Two-toned emotions,
Blurred definitions of morals and stakes.
I breathe them in all at once.
The darkness, the light, my fate.
Two-toned impulsions,
A war within my heart,
conscience and flesh.
I see so very clearly,
Everything is dark,
I have nothing left.
Missed target of fatality,
She never knew it then.
But youth is vigor,
And the lack thereof.
To find within oneself,
Resolve and peace;
An epiphanic death.
Arise, oh futile slumberer,
Time is an illusion,
You have no control,
Let it go.
Let it go, dear.
Let it slip from your veins,
From your palms,
Let it ride the train of no return,
Believe me,
There is no freedom in gain,
Set the caged ravens free,
And then perhaps you will see…
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140,106 Literary Works • 673,010 Reviews
Hello! This is a great poem! So I'm ILoveBooks and I'm gonna review this thing for Review Day!
Anyway Happy Review Day to you!
It been a while since I last review which was like months ago from August Review Day I think or was it September. Yeah I forgot what month is it. So yeah, please bare with me with this long review. Sorta. And I happen to stumble upon your poem which got my attention and interest.
First of all before I start my review, I just want to congratulate for writing something like this. I'm very proud of people who write such great and fascinating poems like this that has amazing perspective.
I saw that you are just new so congrats for being a part of YWS! It so great to meet you. I hope you enjoy it here.
Now shall we start the review?
First of all, The title got my curiosity. It get the best of me especially when the time that I wonder what could this poem be all about or what will be this story tell the readers. So I just randomly click one and just read it with full feelings. And I am not shock that this is great. Because one thing you need for sure is readers that are amaze by your masterpiece. And a great title. That's very important for my own opinion.
Bewildered is great title. It fit the topic and subject of the story.
Speaking of the topic, it was also great. It shows deep perspective of someone or something. That's another one of the most important thing. Emotions from the writer and the amount of emotions express by your own readers. That's another plus point
Your flow of story is great. No problem at all. Same goes to your grammars, spelling and punctuation marks. No problem at all. You writing format is great. So keep that up.
The message of the poem.is poetically and has the figurative language. I love those kind of poems so much. It shows deep meaning and all stuff. It's okay for me not using rhyming words because it expresses more. But at the end you use ryhming which was an addition plus point for your great poem writing skills. Bravo for that!
That's all for now. I hope you continue writing such great poems! Keep this up! And I'm excited for upcoming poems.
Happy Review Day again!
-ILoveBooks out.
Thank you!! And Happy Review Day to you as well.
Hey! So I just wanted to let you know that I really love this poem. The problem I have with my writing is finding a way to word my message poetically, and I feel you have done that beautifully here. I love the use of figurative language scattered throughout the poem. Also, I liked how the last two lines rhymed even though the rest of the poem didn't. It reminds me of how in some Shakespearean plays (such as Macbeth), the last couplet of a soliloquy may rhyme so it sticks out to the readers. The last two lines of your poem stuck out to me the same way, which I like, since they were my favorite lines. Overall there isn't really criticism that I have... this is really great. Keep up the good work!
-Emily
Hey! So I just wanted to let you know that I really love this poem. The problem I have with my writing is finding a way to word my message poetically, and I feel you have done that beautifully here. I love the use of figurative language scattered throughout the poem. Also, I liked how the last two lines rhymed even though the rest of the poem didn't. It reminds me of how in some Shakespearean plays (such as Macbeth), the last couplet of a soliloquy may rhyme so it sticks out to the readers. The last two lines of your poem stuck out to me the same way, which I like, since they were my favorite lines. Overall there isn't really criticism that I have... this is really great. Keep up the good work!
-Emily
Hi and thank you for reviewing my poem! And ha, yes, Shakespeare is an influence of mine. I was thinking of a Shakespearean sonnet when I wrote the last two lines. Oh and it seems you accidentally commented three times so I just replied to the one marked as a review.
Haha sorry about that, my computer glitched out and I couldn't delete the extra replies. I'm so glad I'm not the only young writer who loves Shakespeare- my friends think I'm the only one haha.
Hey! So I just wanted to let you know that I really love this poem. The problem I have with my writing is finding a way to word my message poetically, and I feel you have done that beautifully here. I love the use of figurative language scattered throughout the poem. Also, I liked how the last two lines rhymed even though the rest of the poem didn't. It reminds me of how in some Shakespearean plays (such as Macbeth), the last couplet of a soliloquy may rhyme so it sticks out to the readers. The last two lines of your poem stuck out to me the same way, which I like, since they were my favorite lines. Overall there isn't really criticism that I have... this is really great. Keep up the good work!
-Emily