16+ Language Mature Content

Ashura: A World of Sword and Magic Chapter 7

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.

The next day came. I woke up and got ready for breakfast. Thanks to the Faldrum's having a lot of spare rooms, Keya and I could sleep in separate beds. Thank god! I didn't want another repeat of what happened in Kor and we didn't have enough money for compensation.

Well…let's get this day started.

For some reason, I couldn't help but shake this awful feeling of gloom. Almost like something was coming. Last night, I had dreams of a dark shadow, wrapping its hands around my body before it consumed me into a black abyss filled with horrifying creatures and malformed abominations, tearing me limb from limb as I screamed for it to end.

I gasped when I heard a knock on the door. The sound brought me out of my recollection.

"Hey pervert! Time to get up! Breakfast has already been prepared! Stop having wet dreams and get out here!" Grimhilda's voice appeared behind the door.

"Alright! Already! I'll be out as soon as I get dress! You half-pint!" I snapped. I felt my blood boiled as a cross-shaped vein formed on the side of my head.

The door slammed again. This time, it was louder than before with cracks forming on the wood as she irate loudly, "What did you call me?!" her tone scared the crap out of me.

After getting dressed, I headed out and climbed down the stairs, and straight into the dining room where I saw all Keya and the two dwarves sitting together, eating on plates made of jade. Keya and Grimhilda were at the front of the table, sitting face-to-face while they ate. I was surprised that there wasn't any comebacks or yelling towards one another. However, the two would pause and glare before they resumed. The old man, however, looked blissful as he ate, either unaware of the animosity of the two or pretending to be oblivious.

I sat at the end of the table. There was a plate with food already in front of me. What was strange was that it was filled with just meat like sausages, stake, blood pudding, large strips of bacon, and there was even a turkey leg. There was enough meat on that plate to clog my arteries with fat. Having played a lot of games, I know that dwarves love meat and potatoes, which might be another reason why elves don't like them.

"Glad you made it here, Akio," said the old man. "I would like you to know that your sword is nearly complete."

"That's great!" I smiled ecstatically.

The old man grinned, taking amusement from my excitement. He continued, "Ay. It was easy to seal the cracks. However, It took me all night to replace the hilt and refashioned the handle as it had withered and rusted for years. So, I'll probably have it ready in the early evening." His tone was very casual throughout the sentence.

I deadpanned and pointed out, "So…it's going to another couple of hours, huh?"

His lenient response had gotten to my nerves. Luckily, I was able to shrug it off. It didn't hurt to wait for a couple of hours.

"In the mean time, you and your friend can stay and help around the shop. We can use some new blood to help with the sells, especially since we have a cute elf girl with us," he offered cheekily.

Keya's spit take was heard. She turned, facing the old man with red cheeks, yelling, "I beg your pardon?!" she took offense to Tornstein's remark. Unfortunately, despite looking angry, many of us couldn't help but chuckle at her flushed face.

Waving his hand, the old man smiled with a giggle. He corrected, "please, don't take it the wrong way, Ms. Aieadora. I meant that with such a pretty young lady, we could attract more customers to our shop with such a beautiful smile."

"Gee! Thanks grandpa! I was sure I had a beautiful smile, but I guess that misunderstanding is cleared up!" deadpanned Grimhilda sarcastically. She slouched with frown and a scowl.

"Well, I can't help but say such things to a pretty lady. Besides, with your attitude, we keep losing customers," admonished Tornstein as he scolded his granddaughter.

The dwarf girl growl as she became angry. She slammed her hands on the table and roared, "Well, excuse me for trying to make more money in this rat heap! I can't help but try to squeeze some extra coins from those misery rich folks who walk in and take advantage for your charity!"

"That may be the case, but you don't have to scare them away every time you try to haggle them, or even threaten them when you accuse them of looking down your bodice!"

I remained silent and ignored their bickering while eating my delicious, albeit overcooked breakfast. Keya, on the other hand, was still flustered and in a daze. I guess she's unable to take so much complimentary in a single day.

1:30PM…

After breakfast, the costumers appeared in the shop. If you want to know, the shop is located in the back of the shop, and it was quite small. I was standing in front of the counter, taking people's money as they bought the merchandise. Unfortunately, Grimhilda was my co-cashier and working with her was extremely strenuous.

"Hey! You touch it; you buy it!" she barked at a costumer who was holding a war hammer.

Seeing the dwarf girl's snarling expression terrified the young woman, causing her to dash out as she screamed in fright. Her grandfather was right. She does scare the costumers away.

Keya, on the other hand, was doing okay by herself. All she had to do was stand in front of the store and look pretty.

"This is unacceptable!"

Like as if on queue, Keya stormed in with fury in her eyes. She walked up to the counter her face turning tomato while stuttering in embarrassment.

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad," I remarked.

Puffing her cheeks, she turned her attention to me in consternation. She shouted, "Not that bad?! Not that bad?! Look at what I'm wearing!"

She wasn't kidding. Right when I got a better look, my face turned red as blood shot out of my nose. Right in front of me, she was dressed in a French maid outfit that was extremely provocative. I mean, the skirt length was too short, which gave a better view of her panties.

Silk and frilly…

The top was a little small, tightly hugging her breasts and amplifying her cleavage. Lastly, she was wearing black stockings that wrapped smoothly around her legs and black high-heels over them.

The sight of it was too much for me. The blood wouldn't stop dripping out of my nose and I was about to pass out from blood loss. Keya looked worried and disturbed by it, reaching in to ask, "What's wrong".

Holding my hands out, I stopped her while shielding my eyes from gazing below her neck. I had never seen the outfit the old man gave her. So, I just assumed it was professional attire. I didn't think Tornstein was a dirty old man.

"Okay! I get it! It's revealing!" I exclaimed.

Unless there's a maid café in town, I didn't want to know why that old man had such an outfit, but I could guess it was for something…weird. I snapped my neck to Grimhilda with bulging eyes. She looked jaded; her scowl was obvious. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to Keya and tried my best not to stare.

She asked in distress, "It's too revealing! Is there anyway I can gather costumers without wearing this harlot getup?!"

She covered her arms around, doing her best to hide any visible parts of her body while quivering at the various eyes beamed all over her.

"I didn't know the elf was so easily embarrassed," Grimhilda mused sardonically.

Keya glared, as her cheeks got redder. "Yes! I'm embarrassed and if you were in my shoes, you'd feel embarrassed as well!"

She was right, there was a much better way to attract customers without that much fanservice. On the other hand, it seemed to have worked as the more Keya stood in that maid cosplay outside of the shop, the more costumers it attracted. That included the pervs that only stuck around to harass the poor elf girl.

After I told her, "I'll see what I can do," I stood up and sprinted out of the shop and into the main house. Before I left, I got a glimpse at Keya's alleviated smile. I looked throughout the entire house, hoping to find Tornstein, so to convince him to get Keya out of that maid outfit. That's when I noticed a trap door in the middle of the hallway.

I knew I shouldn't intrude, but I shrugged and proceeded climbing down. After I set my food on the dirt-covered floor, I turned around and gasped, feeling my jaw nearly dropping to the ground. Right in front of me was an underground forger. It had everything. There was an anvil on the right, a forge in the center, and a water trough in the back, and a tool carrying rack on the left.

Tornstein was sitting on a stool as struck his hammer against a heated blade on his anvil, wearing protective goggles while sparks flew from the metal and struck his face. Once he finished, he grabbed his tongs and brought the blade to the trough, submerging it as it cooled and steamed began to fester.

"Oh, Akio. I didn't think you would come down here," said the old man in mild befuddlement. He was done cooling the blade and resumed hitting it again with his hammer.

I looked around in awe and asked, "What is this place?"

"This! Dear Boy! Is the Faldrum's family smithy where every weapon produced in the shop originates and all done by these hands!" said the old man, holding his hands up to show the burns and scars.

The sight raised my eyes, but I shook it off and returned to being stoic. It explained why there was a chimney pipe leading straight underground. I walked further with my hands in my pockets. I noticed an ax with a skull hanging on the wall. It had an ominous and eerie aura, almost like it was bathed in the essence of something evil.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing at the ax.

The old man turned and looked back. He answered straightforwardly, "Oh, that is the ax of Amon, one of the 7 generals of the Dark Lord. I found it on the battlefield a few years ago and, since then, I hung it up on my forges wall to give me inspiration while I work. Although, sometimes, it does give me nightmares, but…it's worth it."

"So, what is it that you need?" the old man added inquisitively.

Scratching the back of my head, I asked in a fastidious manner, "Keya's becoming too unnerved by the outfit you gave her. Would it be alright if she changed out of it into something more…comfortable for her?"

The old man rubbed his beard while he pondered the thought.

Then he inquired quizzically, "Why would she not like it? I thought she would enjoy wearing the maid outfit because it would make her look cute. Also, I assumed a woman of her noble stature wouldn't mind the attention she was receiving."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…Keya is of noble blood. So, it would make sense that she wouldn't mind the attention."

I had known the elf girl for three days, and I doubt she likes the attention, especially the attention she's receiving at the moment. In fact, she downright despises it. Even while traveling, she tried to act humble at best, despite sounding a bit condescending at times.

I glared. Crushing the bridge between my eyes, I looked back and crossed my arms. I corrected the old man in an analytical manner, "Mr. Faldrum, Keya is not like that. She's very reserved about herself and doesn't like the attention. She hates being in that maid costume and doesn't like the stares she's getting, nor the groping she's receiving."

My face grimaced, recalling a time a man slyly grabbing Keya by the butt before pulling back. Frankly, I wanted to punch the guy, but Keya's shocked reaction told me, "no", so not to make a scene.

I then heard the old dwarf chuckle. I turned back and arched an eye.

"Sorry! Sorry! It's just that when you're my age, you start to lose sight of people's character!" he remarked in a jovial manner. "Tell your friend she can get out of that wretched thing. I don't know why I keep my wife's old costume."

I…didn't need to hear that. Anyways, after nodding my head in confirmation, I proceeded up the stairs and back into the shop. My eyes furrowed in irritation from watching Keya having her skirt flipped upward by a young fat man in a brown tunic. I could tell she was holding back the urge to slap him, but still clenched her hands in restraint.

Once she calmed down and the pervert left, I strolled over and told her the news, which brought her much relief as she dashed out of the shop to go change. She came back, 20-minutes-later, into her old clothes.

"Huh? You changed out of that quickly. What? Did the elf girl not like to be gazed by horny men?" Grimhilda spoke up humorously, letting out a loud chuckle while receiving a glare from Keya.

"I'll have you know, wearing that suit was the most excruciating experience of my life, having all those men groping me and touching me in places I didn't want touch!" Keya countered, crossing her arms and staring daggers at the dwarf girl.

"Yeah! Well! I guess I'm fortunate I was born a dwarf because no cretin would dare touch someone like me! Then again, I'm surprise no one ever groped me since I do have the best curves!" Grimhilda mocked in a condescending manner.

Keya fumed as the dwarf girl grinned and posed. I couldn't help but chuckle at their squabble. It was like watching two sisters bickering over who is prettier than the other, or a pair of cats fighting over a can of tuna. The patrons started to take some amusement from their little comical routine.

Suddenly…I gasped. I felt a dark presence looming over the fiber of my body. I lost balance in my body as I staggered and fell. Luckily, I managed to keep myself from tumbling over by lifting my body on the counter. My eyes bulged in horror and my breathing became frantic. I felt the beads of sweat falling from my brow and dripping onto the wooden floor.

Keya and Grimhilda stopped their bickering and turned their attention to me. Reaching her arm, Keya gingerly walked over and placed her hand on my back.

"Akio…are you alright?" she asked with a concerned expression.

Crossing her arms and arching a brow, Grimhilda's observed the look on my face, saying while rubbing her chin, "Yeah, you kind of look a little pale." She didn't sound entirely worried, but more in a half-heated sense.

It was a feeling like no other. It was something dark, something evil, and something horrendous that was coming our way. Then, I heard a scream. Getting back my footing, I dashed out of the house with Keya and Grimhilda following behind me. We all stopped and stared wide-eyed at what was before us. A cloud of darkness over the city as the dead started climbing over the walls, and tried to penetrate through the city's front gates, not even caring that they were closing. Citizens were running rampant in mass hysteria, retreating to any safe house and barricading themselves inside while the city guards fended themselves against the decaying horde.

I stood frozen still. I couldn't move, and I wasn't the only one. Keya and Grimhilda were stuck in place, as well, trying to comprehend the situation before hand. All I could think was: What the hell is going on!?

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
occymay
Review

Hello again!

Sorry this is so late but the last review day left me completely drained! Overall another good chapter though I feel that it could be a lot better with some improvements.

Positives-
You showcase your characters very well throughout your story so keep that up because it very effective. The dialogue is also good, it showcases the characters very well, however there are some areas in which it could do some improving. For this just read it aloud and consider whether you would hear it in real life and you should be fine. There was also a good plot within the chapter and it was kept throughout the piece.

Improvements-
Once again this chapter suffers greatly from show and don't tell. I think I spoke about this in a previous review but I feel there is a lot of it in this chapter and it's holding this chapter back. It stops the end from having the same impact, it's taking away the tension. This is because your telling the reader what is going rather than showing it too us. This is a really difficult concept to understand so it will probably be quite a struggle to edit but trust me it's worth it. There are also spelling errors in this and some simple grammar mistakes but these will probably be easy to find when you go back over.

This could be a very good chapter with editing, when it comes to show and don't tell don't rush through it, it will take a while but it will be worth it. Keep writing ^_^

User avatar
Dracula
Review

And... it's me again, back for the latest chapter! :D

Thank god! I didn’t want another repeat of what happened in Kor and we didn’t have enough money for compensation.
I'm wondering, is there a god in this? Or are there multiple gods, or no gods? Since this is written in first person, you really need to make sure that there's no references to our[i] world and everything is related to Akio's world. I noticed this in an earlier chapter, when you compared their eyes to anime. But surely anime doesn't exist the story, so that doesn't make any sense.

I can’t help but try to squeeze some extra coins from those misery rich folks who walk in and take advantage for your charity!”
Nitpick- folks take advantage [i]of
your charity.

Right when I got a better look, my face turned red as blood shot out of my nose.
I'm interested to know why blood drips from his nose when he's embarrassed! That's an odd thing to happen, does it happen to everyone of his race?

Though this chapter gave a good look into Keya's character, I don't think it progressed the plot very well. Except for the last few paragraphs, of course. Perhaps one of the men Keya encountered could foreshadow the dead soldiers, or even be a dead soldier. Maybe Akio finds something he shouldn't in the forge? Just something to add to the story a bit more.

That's me done! Thanks for sharing your story so far, I enjoyed going through it. :)


Image

since my story is suppose to be animesque, there are a lot of anime tropes. for example, the bloody nose is a common anime trope where if someone is sexually aroused, then they blood from the nostrils.

Also, there are gods in Ashura as each race has their own monotheistic or polytheistic god. Akio being from Earth references some aspects of his world when narrating, at times, but when conversing with others, he tries keeping it to himself as to remain the amnesiac.

Ah, okay. Thanks for clearing that up!

New chapters for Ashura have been posted



People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right.
— Albus Dumbledore