"Would you look at that," Judas said.
"Yeah I see it," Shannon replied.
"Let's get in there and seize it," Storm suggested excitedly. Alex crouched next to him and nudged him.
"We have to think before we do something. Otherwise we'll be killed." Storm rolled his eyes.
"With this dragon, we could make a fortune!" Zacharias, their other companion, spoke.
"Yeah," Shannon agreed and fitted an arrow in her bow and pointed it at a young man.
"Maybe I should just kill each one of them now."
"No," Judas said. Shannon lowered her bow, disappointed.
"But why? Now is the perfect moment!" Zacharias replied. Storm nodded and said, " Judas, why can't we have that dragon now!?" Judas silenced them.
"We will wait and follow them. Then we will trap them," Judas told them. But they stared at him with uncertainty in their eyes. Judas turned away and watched the Black Dragon sit there. It seemed so harmless from his point of view. He shook his head. He couldn't let his gang down now that they found something worth more than anything.
***
Danielle and Mue watched both men eat their meal promptly stuffing the food inside their mouths and savoring the taste of the rich meat. Everything was quiet except for the sounds of the flickering flames. Danielle was extremely tired from the long day and rested her chin to the ground and relaxed. Mue leaned against her closing his eyes and fell asleep within a minute. Samuel took his last bite and chewed it slowly then letting it slide down his throat. He looked over at Danielle meeting her gaze but she quickly looked away and stared into the fire.
"Samuel, you should lay down to sleep because we have a long day ahead of us," Herman spoke gently. Samuel looked at him. It seemed Herman could be a little rough sometimes but quiet and gentle as well. Most of the time he was just calm. He watched the hermit pull out an ax from his bag and begin sharpening the blade. Samuel looked at the ax closer seeing initials carved into the wood. They were HV.
"Did you make that?" Samuel asked. Herman shook his head and continued to the sharpen the blade.
"My father did. His name was Farrar Verrier. We lived in a small village called Sharpine and he was the blacksmith of the village. After I was born my mother died leaving us to care for our home. Many years passed until I was a young man helping my father with making the tools but the whole village was struck with an illness. It spread through person to person until my father got it. Before he died, he gave me this ax to remember him and that it will help me in the future."
"What do you mean by that?" Samuel asked.
"There was something about my father I nor the people of the village knew of. Some said he had some sort of magical power. But my father never mentioned any of that to me. After my father died, the rest of the village was affected with this sickness leaving me and my new wife, Elly to be the only ones who weren't affected. We left the village making our own home and family." Herman stopped talking leaving a train of thought between them.
"What happened to your family? Your wife?"
"I had two sons, Fabron and Eloi. When they were only three years old, our house was raided by bandits. They killed Elly and my kids leaving me with nothing but myself. From then on, I lived alone." Samuel could tell he was crying and hiding his eyes so he wouldn't see the tears. Samuel looked away. He saw that Danielle had been listening also.
"I'm sorry Herman," Danielle said looking at him with sadness in her eyes. She felt so sad for him. He lost all he loved. She closed her eyes. I don't want that to happen to me. If my whole family died, I couldn't live with myself She thought.
***
Judas watched his gang fall asleep within the night. He left them to get closer to the group that they were following and over heard the man's story. He was suddenly drenched with guilt and sorrow after he heard it all. He remembered this man, and his family. They were all so happy even though the whole village was lost. But then that day came and he remembered it all so clearly.
Judas gazed up into the night sky. Why Bracken? Why did you do it?
***
The next day the sky was plain blue with no white clouds and the sun shown brightly as ever before. Danielle, Samuel, Herman and Mue were flying above the trees again this time, with the mountains closer in view. Danielle stared at them with this yearning feeling within her heart that, that was where they would find Andorra. And hopefully everything would happen according to her plan. She would persuade Andorra to change her body back to the way it was and then she could return home to her father, mother, Ella and Adrian. Everything would be alright. But then she thought of Samuel's and Ella's marriage. She didn't want them to get married. Ella would move on and wouldn't have time for her anymore. Ella will rule the kingdom with Samuel. Samuel.
Danielle looked and saw Samuel staring off into the other direction. The wind rushed through his golden hair and for some reason she thought he looked very handsome in the position he was in. He caught her gaze and suddenly yelled,
"Danielle, Look out!" Danielle looked forward. She realized she was heading straight into the trees. She shrieked, pulling herself upwards before they crashed.
"Danielle! Look what you almost did!" Samuel cried. Danielle glared at him.
"I'm sorry I was distracted!" Samuel lifted one eyebrow.
"Calm down you two," Herman said giving Samuel a small slap on the head.
"Danielle, please watch where you are going from now on so you won't kill us." Danielle gritted her teeth. I hate you Samuel. She thought.
They flew onward until beneath them the trees began disapearing leaving more land deserted. Then they saw some old ruins scattered across the land.
"What is this place?" Samuel wondered.
"It's the ruins of my old Village. Sharpine," Herman answered. His voice sounded lower, with more depression this time. Danielle could tell he did not wish to be in this place. She watched Herman's sad face as he looked at the old village.
***
Meanwhile, Judas's gang had entered Sharpine. "Is this-?" Storm asked. Judas nodded as he stepped through the ruins. His gang followed and they headed toward one certain house. Zacharias gave the door a little push and it opened. Judas slowly walked in with Alec following. He stopped in his tracks in a large room with old rusty pots and chairs. Next to one wall was an old bed covered with cobwebs. Judas lifted all the webs. Once they were cleared, he and his gang were staring at a single skeleton.
"My old home," Judas said.
***
Leaving Sharpine behind, Herman turned his gaze away. His memories in the village flashed in his mind, his beautiful wife's smiling face and their two small children in each other's arms. Next, he remembered his fathers face. Weak, sad and pale. "I trust that you son, will finish my work in the future." Those were his last words before his death.
"Herman, are you alright?" Samuel asked. Herman looked at him and nodded.
"Yes, of course I am." Danielle looked back at him and knew nothing was alright. Herman lost his family and his village. Nothing could change that.
"Cheer up Herman!" Danielle said in an uplifting way. "Sulking won't do you any good. Forget about the past." She looked him in the eyes and he nodded slowly.
Danielle stared at the mountains ahead, her heart urging her forward. Father, soon I will be home and everything will be alright. She smiled. Yes, it will be.
The area they were flying over was becoming rockier and more hilly that they found themselves entering the mountainous area.
"Were finally here!" Danielle called. Mue, who had been asleep on her head woke up in a dreamy daze as he looked around.
"Where are we?" He asked dreamily.
"The Enigma Mountains," Herman replied. Samuel gazed at the tall, rigid mountains around them. He saw one mountain that seemed to be the tallest out of everyone of them and on one side of it was the largest cave he had ever seen. Near it was a small lake with water that looked drinkable.
"Is anyone thirsty?" He asked.
Danielle landed on the ground in front of the big cave and let Herman and Samuel slide down from her back. They raced to the lake with water jugs in their hands. Mue followed them and Danielle turned and looked into the dark cave.
"It's so big!" she said. "Even I can fit through."
Samuel held a cup full of water in his hand and was about to drink it when he saw Danielle enter the cave. What is she doing now? He looked down at his palms and saw Mue drinking the water from them.
"Hey! Get off of me!" He yelled and jerked his hand so the squirrel fell off. Mue fled from him and followed Danielle in to the cave. He stopped and looked at him.
"Meanie!" Mue yelled back and disappeared. Samuel rolled his eyes. How would he put up with those two? He finished drinking and looked at Herman who was staring into the cave.
"Should we go in there after them?" Samuel asked.
"It would be best," Herman answered and entered the cave with Samuel following.
***
"Hey Judas, we have been in that cave before," Alec said. "I remember the strange stone that had the symbol on it. It was like three moons ringed together, right?" Judas nodded. He remembered it perfectly. They were traveling through these mountains when they stumbled upon this place months ago.
"Well, now what?" Zacharias said. Everyone looked at Judas who had an idea running through his mind. After a few moments, he said,
"We follow them in the cave and when the time comes, we attack when they lower their guard. I, Alec and Zach will take care of the dragon while Shannon and Storm fight off the other two." They nodded.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Shannon said gripping her bow tightly. Soon the dragon would be theirs.
***
Danielle was standing in a spacious room with light shining through a hole in a cave making it easier to see. On each side of the wall were small streams that went through the cave to the outside. In between them, was a tall stone and on the top was carved a symbol. Danielle looked at it closely. There seemed to be three crescent moons ringed together creating some kind of symbol.
"What is this?" She asked herself. Mue was on top of her head looking down at it as well.
"I don't know. Some sort of symbol to represent something. Although, I don't know what," Mue replied. Danielle lifted a claw to touch it but before she could, she heard Samuel call her name.
"Danielle! What are you doing? And you know you aren't supposed go off on your own. You know what could happen to you-"
"Were you worried about me?" Danielle asked with humor in her voice. Samuel stopped in his tracks and glared at her.
"No!" Samuel yelled. Herman walked up to the statue and stared at the symbol.
"Do you know what that is?" Danielle asked him. Samuel looked as well.
"No, I have no idea." Samuel touched the symbol and traced his finger around each of the moon crescents.
"A symbol?" Herman nodded.
"Most likely."
Suddenly, an arrow swished by almost hitting Samuel's fore head but he was out of the way in time.
"What?!" Danielle exclaimed. They heard Battle cries erupt the atmosphere and a couple of people ran into the room with weapons in their hands. Herman counted five of them, four men and one woman. The woman and one big man rushed at him and Samuel. Danielle faced the others with an uncertain look on her face.
"Samuel!" Herman called.
"Protect Danielle! We can't let anything happen to her!" Samuel hesitated but obeyed. He tried to get passed one man, he seemed to be about his age, but when Samuel was just about to run passed him, he tripped him. Samuel fell to the ground hitting the ground hard making him bite his lip from hitting his chin. The man who tripped him, pressed a foot hard into his back making him cry out.
"Samuel!" Herman called while fending off the two others. Danielle saw Samuel and for some reason she felt her heart lurch.
"Samuel!" She said. But she turned her attention back to her enemies. She had do something so she could save Samuel. Herman was fighting the others so he had no time to help him. She lifted her tail and smacked the big man aside. He cried and fell to the ground.
"Storm!" The woman called but she looked at Danielle and drew an arrow. Danielle swung her tail in the woman's direction. The woman watched the tail and suddenly she hurdled over it.
"Try again!" Mue said.
"Right." Danielle swung again but missed.
Herman fought the two men at once turning from one to another to battle.
"Who are you?" Herman asked clashing his sword with one of them. They fought, clashing their swords many times.
"We are the forest bandits."
"Bandits?"
"That's right. Now if you don't hand over the dragon, you'll be killed." Herman aimed his sword for the bandit's chest. He blocked it and began hitting his sword many times making Herman stumble backwards.
"Finish him off Zacharias!" The other bandit said.
"Alright, let's end this." The bandit whom was called Zacharias knocked his sword from his hand and kicked him in the stomach sending him flying into the stone. Herman painfully got up and picked up the stone that fell on top of him. He set it back up the way it was touching the symbol with his fingers.
Before the woman had released her arrow in Danielle's direction, and before Samuel was almost slayed, a bright light appeared in the room causing them to stop and cover their eyes.
CHAPTER SIX
Danielle closed her eyes from the bright light that appeared out of no where and so did everyone else. Then she sensed that the light was disappearing and she opened her eyes. The light was gone accept for the symbol on the the stone was glowing and Herman was touching it. Danielle crept toward Herman and saw that his eyes were closed.
"Herman," she said. She looked at the glowing symbol and lifted her claw to touch it.
"What is going on?" she asked. Once she touched it, a smaller pillar of light shot out from the top. Danielle closed her eyes and all of the sudden she found herself some place else. A pure white glowing room and standing next to her was Herman. Danielle looked around her but all she could see was pure whiteness.
Danielle looked down and gasped. For she was not in her dragon form but her own human self.
"How am I-?"
She suddenly saw a figure coming towards them. At first the figure was blurry but came clear once it got closer. It was woman with deep, violet eyes and long white hair that reached all the way down to her waist..
"Who are you?" Danielle asked. The woman just smiled and turned her eyes to Herman.
"Herman Verrrier," she said. "You are an exact image of your father." Danielle suddenly became confused. Herman's father? How did she know him? Herman said nothing but gazed at her in wonder. The woman looked at them both.
"Who are you?" Danielle asked again.
"That question is not needed now. Now that you released me from the bonds that bind me, the prophecy may come to pass."
"Prophecy? What prophecy?" The woman didn't answer but began to fade away.
"Wait, where are you going!?"
"Seek who you are seeking and your answers will be answered from there," the woman said. Danielle and Herman watched her disappear.
***
Andorra felt fear rising inside of her. Her blood ran cold as she stared out of her window and watched her kingdom. She felt her face go pale as the strong feeling overcame her, making her body tremble in fear. A mysterious power had been released into the world.
And she knew who this power belonged to.
"How?" She said. With Mystra released from her prison her plan could fail. She gritted her teeth.
"Who could of-"
"Andorra," A voice appeared from behind her bedroom door.
"What is it now?"
"May I come in?" Andorra rolled her eyes
"Yes." she turned around and tried to look as normal as possible as the dark figure entered the chamber. The door shut softly.
"What is your plan now?" He asked.
"You have felt this power as well."
"Of course. All magical beings feel the presence of any powerful magic that is new or unknown." Andorra nodded and replied,
"Anyway, I will precede with my plan. I doubt Mystra will do anything at this time."
"Are you sure about this?" Andorra Stared at the figure.
" Yes," she lied and walked out of her chamber.
"For those who are chosen will rise up against the darkness that draws nigh." Andorra stopped in her tracks. The man's voice made the prophecy sound even more true than it was. She continued down one of the halls and thoughts began pouring into her mind. She had stop the prophecy no matter what. She had to get revenge on her brother and on the whole kingdom of Zilda.
***
The white, spacious room disappeared the same moment the woman vanished from their sights. Danielle was too shocked to move from her spot and hadn't noticed that the stone disappeared as well. She looked down at herself and saw that she was still in her dragon form. Herman was in the same state as she was. This woman new his father somehow and he yearned to find out how. Danielle opened her mouth to speak but Samuel 's voice broke out in a cry.
"Danielle! Look out!" Samuel yelled. Danielle turned around to see an arrow coming at her. She felt panic rise inside her chest but she didn't want to move. Her eyes closed and the sound of flesh pierced filled her ears. Danielle was expecting to feel severe pain in her chest but there was none. She opened her eyes to see what happened and found something fully unexpected.
Samuel was standing in front of her like a shield. She gaped at him in surprise.
"Samuel?" He began to breath deeply for the arrow struck his chest.
"Just... don't say.... anything," he said. To stunned to move, she stood paralyzed with fright.
"Why did you...?"
"I told you not to speak! You need to get out!" He told her harshly. Why did he do this? They hated each other. They argued and called each other names.
"You are Ella's sister. If you were killed, she couldn't bear to live without you. So I have to protect you." Danielle didn't reply but watched him in shock. So he's doing this for Ella. She didn't know why she thought they could take a liking to each other and become friends. It seemed Samuel didn't have a care for her but only for Ella.
"Judas!" The woman with the bow blurted. The cave was rumbling and the ceiling was collapsing. A rock landed close to Danielle making her jump out of the way.
"We need to get out of here," Mue said.
Samuel fell to his knees pressing gasping for breath.
"Samuel!" Danielle hollered and ran to his side. Herman was already there helping the prince to stand.
"Are you alright?" she asked.
"No! I'm not!" Samuel snapped. Danielle flinched at the sharpness of his words.
"Hurry!" Mue screamed from the top of her head. Herman drew Samuel's arm over his neck helped him to stand. They made their way out of the cave where large amounts of rocks kept falling above them.
Judas and his gang managed to escape from the tumbling cave and were standing far from the entrance. Alec was panting and said,
" Here they come."
"Everyone ready!" Judas commanded. The black dragon was the first to break through the cave, then the other two followed. Judas and his gang stood poised with their weapons ready for attack. The two enemies stood and faced each other while the cave completely collapsed. Samuel breathed hard and eyed their foe's. He looked at the leader of the group and instantly recognized him.
"You," he choked. "You're that bandit." The memory flashed in his mind back to when he and his father were hunting in the woods. Judas studied him and recognized the young prince, son of King Seth.
"Yes I remember you," Judas replied. Zacharias looked at both of them.
"Boss, now is not the time for a reunion, let's just get kill them, take the dragon and get outta here." He charged Herman and Samuel.
"Wait!" Zacharias stopped and growled. He glared at Samuel.
"What now?" Samuel looked at Judas and remembered their encounter. At that time, it seemed like the bandits knew his father.
"You know my father," Samuel said. Judas's expression changed.
"Boss, you don't need to answer. Like I said, let's get this over with and take the dragon." Zacharias raised his sword to smite them.
"Hold it," Judas ordered. Zacharias lowered the blade.
"Urrgghh," he growled and turned his glare to his leader.
"Your father and I were once childhood friends," Judas said.
Samuel's breath caught in his throat and his knees gave away and he fell to the ground. He knelt there covering the wound in his chest as blood spillled out.
"Samuel! Are you alright?" Danielle asked.
"Yes," he replied. He looked into the bandit's eyes.
"It was long ago when I was seven years old. I lived in Sharpine with my mother and father."
So he's a survivor as well. Samuel thought.
"My father worked in the village as a trader. Somedays I would travel with him to the kingdom of Zilda to collect supplies and bring them back to the village. While on our stay in Zilda, I left my father while he worked preparing the supplies ready to be brought back. I snuck into the palace grounds and I met Prince Steven and Seth and we became freinds. I was called their secret friend for no one new of my exsistence. That is until Steven's older sister saw us playing together that she became my friend as well."
Andorra.
Danielle didn't know what to think when she learned that this man was her father's childhood friend. It bothered her that her father hid some things in his past. Like Andorra. She said she was her father's sister and she believed it. And now there was this bandit who said he was her father's childhood friend. He was also a survivor of the plague that swept through the village Sharpine.
"Years after our friendship had grown, we became more distant. I went to our secret place to meet them but it seemed they didn't want to do anything. They were too caught up in preparing for the future. Andorra became too quiet and cold that I couldn't speak to her. She became heartless." There was an awkward silence after that until Judas concluded.
"After a month of staying in Zilda, me and my father returned to our village but found that a illness affected everyone in the village. Even my mother was already dead before we could say goodbye. My father was stricken with sadness that he told me to get away quickly before I could be affected. So I did and I met my gang." Danielle's heart ached and she gazed upon him with sadness in her eyes. Samuel was staring at the ground. Herman's hand clenched his sword and he gritted his teeth.
"And then you came and killed my family," he jeered. Danielle and Samuel glanced at him in shock. Judas looked at him as well.
"It was Bracken's doing not I." Herman scoffed and lunged at the bandit in rage. He blocked Herman's sword and spoke,
"I tried to stop him from doing it but he wouldn't listen!" Herman freed his sword and swung at him many times but Judas blocked him.
"Believe me, I didn't want it to happen," Judas said. Herman remembered that day when the bandits robbed his house. Judas and a taller bandit had trapped him and his familly in their room. Judas was arguing with the other bandit, Bracken, not to kill them and that they were only there to rob them of their posessions.
"Bracken's thirst for kill led it to disaster," Judas said. Herman stopped slashing.
"If that's the case then this past should be forgotten." Judas looked at him with surprise and felt the guilt begin to ware off.
"Herman," Danielle spoke quietly.
"Let's go," Herman told Samuel and Danielle.
"It's not over yet!" Zacharias yelled. He lunged at Samuel with his sword but Samuel clumsly cut him off and swung his sword near his chest. Zacharias dodged it quickly and slew one of Samuel's legs. The prince cried out in pain and collapsed .
"Samuel!" Danielle cried coming for his help. But Zacharias appeared before her. She gasped as he pounced raising his mighty sword above her head and ready to strike. She looked at him horrified. She didn't want to die, not at this moment. She wanted to protect Samuel. Herman and Mue as well. To this time on, she wanted to call them friends.
Zacharias was about to strike when she lifted her claws and swat him. He shrieked and hit the ground with force that the wind was knocked out of him. Shannon ran to him and helped him to stand.
"Stupid... dragon," Zacharias murmured and regained his breath.
"Stop this fight," Danielle said confidently. Samuel looked up at her in astonishment. She advanced toward Judas with determination and courage. Storm and Alec held their swords out for protection while guarding Judas but the leader motioned for them to lower their weapons.
Danielle stopped in her tracks once she got close enough to talk to Judas face to face.
"What do you want?" Judas asked.
"I am Kings Steven's daughter." Judas's eyes widened.
"H-how?"
"Andorra."
"Andorra?"
"Andorra did this to me."
"Why?" He asked. He knew Andorra was a witch but why did she do something like this?
"She want's to get revenge on my kingdom," Danielle replied remembering Andorra mention something like that when she first met her. Judas hung his head. Andorra is evil now? He thought. In the past she was always quiet and distant from everyone else.
"My companions and I are searching for her right now so she can change my body back." Judas looked into her eyes and said,
"Let me come with you. I wish to speak to Andorra myself."
Samuel was surprised Danielle gladly accepted this man’s offer to come with them. He stared at her and saw her large mouth curved up into a smile. She bent her head with her mouth close to Samuel's ear. She could hear him breathe heavily from the wound in his chest.
“Isn’t this nice?” she whispered. Samuel glared at her.
“We don’t know them! How could we trus-“Samuel’s babbling stopped as the pain grew more severe and hard to handle. He cried pressing against his wound. Then he fell to the ground in pain with blood spilling from his wound. He heard Danielle call his name many times but his vision became blurry and soon completely black.
***
Samuel’s eyes opened halfway. He heard faint voices around him. One in particular sounded close and familiar
“Samuel?” Her voice sounded soft and gentle. He opened his eyes wider and found Mue close to his face watching him with his tiny black eyes. He turned his head and saw Danielle who was lying close to him. He noticed it was dark and that a campfire had been built with six figures sitting around it. Samuel looked down at himself. His shirt was taken off and there were bandages wrapped around his chest.
“The youngest bandit, Alec wrapped bandages your wound to stop the bleeding,” Danielle said. Samuel looked at everyone who sat near the fire. His eyes rested on the smaller figure Alec. He looked to be his age.
“Isn’t it nice of him?” Samuel nodded
“Does it hurt?”Danielle asked.
“A little,” Samuel replied. Beside him, Mue was curled up in a small ball and was already asleep. He watched the bandit gang talk and eat their meal with Herman. He tried to make out what they were saying.
“Samuel.” He turned his head to look at the dragon.
“Thank you for protecting me,” she said.
“Y-you’re welcome,” he said hoarsely.
“Are you thirsty?” she asked. “I’ll get you some water!”
“Wait! You can’t get me water, ask Herman!” Danielle stared blankly at but realized what he meant.
“Herman!” She called. “Samuel needs some water!” Herman stood from his spot, grabbed his canteen and walked over to them. He kneeled beside Samuel, lifted his chest slowly and carefully put the canteen to his lips. Cold water was poured into his mouth and slid down his throat. Then Herman set him back on the ground.
“Danielle,” Herman said.
“Yes?”
“You haven’t eaten yet so why don’t you go hunt?” Danielle looked at Samuel.
“Oh yeah, I am really hungry.” She walked away.
“She hasn’t eaten since our fight with Judas. She wanted to stay with you until you woke up,” Herman told Samuel. Samuel watched Danielle leave until she was gone. Danielle? She stayed with me?
“Anyway,” Herman concluded. “Sleep more tonight. Tomorrow we’ll we entering a village to find a doctor who will be able to help you cure faster.” Samuel nodded and closed his eyes.
Danielle walked through the dark woods at a slow pace as she searched the woods cautiously. But then she stopped and gazed admiringly up at the white, glowing moon. She was so close to finding Andorra. The feeling she had grew stronger and stronger each time they came closer to these mountains. Sometimes she thought she could hear her voice whispering her name. I’m coming Andorra. Danielle thought.
***
The sun was a glowing red sphere that rose above the mountains and forests. The world was lit by its striking sunrays. The light shone in Ella’s clear brown eyes as she gazed into the sky that was becoming anew. A week had already passed since Samuel’s and Danielle’s disappearance. The whole kingdom was in uproar now that her father declared that they would be going to war. Andorra had taken her sister. Father told her family about Andorra yesterday and their past.
Ella sighed. She hoped Samuel returned home soon so that she could see him one more time before he departed with his father and go to war. She didn’t know the outcome the war would bring but she hoped none of her loved ones would be killed.
Ella walked down a hall where her feet made faint sounds as she made her way to her bedroom. On the way, a group of knights passed her. Walking head of the group was Cynric. He stopped and so did the rest of knights and they looked at each other. Cynric smiled at her.
“Good day,” he said. Ella gave him a sweet smile and nodded.
“Where are you off today?” she asked him.
“King Seth ordered me and my knights to search for the prince once again. We are going out right now.”
“Oh, well please find him,” Ella said softly. “ And be safe.”
“Will do.” Cynric held her hand to his lips and kissed it. Then he and his knights turned a corner and headed toward the front entrance of the castle.
***
Danielle’s eyes drooped as she watched one of the bandit gang’s members, Shannon, massage her bow. She did not get much sleep last night for she was too worried about Samuel. She glanced at the sleeping prince. His bandages were dried with blood and his chest rose up and down slowly. Her eyes turned back to Shannon’s bow.
“What is it you want?” Shannon asked in an irritated voice.
“Uh … nothing. I ju-.” Shannon raised her left arm.
“Don’t speak.”
“Why?” Danielle stared at the bandit in bewilderment.
“Because dragons are not supposed to speak.” Danielle didn’t reply but watched her take an arrow and slip it into her bow. If dragons were not allowed to speak how could she?
Shannon pulled back the arrow released it. It zipped through the air and landed smack into a tree trunk that was at least twenty feet away.
“Wow! You’re an expert!” Danielle exclaimed.
“That was amazing!” Mue exclaimed also as he perched on Danielle’s head.
“The squirrel can talk also,” Shannon murmured.
“How did you learn to do that?” Danielle asked. The woman sighed and sat back down on the ground.
“My father was taught me. He was an excellent sharpshooter.”
“Where is your father now?”
“He’s dead.” Shannon stood up, clutched her bow and walked away carrying her arrows with her.
“Danielle, you made her depressed now,” Mue said.
“I didn’t mean to, I mean I didn’t know.” Danielle walked over to Samuel looked at him. Sweat trickled down his face and his lips were cracked. She could tell he was in pain.
“Danielle.” Herman appeared beside her with a sack over his shoulder.
“Do you think you could stay here and wait for us to return until Samuel gains his health back?”
“But why? Why can’t I come?” She blurted.
“A dragon like you will alert the villagers,” Herman replied sternly. Danielle sighed. He had a point.
“Fine,” she answered.
Her eyes rested on Samuel’s dirty face.
“Oh I hope he will be alright,” she said to herself.
“He will, don’t worry.” A voice behind her said. She looked and saw Alec.
“There is a doctor in the village that can use magic that can heal a wound like this. As long as we get him to the doctor fast enough, he won’t die.” Danielle smiled.
“Thank you so much for what you did,” Danielle said. Alec nodded and turned away.
“Well I am going to get my pack,” he said and walked away.
***
“I can’t believe we are sticking to these lousy mutts. We could find Andorra on our own if we wanted to. Judas’s and Andorra’s relationship makes me curious,” Zacharias said and took out his sword. Storm stood beside him and agreed.
“And that black dragon. It’s a shock that there is one standing before us,” Storm said.
“Oh yes and it’s worth a fortune. I still don’t understand Judas’s meaning for asking them to come along but I hope we don’t get too involved with their problems.” Storm and Zacharias saw Judas and Alec walking toward them already set to go.
“Are you two ready?” Judas asked. His determined eyes stared into theirs.
“Yeah, whatever let’s just go,” Zacharias replied and sheathed his sword.
Herman picked Samuel up in his strong muscled arms and carried him.
“Stay here and wait for us. We won’t be long,” Herman told Danielle. The dragon nodded and watched the group disappear into the mountains.
Samuel’s eyes drifted open and he noticed Herman was carrying him. Samuel stared at Herman’s big jaw tiredly until the man looked down at him.
“Where are we going?” Samuel asked him. He inspected the strangers that walked beside him. Oh yeah, the bandits. He thought.
“A mountain village, which is only about three hours away,” Herman responded. Samuel looked for Danielle with his wandering eyes but he couldn’t spot her anywhere.
“Danielle is staying back so the village won’t be alarmed. It’s for the best.” Samuel nodded and closed his eyes. He opened them and stared into the sky. He was extremely exhausted and could feel the intense wound in his chest burn the inside creating almost an unbearable pain. The sky was cloudy covered with many dark rain clouds ascending over the land and the sun was no where to be seen. The cold weather stung their skin as they proceeded through the mountain valley.
***
Danielle and Mue sat together on the ground looking at the clouds that now overran their world. Next to them laid the remains of a carcass Danielle had annihilated after their companions left them. Now that Herman, the gang, and Samuel were gone, she felt lonely.
“It’s raining,” Mue said. Cold rain drops fell from the sky filling the air with a bitter cold that enveloped the two creatures. Danielle and Mue moved to a better spot under taller pine trees but blocked some of the rain from hitting them.
“Can you believe it Mue? We are almost close to Andorra!” Danielle exclaimed trying lift the depression off of their shoulders. Mue pampered with his soaked tail to make it more puffy then he gazed at her with excitement.
“You’ll become a human once more!” He said. Danielle nodded. But the squirrel sat back on his rear.
“But if you go back to being human, I probably won’t see you again.” Because the mood went back to the way it was, Danielle frowned.
“Well I will beg my father to let you stay in the castle.” Mue and Danielle looked at each other in the eyes.
“Really?” Mue asked. Danielle nodded. Mue came to her side and cuddled against her black, smooth scales. She smiled and lifted a wing to cover him from the rain. Then she became at ease herself and fell into a peaceful sleep.
Judas, Alec, Shannon, Zacharias, Storm and Herman stood on a high cliff above a village that was surrounded by tall, brownish mountains. A moment ago the rain stopped and the atmosphere became clearer and easier to see.
“Here we are. My gang and I visited this village before so we know the doctor. Kind of,” Judas told Herman
“Alright, come on! Let’s get going!” Zacharias hollered from below. He had already commenced and was waiting on a lower cliff. Herman climbed down conveying the wounded prince down to each bandit. Once the group reached the ground, they made their way into the village.
It was healthy village with many people roaming about visiting markets and greeting each other.
“Now let’s find the doctor,” Judas said.
End of chapter
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Hi Sarah,
I know I haven't read the previous chapters of this story, so I can't focus on the story much because I don't have the full background of it. But I did like the idea of all these people going back to their old deserted home, towards the beginning of the chapter. It shows how the past always affects our present and future. I liked it.
There are many ways you can also improve your writing though, and this is what I mainly want to focus on. First I'll give you a little tip that will help you get more reviews. Although it does cost points to post, maybe split the chapter 5-6 into just 5 and 6 separate and post twice? It makes the work look a little less long and daunting to read in one go. It can help ^^
Now to the writing. As HopelessAbandon already said, sometimes the dialogue is a bit unrealistic. The best way to work on this is to listen to how other people talk to each other, and how it flows together. Or how it works in movies. Then try and imitate not the words, but the style of this. Smooth dialogue also helps improve the characters.
Next I wanted to talk to you about description. You've got many chances to embellish the story and make it detailed. The first perfect opportunity is when Herman is talking about his family and how he was left all alone. Sure, you tell us he was crying and ashamed and sad. But we want to see it? Can we see a glance of his expression? What does it show? What is it about the way he holds himself and moves that he is sad? Also when Herman recounts the day of watching the die, maybe mention how he can remember ever jagged breath he took as he hid. And he saw them find his hidden wife and children, and watched helpless as two people held him back and smiled as he watched the knife plunge into his wife's heart. And the criminals walked through the crimson blood and laughed at how they forced a man to watch his family being stolen away. We want to know how he fell to his knees at that time and cried until the blood and water mixed and dribbled into the street. Maybe even then you could relate his tears then to know.
As a reader, I felt like I wanted to know more about everything. Don't overdo the details because surely the speaker doesn't notice every little thing all the time. But they do hear, smell, touch, taste, see and feel. And I definitely want to know more on the feeling part!
Interested in seeing future chapters!
Deanie x
Hi! Here for a quick review!
Okay, so I don't really want to make the effort of going through and picking out every little thing that was wrong with this, so I'm going to name a few things that could help improve your novel.
-Your sentences are short and choppy, so your paragraphs don't flow very well. Try varying the sentence structure a little, as well as length. Commas and semi-colons can help a ton with this.
-Your descriptions leave something else to be desired. They're very simple, and don't necessarily bring images to mind. Make sure you use the five senses when you're writing about a scene, so that the reader can really be immersed into your work.
-Your dialogue is a bit awkward, and not always very realistic. You have people saying some awkward sentences, that they probably wouldn't bother with. Try reading your conversation out loud to yourself or to a friend, and if you wouldn't say that, or you would say it in a different way, then adapt your dialogue.
Overall, you've got good ideas with this, and they're pretty original, which is always the first step! Just needs a bit of editing to be brought to the next level.
Alright, hopefully this helps a bit! Let me know if you've got questions!
~*Hope