Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and mature content.
Hello everybody. I'm back for my annual chapter xD. No, but seriously. I've jumped back in and I hope I still have some readers who are interested. The story is just getting interesting and I'm excited to tell more. Sorry for the cliffhanger in advance (okay maybe I'm not that sorry.)
Reviews/Comments are greatly appreciated.
-GossipGirl
We are just starting to get into the kiss, hands roaming each other's bodies when I hear muffled voices from down the hall.
"Shit, shit shit!" I panic
"Cole, get under the bed" I whisper.
He glances at me with a confused look, stepping away from our entwined bodies.
"What?" He questions.
"Just do it" "-Now". I shout.
I push him away and he scrambles for under the bed when I see the door handle shifting. I quickly shift some papers and frames so it actually looks like I'm doing something. The door opens and my mom pops her head in.
"Good morning hunny" she beams
"Ergh, Hello" I reply
"Your Father and I just wanted to check in on you. Make sure you're doing okay" She says with a tight smile.
Ever since the accident she always acts as if I'm going to break too. I reassure her I'm fine and when the door shuts I drag Cole from underneath the bed.
"Phew" I feign wiping my hand across my head.
He looks at me and laughs that beautiful beaming smile of his. And his blue eyes sparkle.
"What was that all about" He questions
"Nothing" I say, way too quickly.
He looks at me with a puzzled look but doesn't question me any further.
"You know, It's been really great getting to know you-"
"Oh no." He interrupts,
"You don't get to push me away after I just started feeling like I was getting close to you." He states. His voice authoritative and his eyes baring into my soul.
I sit down on the bed, exhausted already by the mornings events, and nothing's even really happened. My life is one big mess and the people in it are either puppets along for the ride or faking it. I thought that by trying to swim I could get rid of the pain, hell I knew what I was doing. I wanted to end it, and my parents knew it. Then Cole came along and was literally my knight in shining armor, who wouldn't take no for an answer. He deserved to know the secrets, but was I willing to tell them?
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Alright. Review time!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you are on, obviously.
Punctuation mark at the end over here. Also, you've kinda missed periods here and there in the story, so you may wanna read it over and edit.
Mmm, how about not write it like that because it looks confusing. Maybe right it like this:
Also, I'm confused as to why she would shout. Her parents are coming in and she's shouting. Wouldn't that make her mother suspicious? Her mother seemed totally cool about everything. Maybe she whisper-shouted. I dunno. It just seems off.
Oooh, cliffhanger. Love what you did there. Brava. Also, c'mon, a short chapter again? I would love to read a long chapter some time.
Anyhoo, done with my review. Hope this helped in one way or the other, and I'm off to read the next chapter!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Hello there Ms. Gossipgirlxoxo!
IceWinifredd here for a Water Tribe style Review Day review. So let's just get down to business okay? Although I know that I'll have to go back and read the chapters prior to this one to fully understand what's going on here, I'll feel as though this chapter in itself doesn't say much at all if that makes sense. In fact, it felt more like a preview to an actual installment because it felt too short. Also, I want to point out that I didn't like the structure of this chapter because there are no real paragraphs. Most of it was just sentences hanging loosely on the canvas. The punctuation is way off, but I didn't catch any spelling or grammatical errors. Aside from that, I like the feeling for forbidden romance this chapter teems with and I'm curious to read more. I could just be judging your character ignorantly (I haven't read any previous chapters) but I get the vibe that Cole is a bit of a control freak. Nonetheless, I hope you continue writing. You've got a pretty good thing here. Have an amazing afternoon! -IceWinifredd
P.S. I apologize if I failed to fully explain my opinion on your chapter. I'm not the best with reviews.
Hey hey!
.
Okay, you still have readers girl! I have read your whole story in one night, and oh my gosh I am dying. First off, I love Cole sooo much!!! I think that he is the perfect guy, and he has somehow found his way into Skylar's life, and by this chapter I'm sure glad he did! I love this chapter so much!!
When I read chapter eight one of the last lines was "I love the taste of Cole." That sentence litterally made me melt... Skylar is so much in love with this guy! I love it! Anyway, I think that the kiss was very romantic, and I like how she frantically tries to hide him so her parents won't find out.
So, I knew it! I knew she had a secret! I just need to know what it is... although I think a little bit more was revealed in this chapter. Skylar was trying to commit suicide in the first chapter, but Cole saved her. And now here she is gazing into his eyes wondering what to tell him about her secret.
I have learned that you like to write with cliffhangers, so in the authors note when you said sorry in advance for the cliffhanger, part of me already knew it was coming, and to be honest I love your cliffhangers! They always keep me guessing and they make me want to read more. Even though, as of now, there is no more to read... but I know you are faithful and will write more
If you have read all of my reviews I hope that you have caught my drift that I love your story. And if you haven't read any I hope you still know that I love your story, and I cant wait until chapter ten is published.
I have to give you major credit it is not easy staying with stories, but by the looks of it you are no quitter and I can tell by your flawless story! Please keep writing! I know it can get tough.. but you are more than capable! I love your story... for the millionth time, and I can't wait to read more!
Stay classy and write on.
-Annaclare
I decided to wait until this one to write a comment because I would probably be redundant! Thank you so so so so much for liking my story. Every comment of yours I read literally made me smile. It's this kind of stuff that makes me want to write more! And also, let me tell you, you are a very good "read between the lines" person. I'm not giving anything away I'll just say that lol. I'm glad you see Cole and Skylar how I intended them to be and I have so much more to this story that I can't wait to add. Oh and about the cliffhangers, I personally HATE them especially in a story I like, so why am I writing them, I don't know I just feel compelled too. Especially because these are chapters and I'm not publishing a book lol. Anyway, there will definitely be more answers coming, but with every answers comes a bit of mystery. Thanks again for taking the time to read my story. XOXOXOXO
GossipGirl
PS, I just posted chapter 10! I think you'll like it! Or atleast I hope you do!!!