I am a Woman,
it is true.
I have what Society would call
Flaws.
I have what I would call
Functioning Body Parts.
My widow’s peak is already forming
and I’m only eighteen.
My eyes are too Large,
but at least they match my nose.
My top lip is Thin, the bottom Fat;
it’s a miracle I’m a good kisser.
I have a mole on my chin,
but let’s dub it a “Beauty Mark.”
My shoulders are Broad and Boney,
And my breasts are Too Wide
with that inch of space in-between them.
My hips were Made For Birthing,
but I guess it’s too bad I want to adopt.
My ass is Huge,
which makes skirts Whorishly Short.
My legs are unnecessarily Long,
in contrast to my Tiny torso.
My thighs could Kill People,
and so could my Giant’s Feet.
But hey.
At least I have an Awesome Personality.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,237 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
This was a very powerful poem indeed.
I like the points that you make, and give a positive spin to them in places, which really give the reader some sense of... reassurance? Very nice.
I enjoy how you wrote this, for girls and boys, telling them to not judge themselves by the way they look but love themselves. This was mainly portrayed in the last line which I liked a lot. Great work!
-CFG
I'm honestly really touched by your review, your feedback is encouraging and nice to hear, so thank you for that!
So I was instantly pulled into this, being a feminist. I like it; seeing as it has a lot of problems teenage girls everywhere are facing and being told they aren't perfect. I would put a heavier emphasis on how society views you, rather than just describing yourself. This was great though, I especially like the line with the breasts with the space between them and the child birthing hips, as they're very true and are seen as flaws.
Aha always good to hear from another feminist. I'm happy you liked it! And I definitely understand what you mean about a heavier emphasis on how society views me over my body...as I was writing I wanted to incorporate more of the societal view...but it just ended up with me leaning more towards the body.
Love the story! I like how you put on a tone of defiance in this which I find intriguing. To me it's saying "I am myself and can only be myself so deal with it" which I love! If people can't stand you then that's their problems which I also found was being said. And I like the details you give about your "flaws" pointing out what may be wrong with them or others find wrong. So overall I loved this story and I do hope you you continue making stories similar to rhis one relating to some so called problems relating to you or your life and such. Great story keep on writing but check for and errors in grammar first before publishing it!
Thanks!! I'm happy you liked it! I've always found motivational speaking and feminism to be close to my heart, and I like to get out my feelings through my poems sometimes, so I'm glad that you were able to pick up on my tone throughout and found it effective! That's nice to hear.
Were there any places, in specific, that you thought should be fixed grammatically? I always go over my pieces with a fine-toothed comb to make sure I don't have any errors, but I always seem to miss something.
Thanks again!
Your welcome! And I am not the best at grammar but I don't think you made grammatical mistakes except the capitalization in some words like"Fat" and "Giant's Feet. But you pointed out why you did it to the other commenter so no I do not see any grammatical errors. So keep on writing I'd lobe to read what you written!
Hey rothwise!
Rachel here to review!
This is so cute. When I say "cute," I don't mean that in a condescending way... I mean "cute" as in you're addressing a common and heavy issues with humor and lightheartedness. It made it easy to read.
You made this very relatable to girls our age-- at least, I felt it was relatable. I espeically related to these lines here:
and
I did have one question... why are you capitalizing phrases such as "Giant's Feet," and "Huge?" I was a little distracted with trying to figure out why these phrases all start with capital letters.
Great job, though! I always enjoy reading your work. I love how towards the end, readers can detect almost a sense of attitude/sass in your closing sentence. It's like you're saying "Hey, yeah, I'm not perfect. But whatever; I don't want to be. I'm freaking awesome."
Wonderful, as always.
Keep writing!
-Rae
Thanks Rachel! I'm glad you found it relatable - that's always good to hear! So the reason that I capitalized the descriptors like "Huge," "Made For Birthing," "Broad," etc is because I capitalized Society in the first stanza, and the capitalized words then throughout are how Society would describe my body as being. I hope that makes sense. Thanks for your review!
Oh! That makes sense. I get it now.