Wind currents
Blow against my skin
Like waves of the ocean.
I am engulfed and dry,
In tides of societal opinion.
By dromedary air in the winter
Evergreen wreaths and candy canes
waft beneath my frigid nostrils.
The radio breathes shortly
In torrents like the gusty Atlantic
Over my mind they crash
And empty my thoughts,
A spilling basin of lucidity.
December, where nostalgia thrives
In the ears and hearts of many
By means of pagan holidays and
Fruitless traditions – my love –
it’s awe-inspiring propaganda.
Poking a finger through pockets,
They feel blindly through change.
Audacity speaks and I listen,
“Embrace the humid season,
Warm your loved ones’ hearts,
Gift them in due solstice.”
Welcome the new year to desultory vows.
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,010 Reviews
Hello penfeme~
This is MergSword here with a review!
Grammar Issues and Other Errors
Lately, I've been caling out this error a lot, and I apologize if I sound somewhat rude. This error being the lack of punctuation in some areas, and punctuation in others. I cannot stress enough how much this bothers me, and if there is not punctuation separating two lines, it might as well just be one line.
The Pros of this Poem
I like the way that since this poem was written in the season it is about, we could look at it later on to remember the season of the holidays, and of winter, which would give us a feeling of nostalgia (which as you said in your poem "December, where nostalgia thrives)
The Cons of this Poem
I wasn't quite a fan of the very last stanza and it was very difficult to understand. Also in the first stanza, you compared a breeze to ocean waves. I understood what you were trying to say, but the breeze and waves are exact opposites, and not a very good compare.
My Overall Opinion
I liked the poem, but it was difficult to understand and comprehend correctly. However I could easily restate all the pros in this section, because it was a pleasant read, and fun reviewing!
~Keep on Writing
Thank you, kindly!
And I agree with the punctuation thing very much so, it's just that sometimes lines seem to read better without them.
Hi penfeme, Felistia here with the review you requested.
I will start with the bad and work my way to the good.
So first nit-pick would be the last line in the poem. It is quite a bit longer than the other lines and breaks up the flow just a bit. It isn't a big problem. That is the only nit-pick that I can find and it was really hard to find.
So now for the goods. The hook that you present in the beginning of the poem is excellent and draws the reader in wonderfully. Your description in here is beautiful and you use a wide array of colours and complex words in here that make the poem all the more interesting. The punctuation in my eyes is perfect and I can't find any spelling mistakes. I really like the whole feel of the poem and it was a pleaser to read. Well done and I look forward to more of your work. I hope I was helpful and I wish you a great day\night.
Yes, the ending bothers me a little. I just can't figure out a way to say what I want say without using those exact words :/. Anyway, thank you so much for your review!