I was the child.
The one who was stolen
and was put on a plane
which was going to Poland.
...
They were the captors.
The ones who broke my bones,
and who left me starving,
and my ribs were shown.
...
He was the hero.
The one who called the cops.
Now the captors are in prison,
wiping the floor with mops.
...
I was Stacy, the kidnapped girl.
The one that was saved
by a 10 year old boy
so I wouldn't be enslaved.
...
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140,433 Literary Works • 673,186 Reviews
You really described what was happening to the girl- I love it! The only thing that caught my eye was that the last rhyming words "saved" and "enslaved" didn't really rhyme in my opinion. Just like you to know what I thought.
All different words you used were good, too.
What other things I'd say:
The grammar was perfect! Not a single thing that was mis- spelled.
The topic made me feel emotional- it was sad!
These were all my compliments about this poem... Wait. One more: outstanding.
I hope all the compliments I have you helped you!
~Sunset101
ya I know that 'enslaved' and 'saved' don't rhyme that well, but my brain is lazy on Sunday and it was the only thing I could think of XD is there something else that u can think of that rhymes better with 'enslaved' or 'saved'? and thx for liking it ^_^
I'll think about it. =D
kk
Great job! I totally had the feeling of mild sadness and pity for the girl, and hear the sad voice of someone reciting it. Yay!
I really love your rhyming here. (I always love rhyming.) You rhymed every segment perfectly except for the last one:
I was Stacy, the kidnapped girl.
The one that was saved
by a 10 year old boy
so I wouldn't be enslaved.
...
saved and enslaved rhyme okay, but it's the syllables in the last line that worry me.
Overall, touching poem, keep writing more!
~ WillowPaw1
it was the only thing I could think of (maybe cuz my brain is lazy on Sunday XD) and thx for liking it!
Oh my stars this is so unique, creative, original and PERFECT! Great work!
I saw no spelling or grammar errors. (There was no slang XD) And you were so creative. I have seen books and short stories about this but never a poem yet until I saw yours. I LOVE POEMS LIKE THIS!!!! I love the way you chose the words and how you made it rhyme. This poem would be good with or without rhyming words however. I loved it make more poems or I shall be sad!!! XD
~Em101cats~
lol that's what I said on ur poem! remember this?: 'MAKE MORE POETRY OR I SHALL CRY XD'