YOUR LITTLE SON
This is a letter to my father
A letter to my mother,
This a letter to my family,
A letter to all those
Who love me.
I never knew you
And always craved you.
At the darkest hours of my life,
I wanted you, to shed my tears with,
I needed you dear father,
To hold my little hand,
I needed you dear mother,
To sympathize along with me,
Even if I was whipped,
Even if was cursed,
I would bear it,
For it is you, those who love me.
I know you left me for your
Own reasons, and they
Must have been important
Because I know you loved me.
I forgive you.
I try to make my life easier.
I sleep on the hard floor,
Pillowed by my make-believe memories of you
And I imagine I'm covered with a blanket,
Crafted by your love.
But no matter how hard I try,
Imagining can't help make me
Forget the fact,
That I have no arm around my shoulder,
That I have now caressing hand on my head,
My heart is hungry for your love,
My eyes are starving for your sight
My cheeks are waiting for a kiss,
And deep within my heart,
I have a haunting suspicion,
That you have forgotten
Your little son who
You left on the cold dirty streets,
But fear not dear mother,
And fear not dear father,
I have not forgotten you
And I wait patiently for you.
-Your little son
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
wow, I adore this. Great concept, great tone, well written. Just a few suggestions:

This is a letter to my father,
A letter to my mother.
This a letter to my family-
A letter to all those
Who love me.
-Just made a few punctuation changes here to make it sound a little better.
For it is you, those who love me.
I know you left me for your
Own reasons, and they
Must have been important
Because I know you loved me.
- I would tweak this a little, to get rid of the repetition of "love me" in such a short space.
Imagining can't help make me
- I'd get rid of "make" here.
That I have now caressing hand on my head,
- Now should be no.
You left on the cold dirty streets.
- Changed the comma to a full stop.
So yeah, good work, I really like this. Keep writing!