*Yes, for those who might ask, this is based off the movie, and upcoming movie, How To Train Your Dragon & How To Train Your Dragon 2. It's going to be about the same as the movie, except with my own Viking character in it, named Dagny, meaning (in Norse) 'new day started'. This is also taking the place of Story Of My Life. I hope you all enjoy my new story, and stay until the end.*
I looked back to the good old days...
Hiccup was bending metal for the first time, taught by the best blacksmith around, Gobber. I ran up to him, watching his craftsmanship take place. He always made the neatest things, most of them made to kill a dragon.
"Hey, Dagny, look what I just finished making," his eager voice rang out. He showed me a twisted piece of metal just big enough to go on my wrist. There was flecks of emerald mixed into the bracelet, and the sun bounced off those bits beautifully.
"Oh my gosh! This is amazing, Hiccup. Why did you make this?"
He hesitated, then said, "I... I made it for you, Dagny. I made one for me too. Just not so girly."
I slipped it on my small wrist. Hiccup gave me a large sheet of metal to use as a mirror. I held my arm next to my face. It matched perfectly with my auburn hair. It was in a fishtail braid off to the side that day.
"I'm never going to take this off!" I gave Hiccup a hug. He didn't push away, which was surprising to me. Maybe he did have feelings for me like I did for him. Gobbers husky voice burst through.
"Hiccup! Quit your fiddling! We have a class today. C'mon, lets get going."
"I'd better go..." Hiccup quickly kissed my cheek and was off. I touched where his lips impacted my face.
But that was years ago...
This is Berk. It snows nine months here and hails the other three. Not always the most fun. All I do all day is stay under the cover of my wood-built home, hiding from dragons. Yep, I said dragons. They may be some magical fairytale that lead you to the magic sugar castle, but in real life, they're ANYTHING but that. The four main dragons that attack Berk are: Monsterous Nightmares, Hideous Zipplebacks, Deadly Nadders, and Gronkles. They stole our sheep and burnt our homes for at least 300 years. We have wasted all that lumber and livestock, just to see our hard work go up in flames!? I mean that, too. At least I have somewhat friends... and I only know one of the six well. His name is Hiccup. He is an AMAZING blacksmith and could build just about anything. He is also the guy I have a huge crush on. The others are Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snoutlout. Hiccup is in love with either Astrid or me, Ruff and Tuff are twins, Fishlegs is the book-worm, and Snoutlout is... Snoutlout. Just to sum things up a bit; I was there when this all took place.
***
I threw on my favorite bracelet. With legs burning, I ran into the blacksmith shop, heard a mallet bang on a sword, and saw Hiccup looking up at me.
"Hey, Dagny. A little busy right now, as you can see." Hiccup said as he put away the sword.
"Yeah, I could tell." I replied, then changed the subject, "Why are the dragons attacking us THIS time? Did Stoick punch a Nadder in the eye again?"
"Hey! Enough about my dad, Dag."
"Well, sorry..."
A Monsterous Nightmare caught a house on fire in the background. Five teens walked out there with water buckets, then strolled off with the house behind them exploding. They were my somewhat friends, and Hiccups acquaintances, Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruff and Tuff, and Snoutlout.
"Their job is so much cooler..." Hiccup said out loud. "Please say something to get my mind off them."
Doing what Hiccup asked of me, I muttered "Stupid dragons. They just destroyed another house. MY GOSH, why are they so destructive!?"
"Hmm, maybe it's because they can breathe fire or lava and some have spines, but that's just a guess." Hiccup said with sarcasm.
"You know what I meant", I said with a giggle.
"Ok, I'm going to switch gears a little bit, if you don't mind me doing so. Look what I built!" Hiccup said while rolling out some big thing-a-ma-doo. "I'm going to catch that Night Fury if it's the last thing I do... which is why I want you to come with me."
"Oh gosh, Hiccup. In the name of Thor, you aren't going to catch it. I'm just coming to watch you fail."
"Thanks for all that encouragement... let's just go."
We ran to the side off Berk, the spot that the Night Fury always hits. Hiccup aimed his Night Fury catcher, and we waited. It wasn't too long before it came. If only it was daytime, I thought, then he could have a better aim. Hiccup shot, and a black object fell to the ground.
"Did anyone besides Dagny just see that!?" Hiccup burst out with a smile.
"Maybe he did..." I stuttered. I pointed at a Monsterous Nightmare who was towering over both of us. "Oh snap, Hiccup! Get out of the way!"
Hiccup quickly jumped out of the way, just when the Nightmare shot some flames at the totem pole behind us.
"RUN!" we shouted at each other. We ran through the town, then saw Stoick the Vast up ahead. He is the chief of Berk, and Hiccups father. He saw the Nightmare chasing us, grabbed it by the neck, and punched its fat head.
"Who let these two out?" Stoick questioned while looking at me and Hiccup.
"Sorry, Dad..."
"Sorry, sir..."
The next day, Hiccup and I went to the woods to see if we really had caught a Night Fury. We went one way, then another, then another, but we couldn't find the dang Night Fury. Hiccup drew X's over the spots that failed us.
"No, no, and no. The gods hate me." Hiccup said, disappointed.
"That's not true! If they hate anyone or anybody then it's both of us." I said back.
"Ok, why does that not make me feel better? Anyways, I'm going to try one last spot, then I'm done for the day."
"You tell me, and alright."
We walked past a broken down tree and a rock with claw marks. Then we saw it.
We caught a Night Fury.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,819 Reviews
Hola puppys3117 =)
This is really cool! I love anything dragons, especially HTTYD because those were the first books I read with good dragons in them. You did a great job adding another character in here without actually changing the plot too much yet (though I hope it changes a little further on!) and if you've watched the movie it's easy to follow too =) If you ever wanted to do this for people who have not watched the movie, I would suggest putting in some more description of the characters and dragons, but right now it's pretty nice as a fanfic of an awesome movie!
PS, if you love the movie, the books are an amazing read as well! They're by Cressida Cowell, and I've read all of them (though not in order yet =P) and they follow the adventures of Hiccup III, instead of the movies which, as I have come to theorize, are following the exploits of the first Hiccup.
Holy awesomeness. I've seen the first movie, but with a second character alongside with Hiccup is just... Wow. Cool story man!
thx :3
Holy awesomeness. I've seen the first movie, but with a second character alongside with Hiccup is just... Wow. Cool story man!
Knight r4 her to review this work, puppys. I certainly hope this helps!
this is just a little bit too telly.So let's get over the nitpicks that weren't mentioned already.
I think you might want to reword this it is kind of awkward. You may also want to take out the italics. Then you can Somehow show that the actual story is starting. This shouldn't be hard.
why isn't this in italics?
Who is the chief? You don't say.
Overall this was okay. But I didn't really feel any sense of urgency. You need to heighten the action. I think this could use some work. Happy writing!!!
uh, all that stuff u said wasn't a nitpick o,o it was supposed to be like this. italics for a flashback, no italics for dialogue, and I said Stoick the Vast before chief and Hiccups dad :/
Hey, puppys! I'm going to skip with grammar and punctuation, since most people have gotten that done.
So!
I agree with treepelt here: I love how you're making a fan fiction for this, yet you're adding a new character! Like, especially since you've added a huge character that is no doubt going to change this plot (I mean not totally but twists here and there).
All the capital words kind of bothered me. Personally, I would just stick with italics or a simple dialogue tag that says "they shouted". And an exclamation mark can do the trick, too. But if it's not in dialogue or someone yelling, I would just use italics.
I really would like to see a little more emotion. Just a little. You're doing good so far, though, with the sarcasm, but I want to know what Dagny feels like when she is around Hiccup. Or why she likes him. Also, I want to know how Dagny and Hiccup met. Maybe a flashback of their childhood, or however they met.
For me I would consider this hard to write because it's about dragons, and dragons move fast , and they're deadly too, with fire breath or poisonous tails and whatnot. But so far you're doing great with writing it and explaining it!
Great job!
WillowPaw1~
PS How many times have you seen the movie? It seems like you know a lot .
thx :3 and watching the movie about... *counts on fingers and toes how many times I watched the move* XD what I mean is watching the movie so many times helps me out with this
and I will try and do what u suggested so meh readers can be Happy Ducks 
ok I added a small flashback of their pre-teen years (since their in their teens here like 13, 14, or 15 years old)
Ooh I like it!
:3 yey!
Hey there, hon! I absolutely LOVE this movie, and I'm so glad you're writing fanfiction for it. So far, I like the idea of the original plot with Hiccup having a friend. It does make it a different story, so keep that in mind and don't be afraid to change some plot points to fit the idea (i.e. it's harder to keep Toothless a secret if two people know about him).
Now...about the introduction. I know that the movie opened up with something similar, so I like how you're trying to keep with the style. The problem that I have with a fairly flat monologue like that is that you have no movie playing under the narration to watch while we listen. Works well in theaters, not so much in writing. Just keep that in mind for the rest of the story.
I'd also like to know more about Dagny, since she's just kind of plopped in the story like we're supposed to know who she is. Could you give us some background on her? Why is she friends with Hiccup?
"Just to sum things up a bit; I was there."
A pretty confusing line. What does that mean, exactly?
Seems like everyone else has covered grammar, so I just want to say that what you need is details, details, details! Everything moves very fast without a lot of time to dwell on the setting or the characters or simple things like body language. I know you say you're not the best at it, but now's a good time to practice. So far, I'm interested in the story! Going to read the next chapter now. :3 Keep it up!
thx
and the next chapter is pretty short (sorry got writers block) and needs more description, so I might wanna fix that first 
Hey, CesareBorgia, here for a review!
I liked this chapter, but there are many nitpicks I have. I now that you're a new writer and all, so this is new to you.
This is a poor introduction. I would start it like,
The idea of writing is show not tell. You have to show us the details of the area, not give it to us like that.
Also, this is a fanfic, right, meaning it isn't supposed to be exactly like the movie. The idea of Fanfiction is to use the same general idea of the original creator, and incorporate new characters and a new plot.
Again,
His catcher thing? If you don't know what it's called, then don't use it. If the chapter is in first person, he can't possibly know what the other person is thinking.
There are alot of things you need to improve in this chapter. Take the time to make good descriptions, when you do, PM me.
Best of luck in writing,
CesareBorgia,
signing out.
This is a poor introduction. I would start it like,
you could start out with: "This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three."
That's better!
ok thx :3 im bad with detail so ya lol
Hi pup. This caught my eye. (You really should mark this as fan fiction. Otherwise this may be taken for copyright.)
Nitpicks
Spoiler
three hundred years
1. How about and farmed all those crops
2. Take out the comma.
Two things for dialogue. Choose one and chuck the other.
Again with the dialogue indicators. Chuck one and keep the other.
Possession: Hiccup's father
Capitalize I'm
I'm going to have to be the bad cop here. This is basically plagiarism. You are copying the plot of the movies. All that is different is that you added another character. If you are going to do a fan fiction, fine, but this can not be. You are going to have to restart to avoid plagiarism.
Keep writing,
-lost
omg I didn't know it would be copyright x.x thx for telling me, and it was only like the movie for this first chapter. as I go on, I will make it more original, but I will totally fix that issue and make it fan fiction. thx :3
ok I made it fan fiction so I wont get arrested (even though im too young to XD)
Hi Puppies. Dogsrule5 here to review!!!
First of all I found not many mistakes, and if there were nitpicks then you are very smart ot point them out yourself!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Second. I thought this was really awesome!! I know it may seem like a copy of How to Train Your Dragon, but really it's not. To me it's completely different, but I still like it!!
(I like it better than the real thing)!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TALK TO YOU LATER!!!!
LOVE,
DOGSRULE5
yay! and to hear that u like my book MORE than the real thing, makes me REALLY happy, because the real thing is AMAZING!!!
thx a bunches