That's All

Good poem on this very overused subject. Unfortunately, like I said, it is very, very overused and hard to find something unique. I will say that your poem followed along the same lines as so many others, until this point,

"It's like blood -
You can't live
without it
But don't want
to see it."

This surprised me. This is a beautiful way to describe time and what we think of it as. I read these lines more than once. So simple, yet there's so much depth in them and they really appeal to reality. Personally, I think this would be a great place to end, and you could remove the,

"That's all,
I think..

..."

As it's not helping the poem at all. But over all, very good poem with that last stanza.

Thank you fictional!

Hey there! Kat to review for you.

I like to get the not so good stuff out of the way first in a review, which there wasn't much of that in here so that's good. The rhythm was very nice and constant throughout I felt, but it just seemed that the way you chose to break up your stanzas was a little to choppy... if you were to revise this I would make it flow a little more smoothly but also being sure not to sacrifice rhythm and a certain level of "choppiness" because it appears that that would best fit the style of poetry you are trying to achieve. I love how the poem lets you sort of decide how to take things, like you as the writer aren't making me as the reader have to think one way or another but I can still feel your emotions and ideas in your writing which is very nice. grammatically............nice! I'm not like a grammar police or anything so I may have overlooked some stuff but I think punctuation and all that was in line.

Keep it up
Kat

Hi there,

I liked the idea of this poem and also enjoyed the way you seemed torn with whether you like 'time' or not. It's interesting and thought provoking because no matter how much we like or dislike time, it's going to happen anyway. How many other things can that apply to? In a way, time is just a reflection of life.

Anyway, I wasn't overly keen on the end, I would have liked it more solid and concluding. I understand that you're trying to say you are undecided on your opinion, but perhaps a more explicit way of saying that would be better. It seems a little vague just to say 'I think...' and leave it.

I really liked the beginning when you put 'mean' it italics. It was a really neat idea, and I get this image of an almost child-like speaker complaining about something.

I would have another look and the structure as well, and just read it out a loud to make sure it flows correctly.

Well done though, it was good, keep writing,

H.L.P

This is a very good poem, really powerful with the force of emotion that is behind it. It summarizes 'time' very well. Sometimes we can hate time- it comes to quickly, or goes by so slowly, but it is the only thing that helps up know that we are alive. Sometimes even if we hate time it is the anchors us to life as a whole. This is a marvelous poem, and one that was well done. I see just one thing- you start off without punctuation in your lines, but end with punctuation in your final few stanzas. Make it uniform through out or it just looks weird.
~From The Reviewing Powers of GreenTulip.