasn't told you either. Well it seems no one in the kingdom knows who I am. That is very wrong you know," she said with a smirk.
"Steven?" Maralyn spoke again.
"She is my sister." Maralyn gasped.
"Your sister?!"
"Correct," Andorra said. Steven glared at her with thoughts running through his mind.
You will regret ever becoming king.
"So it's you. You are the one who raised this dragon from the dead to destroy our kingdom," he accused her.
"Not exactly." Andorra muttered.
"But there something else I have done."
“Is it something to have to do with Danielle?" The king asked. Andorra nodded.
"What have you done with her?" Steven and Maralyn looked at each other.
"That is only for me to know," Andorra replied beginning to vanish. Once she did her voice appeared again.
"Don't worry, she isn't dead."
Steven called her name but received no answer.
***
"We will set up camp here," Samuel said halting his horse. The other knights did the same and jumped down from their steeds.Then they took down rolled up tents and began to set them up. Samuel stood nearby staring into the dark, vast forest. In the morning, their hunt would begin.
"Your majesty," a voice apeared behind him. It was Cynric one of the nobelist knights in his kingdom.
"Yes, Cynric?" Samuel replied.
"One of us has found something very interesting, your highness." Samuel cocked one eyebrow.
"Show me." He followed the knight past the tents and came to two other knights who were bending down looking at something in the dirt.
"What is it?" Samuel asked making his way in between them. He bent down to see a large, deep imprint in the dirt. He traced his fingers over the large imprint. It was a dragon footprint for sure.
"A dragon foot print," he told them. Cynric bent down as well and touched it.
"And it's leading that way," he replied pointing to his right where more of them were imprinted in the dirt.
"We will follow them in the morning." Samuel looked at Cynric.
"Make sure the knights' weapons are sharpened and ready by tomorrow." Cynric nodded, stood and walked back into the camp.
As for Samuel, he stared at the foot print hoping this was the black dragons.
***
"Danielle." Mue touched her nose and she shifted a little but her eyes didn't open.
"Danielle! Wake up!" This time the squirrel yelled. The dragon opened her eyes to his small face looking into hers.
"What is it?" She asked. Suddenly her stomach growled.
"It's morning," Mue replied. "And you sound very hungry." Danielle nodded, standing up on all four legs.
"Well, while you were sleeping, I found a herd of deer grazing in a field nearby." After she heard the word "deer" she pounced out of the cave causing it to rumble. Mue chased after her escaping the rocks that began to fall.
"Wait for me!" He screamed but the dragon was already flying above the trees.
"Danielle!" He ran through the trees following the large figure in the sky. He then saw her disembark toward the ground. Breathing heavy and exhausted, he found her perching in a wide, field of long, flowing grass. A herd of deer grazed in the distance.
Mue landed besides her trying to regain his breath. He put on paw on her leg and leaned against it.
"Ok, I am going to do it," Danielle said. She started forward leaving Mue to fall face down into the ground. Her slow pace increased more and more as the deer grew nearer. Then their heads moved in her direction.
Danielle growled making the animals scatter but she was too quick. She knocked down one, then another and another. The rest had escaped but she knew this was enough for her.
Minutes later, she had eaten two of them but before she could get to the next deer, a loud roar filled her ears. Mue had been sitting near her and looked up. A gigantic winged creature was coming in their direction.
"Danielle, we should go now," he said.
"What is it?" she asked. "Another dragon?"
"Yes!" Mue exclaimed. "Now go before it sees us!"
"What kind is it? Black?"
"No! A brown one! Now go!" Danielle sadly left the rest of her hunt and raced to some nearby trees. She dived into them and kept low beneath them.
They heard the dragon roar and swarm above the trees. Danielle and Mue stayed there as if they were frozen, watching it from below.
"It's even bigger than me!" Danielle whispered.
"You aren't an adult yet but sooner or later, you will get a lot bigger."
"I'm almost eighteen!" Danielle replied but shut her mouth when she heard the dragon roar again. They waited there for a while until the dragon had finally disappeared.
"That was close," Mue said with relief. He plumped down on top of her head while holding his own in his tiny paws.
"What now?" Danielle asked.
End of chapter
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Hey Sarah,

Well, this was a really long chapter. Maybe next time you should post one and two separately? It's a bit lengthy to ask for a whole review on it. I think this story is good, and it's well paced. You can see the disasters as they start to unfold, what with Danielle becoming a dragon.
There are two main problems with this chapter. One is spelling, and one is detail. There were quite a few spelling mistakes through this which can easily be avoided. For example you put "quite" when it needed to be quiet. Or sighed when it should've been signed. I've corrected the first paragraph here for you. If you just take a look at it and compare it to your one, you'll see slight differences.
"Danielle woke up from a peaceful dream to see the golden sun shining brightly through her window. She sat up excitedly. She was filled with joy and happiness for her father would be returning home from a four day journey. He had gone to Risenife to sign a peace treaty. She was sad to have him leave but it was for the kingdom's own good will. There will hopefully be no wars. Danielle hated war and wished there would be none in the future.
The princess jumped out of bed and raced to her wardrobe. She carelessly pulled out a dress and slipped it on. She had to be the first one to welcome her father's return. She loved him so much it felt like he had been gone for a year.
And another little mistake that can be easily cleared up (although I make this mistake myself all the time!) is between you're and your. Basically you're means 'you are' and anytime that's what you mean to say, then you're is appropriate. Any time it isn't you use your. And if you are saying something belongs to a person, or there's a characteristic about them you are mentioning, then you use your. I know all the rules but sometimes I mess this up to. I just thought it would be helpful to know. ^^
Detail time! So I know what's going on in the story, and why it's happening. Now I want some more emotion. When Danielle's body is stretching and changing into this huge mighty dragon from such a small figure, than it must hurt! I want to know what it feels like to have your bones stretch, break and reconnect to fit an animals. I want to know what it's like to feel your eyes expand to dragon size, and what it's like to see you're face grow longer and harder to form a snout. Give us details! Danielle feels upset because Ella and Samuel get together, but tell us more about this. Does she feel like pushing them in a lake or crying in a corner pitying herself? I want to know more!
That said, I think it's time I move on and read the other chapters
Deanie x
Hey there! Stef back to review chapter 1 and 2!
Okay so first of all, I found a huge lack of description in your story. I am a huge fan of long descriptions but your descriptions were generally very lackluster.
That should be he backed away, grabbing a sword.(Also where did the sword come from? Was it strapped on his hip? Was it hanging around in the dressing room? Leaving out these details throws the reader off by a fair bit.)
You mispelled forward and it should have been touched the blade.
You need one less she there
entered*
Since you used of all time, I'm guessing that this was meant to be into the MOST dangerous and frightening creature.
Alright Chapter 1 complete. Generally I've noticed a few inconsistencies, like a few grammar issues and the fact that you can't seem to decide if the land is called Zilda or Zelda, but nothing huge. But! I have noticed that you just throw the information to the reader. That is a mistake I do quite a lot myself, but you need to give the reader the information masked in the details, don't just state that it annoyed her, make her huff and clench her fists and narrow her eyes, SHOW the reader that she is annoyed.
Chapter 2!
disappear*
This sentence threw me off a bit, I don't know why, I think it was because of this quick acceptance of them seeing a dragon.
Also something that bothered me while reading this, you don't distinguish the character's thinking from the rest of the text, that throws the reader off by a fair bit!
Also, PLEASE, learn the difference between your and you're
Anyway, the rest of the chapter goes pretty smoothly, or I just didn't spot the grammar mistakes. You need a good re-edit of the whole thing, but it's nothing you can't fix easily.
Your idea is generally great, so just keep on writing!
I read both the prologue and now this! I love how you immediately put Andorra in. She quickly acted in a sneaky way. Now, they might kill a princess, thinking it's a dragon! Imagine their faces if she dies, and then Andorra says of what had happened to their dear Danielle!
I don't understand why you put "rose this dragon from the dead" because with the brown dragon, why would it be from the dead? The squirrel is smart too. In fact, maybe too smart. He already knows a lot about dragons. Why is Samuel so intent on killing "The Black Dragon" exactly? He doesn't have a reason for revenge. That is left unanswered. Anyways, you don't have a lot of things that could use a little bit more help, so I believe that this is actually a little bit better than the shorter prologue.
All I'm trying to say is that you're awesome, and you should keep on being awesome! Alright! Now I'm going to read chapters 3 and 4 I believe? Keep on writing!
Good morning & happy review day!
I have read your prologue and these two chapters but ill just do both reviews in one!
I really liked your idea behind this story - who doesn't like a bit of revenge between siblings? I also like the way you've turned her into a dragon - was definitely not expecting this! I also like the way you have presented Samuel as a typical fairy tale heroic prince & Ella as a typical fairy tale girly princess. It's cute.
So on to the gritty bits.
PROLOGUE:
I think this is a clever start to your story. It gives us some nice background information to the siblings.
I didn't like the way you described Andorra as 'the non beautiful one' though. I think you could have chosen a better descriptive such as 'the only one in her family that isn't a typical beauty'
I also didn't think that Andorra should have warned Steven about her intentions within the letter - tell the reader by all means - but leave it a mystery to the other characters to create that surprise and suspense.
CHAPTER ONE-TWO
A good continuation of the story - I like that we are now upon a new generation and Andorra is going to use this to her advantage. I agree with Wherethewindgoes however, in that it throws up questions as to why it has taken her so long to take action? Maybe she could have had some failed attempts over the years?
There are some spelling errors throughout the prologue and chapters which I'm not going to sit here and point them out to you. Only you can spot them from going through your own work.
Sometimes you need to make sure that you are making the reader comfortable about who's point of view we are reading from and also who is speaking some of the time. Again - you should be able to see what I mean if you pick your own work apart.
I really like the way you dropped in a few clues about the true nature of Danielle. Why is she the only one who seems to have spotted the old woman at the ball?
Sometimes you have chosen a word that doesn't go with the story. For example, you write that Danielle trudged down the stairs. This means that she walked laboriously and wearily. She wouldn't if she was excited to see her father, right?
You also chose the word 'rotten' when describing the meat from the deer that Danielle had just killed. Surely it would be either fresh or raw?
Last thing ( sorry I'm going on lol) When you describe the scene where Andorra visits her brother for the first time in years - I don't think you need to dialogue between the queen first. Heck, I don't think the queen needs to be there at all! You could just start the scene with King Steven standing in front of his mirror.
Overall - I think its really interesting and I'm excited to read the next chapters.
Good luck and I hope this helped!
Feel free to take a look at my work when you have the time.
Hallo!
So. Good continuation of this; I like how you started it a while later, when Andorra is now finally getting her revenge (Although I do wonder, why did it take so long?). A few things;
Firstly, I think you have a lot of unnecessary words here. There's a bit of repetition in some places, or places where you say things that the reader could have already assumed. For instance:
Here I would cut out the entire last sentence. The readers saw them save her life, and heard her snap, so it isn't necessary to explain why Samuel was flinching. Stuff like that is all excess, unnecessary words that can be cut to make the story more concise and sound better.
Another thing would be something like this:
This last sentence isn't really necessary. For one, I think that this is more a thing that you should show through her actions and not just state. But you did actually show this through her actions as well, what with her running and ignoring her shoes and hugging her father and such. All of that is a much better way to express her happiness than just simply stating it, and so I would suggest cutting that sentence.
There are other things like this, so I would suggest perhaps going through the story and try to cut anything that doesn't add to the meaning. Saying things in the most concise way possible helps the narrative flow as well as it can, so it's important that you cut anything unnecessary.
Another thing I would advise against is something like this:
Saying "Soon, ..." is jarring to a reader because it interrupts the flow of things happening. It sort of gets rid of all tension or suspense by pausing the story and suggesting time passing without describing anything actually happening during that time. Instead you could simply say "The bandits turned and left", which allows the narrative to continue uninterrupted.
The last thing I have to say is more of a warning than anything else, but the ground of dragons and kingdoms and people fighting over leadership has been tread quite a lot, so make sure to keep your story unique. It's very easy to fall into cliches in this kind of subject matter.
All in all, the story is interesting and certainly has the potential to be a great novel.
Good luck!
-Wherethewindgoes
Hi Sarah!
I can't stop smiling over this image in my head of a dragon and a squirrel hanging around together and being friends! It's so cute I can't take it--and I work with kittens for a living, so I see a lot of cute.
Overall, I thought this entire bit was somewhere on the cute spectrum. Some may doubt the fairytale-esque fantasy, and others might look down on it, but I'm a passionate fairy tale scholar myself and thus can't resist a good princess and dragon story. Having the princess be the dragon is a new one to me, or at least new to me recently.
What's really working for me here, though, are your characters and dialogue. Despite this only being the first chapter, I have an idea of all the characters and who they are and have a decent picture in my head of them. Your dialogue seems natural,, too, which tells me you have a good ear for how people talk.
I have a few suggestions that I hope will enable you to turn your writing from obviously talented (because you are obviously talented, m'dear) to obviously talented and dangerously skilled.
First, don't be afraid to slow the story down and savor all the small moments! I would love to get to know your characters in more depth, to hear more of their conversations and see more of their daily lives. As it is, you jump from Plot Event to Plot Event rapidfire, and all those opportunities for rich charactery goodness are lost. You could break all the materials you have here into a couple chapters. That's allow your reader (me!) to really get to know the characters.... and that makes the story and your message all the more powerful.
(And on a side note, smaller chapters might get more reviews more quickly!)
The other main suggestion I have for you is to make sure you choose a perspective and stick to it. Right now the "camera" sort of floats from one character to another, but the transitions aren't clear, so it gets confusing. Fun as it is to have every character have a chance, it's also sometimes more powerful to have only a few or even just one character do all the talking. Well, writing.
I could probably point out a couple more things, but I can do that with later chapters. I hope some of this helps you out!
Rach