Ohhh” I groaned and try to stretched my arms but I couldn’t move my arms or legs. A cold metal table pressing against my back and cold air brush my face. The smell of rust and piss wafted into my nose. My eyes snapped open and I look down and see straps on my hands and feet. The leather cutting into my skin with each tug I give. A figure walks towards me in a suit and a red gas mask on its head. Whe-wher-where am I? Why am I here? Why…. Suddenly it grabbed my head and jerked it to the side. I feel something cold jab into my neck and everything goes dark.
End of chapter
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140,643 Literary Works • 673,577 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well...as far as sneak peeks go, this is certainly one of the most interesting snippets that I've read from a story here, you've certainly chosen a very intriguing spot to take an excerpt from to drop into a work here. This absolutely makes me want to read on here and figure out who this person got to this place, and why, and then what on Earth happens after this.
Anyway, that aside, lemme comment on the actual content of this here. First of all, the description of the surroundings. I really love how you've incorporated more than just the visual into this description and you've really done your best to bring out what the surroundings smell like and then once we learn about the straps, how those feel like. Those really add a lot to the reader's ability to understand the situation happening at the moment and it really gets us right into the shoes of this person here which really helps make this situation even more powerful.
And well, that prick at the end I assume is some type of injection that ended up knocking this person out. And well that calls for even more intrigue there at the end. This certainly seems like its a pretty cool little story that you've got here. I would certainly want to read the book that this here piece came from.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Can you tag me when the book is out?
sure but the first chapter will be out once i finish editing
Okay
Hey.
As a fellow writer, I agree with @AshleyDashley, only with how it will create a lot of suspense. Which i also like in some stories. It will be interesting to see what happens in it or next. Sometimes the shortest description is always the greatest description. Even if someone doesn't think so.
~Luna56
Hey Gammagamerale it's AshleyDashley here for a quick review!
First off I think that this was a good sneak peak. It makes me interested to see what is going to happen to the charter her. But I think it should be a little more descriptive. I'm not really getting anything from it. Is the character in a building, a basement.. What? Try just adding little more detail. Other than that I see nothing wrong with it. Fabulous job and keep up the good work! I hope to read more of your work in the future! I cannot wait for the first chapter!
AshleyDashley
that exactly the point of it the character doesnt know where or what he in so the reader cant know either is it a basement or attic we dont know but once more is shown then more will be revealed
Oh okay!