i am not the man

Hey.

I'd like to believe that this has meaning but I cant see it. That would be ok, but it leaves me (and possibly others) confused and wanting more.

I like the first part (I'd suggest separating this into verses) and I think the repetition works nicely. However, I think after that it starts dragging. This means the poem doesn't go anywhere. This is fine structurally, but as I said, I think you need to have a point or at least a theme for your poem.

The last couple stanzas could possibly be cut. The line with "math problem" shatters the mood you had although you do your best to regain it in the last couple lines. However, those to could be taken out. You switch from talking about why your not the man to how your not the man and that feels like your just trying to lengthen the poem. This is part of the reason why it drags.

Overall, I think you should just establish a theme. You don't need to have a point to the poem but something to think about or something that makes the reader feel something would be appreciated.

Good work. Keep going.

*thumps up* good work...kid's improving XD

The repetition really makes it great, and i love the blank verse.

Hi I'm going to review your poem today so yea.
I liked this poem and honestly you could rap this poem cause that's what I did. The poem actually brings a lil joy to my day and it's also something I can relate to. Umm what else, it seems like you have a hard time learning how to do somethings trust me I am the same way but I learn.
I really hope you can learn how to do some of these things cause a professional is expensive.
Well I hope you liked my review and have a wonderful day, evening, morning, or night.