Touching Me

"When you touch me
it feels like rain
running down my spine
like a thunderstorm in mid-July"

these lines seemed quite sensual to me. very neat word choice bound in simplicity.

"You look at me
like I'm perfect,
but the only perfect person is you."

here the poet starts saying the same common things we hear everyday that you're perfect and I'm not or you're a better person than me and stuff like that. it looks quite simple and to say honestly looks a bit flimsy

"I lose it when your arms
wrap around my waist
so safe and secure,
there is nothing like you touching me. "

the first three lines are really good. the poet describes an intimate moment with good delicacy. but the fourth sentence doesn't seem to fit. it just looses the delicate poise of its former three.

" Every pore of my body opens to your love,
it engulfs me perfectly.
Moving on is no longer a option,
I'm frozen to this spot in eternity."

almost perfectly constructed four set of lines. but again i feel a little cliche reading it.

"
The world stops when our hands meet,
it's pure electricity.
The intesity scares me,
we are so young,
but who cares?"

the first couple of lines truly left me with awe. they were great. In the third line, I think you meant intensity instead of "intesity". but the last two seemed detached as the poet starts questioning in similes.

"When you touch me nothing matters,
It's just you and me.
Love makes sense with you in it,
especially when you're kissing me, holding me, loving me."

here it just becomes repetitive. you feel like you're going over the same things.

"With you in my life
never will I cry
hand in hand we can do anything.
Thats why my life revolves around you touching me."

here I myself am a bit confused because the poet annoyingly proclaims that he'll never cry in life because he's got this "you" but why does it all revolve for that reason in this "you" touching the poet?

over all, it was an enjoying piece and except for a couple of parts i really liked it. i hope you keep on writing. peace.