Sounds are colors
and the mind is a waltz
that dances to rhythms
only I can understand.
A path is formed that
twists and secludes me
around the burnt dusk of morning
where melodies are straining to be heard.
Thoughts are tunes
crafted in desperation
in order to provide further explanation
for the pale pitches of the world.
Wisdom and wit
collide in one being
and paint grand escapes
where creams are faded into grays.
Values combust and souls progress
in this world where we leave behind
the dust of desire, left only to be swept
under the cracks formed in the crevice of my mind.
What makes sound feel so cruel
is determined by the images I see
when emotion is piled into restless harmonies
that swirl into aimless patterns of noise.
The waves of color rush
when the refrains are belting,
and they toss their shades
into the never-ending darkness.
I pick up the fragments of a song
and brush off the blackened layers
in order to make sense of it all,
because sounds are colors.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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129,275 Literary Works • 671,501 Reviews
Yay, metaphors! I really like poems that use metaphoric language because they add symbolism to the whole thing!
Now, onto my review! Gummy's the name, reviewing's my game! Today, I'll be reviewing "Sounds are Colors" by Rothwise.
Awright, so, first things first, the grammar here is pristine, the theme is well-explained and uniform, and it captivated my attention for the entirety of the piece! Very good!
Digging deeper into what I liked, I especially loved the second stanza. I can relate to it because I use music (particularly instrumental) to drown out the dullness of life and to serve as my inspiration! I hope you understand.
There aren't any noticeable errors, so I guess that means I'll have to close this review right here!
Take care, keep writing, and remember that practice is key! I expect to read more from you in the near future!
Hi there Gummy! I'm so happy you're able to relate, and I completely understand what you mean about the second stanza and drowning out life with music...I often do the same and lose myself into music (whether I'm creating it or listening to it). Thanks so much for your review!
The fluidity is... refreshing.
"when emotion is piled into restless harmonies
that swirl into aimless patterns of noise"
My favorite lines by far, I can feel blending of harmonic music, color, and the emotions they evoke with a passionate intensity. And expressed within such few words! Thank you for that.
The one stanza that thew me off was
"Wisdom and wit
collide in one being
and paint grand escapes
where creams are faded into grays."
Unlike all the other stanzas, I just can't see the connection between "wit" and "grays". Yes, even creamy grays. Maybe I'm the only one who can't make the connection, but there you have it. It would ease my mind a bit, though, if you would be so kind as to explain it to me?
Well, I'm really glad you liked the piece, first off! For the stanza in question...when I wrote the piece (and I always consider my work to be in revision because I'm always revising and going back to rewrite misinterpreted parts or lines that I find later on don't fit the way I want them to) I didn't really intend for "wisdom and wit" to be connected in the way you're thinking to the creams that fade into grays. I think, when I wrote it, I meant more that the wisdom and wit are the parts of the mind that have the ability to craft such masterpieces and have the ability to be able to make sense of the world around us, and they do so together by focusing on allowing us to see the lighter sides of sound and life (the creams) and the darker sides (the grays). I didn't really intend for wit to be tied directly to grays, and I didn't even realize that it can be connected that way until you said so! Thank you for pointing that out to me, I'm still learning from my own work just as much as other people are haha! I hope my explanation made sense...It made sense in my head, it's just hard to write in words heh
This was amazing! The name of your poem just caught my eye. I really like how it feels like it's just flowing through my mind. Words can't explain how much i really like your poem. Great job!!
Thank you so much! You're kind to say so
thanks and your welcome
Wow. This poem is so... Poetical.
You did a great job using imagery, and it really draws the reader into the poem. I felt like I was watching this. It's beautifully written, and it lets the reader feel closer to the author, or at least I know I feel closer to you. Like I understand you.
It was smooth, but the one thing that bothered me- as little and stupid as it is- I felt thrown off balance with the different stanzas. My problem is that it would flow better if it had no spaces in between stanzas. But don't change it. It's perfect how it is. I just have issues. But, I had to read it three times because it was so beautiful, and I wanted to understand your poem.
I have a few favorite lines, so I'll post them.
This particular stanza- the last one- is one that I love. It's a perfect way to end it.
"I pick up the fragments of a song
and brush off the blackened layers
in order to make sense of it all,
because sounds are colors."
And I can fee the silence left when I read the last word. It made a huge impact. The last line was what really did it for me.
It was simple, yet it relayed so many emotions and I just loved it xD
Good Job, and keep writing ^^
Thank you so much...I'm actually incredibly grateful that you went back and read it three times to fully understand, that just means a lot to me that you were willing to do that. I actually originally didn't have any spaces in the stanzas, and I completely understand when you say it would make it flow better without the spaces, but I added in the spaces for the purposes of the website because I felt it would read better on here like that.
Thank you, seriously, this comment means a lot!
I actually really like this.
It's so...beautiful.
I like reading things like this.
Good job. :3
Thank you so much. That honestly means so much to me that you liked it!
You're quite welcome!