Young Writers Society

This is Kaos here for a review.

I liked this one a lot better than your work "honeymoon", and I'll tell you why now. This is something that has a clear theme, and that's okay, but it's told through something beautiful and has imagery tied to it. The repetition with the colon was a little much and I thought you could end your lines a little sooner? It's more so that the lines are quite soft in their tone and I wanted something more powerful.

The whole thing with the "fit to be perfect for your taste" is something that I really wanted expanded on because it's one of those things that could be potentially hard-hitting with the speaker being the taste of who the poem is being addressed to. This could also tie in the theme of "I'm not here for you" or the "I'm not your toy" which I think would work well into the poem if you chose to add that theme in. The poem also kind of has the theme running through it that the speaker's emotions are made by the other person though this has a bit of a toxic relationship but I don't know if that was intended.

Another thing that I wanted to mention is line delivery and impact. This is something that I think you should focus on more because it's one of your strengths. The tone of the poem was nice but I was kind of hoping or wanting more imagery like maybe the mention of a silver spoon or more set-up of the atmosphere with that. You earned yourself a new watcher for this, so keep experimenting, writing, reading, reviewing, and have a great day!

This is a beautiful poem. ^-^

Hey Hey DEEPROSES!

how you doing? Ready for a review?

First of all: WOW. seriously!

Although I hate the taste of coffee, I loved the taste of this!

I'm not very good at reviewing poems, so bare with me, okay?

"My moods come in many forms-many flavors-like coffee" is the best way to start this. well done. It's gripping and makes you want to read more.

The comparative in between you and Coffee is well set, short, but sweet. My favorite line is, "to make me hot, a scalding burn against your tongue, or cold, easier to handle but leaves you shivering." The idea that either all of you, the fresh, happy, pumped up, will "scar" you because it shows all of you. You will be remembered. Or "cold", mild, old, flavorless, won't be seen, is better fit for society, better to swallow, better to forget. Easier to forget.

I hope this made any sense, it might since it's your poem, but if it doesn't, just tell me. I'm a very confusing person! hahahah.

Love,
Lau