Young Writers Society

I just love the term "dragonet". It's so cute and beautiful.

A REVOLUTION IS UPON US!! I'm super stoked. Something about political intrigue really... well, intrigues me! So forgive me if I nerd out in this review a bit!

I'm really happy that Zoltar asked how Shriken did it all alone. I almost feel like that should've been questioned sooner, at least internally in the narrative. Considering the position they're currently in, that probably wouldn't be the first thing on his mind to discuss. That said, I'm glad it was discussed, and it was an awesome lead-in for this Wings of Freedom movement. (btw, what a beautiful name.)

Hidden beneath Shriken's answer is a TON of history here -- well, a small piece of history that's actually huge in scope. The Ice Talons were at war with the Wind Talons?! (Or at least in a conflict.) And it sounds like this is an ongoing conflict at that, so this is undoubtedly a dire situation for the sake of peace. I'm sure we'll hear more about how dastardly this is -- how are the Ice Talons dying? And why does Shiler think that's okay?! You can't be strong if your dragons are dying!

And how are the Wind Talons responding? I'm guessing Ice Talons have a physical advantage over the Wind Talons and can therefore overpower them quite easily. I'm also interested in the dragons that support Shiler's aggressive actions and why they would. Wartime is not a good time for anyone except the power-hungry. The kingdoms involved will suffer economically as well as physically, mentally, and even geographically or similar. Loved ones are lost or hurt in terrible ways -- I guess I'm going a bit far, but I'm just really curious as to what this war is doing to the Ice Talon Kingdom! They make it sound really bad, and I'd really like to see more of that before and after this to give it that punch. Clearly this is a hurting kingdom, a result of Shiler's authoritative rule who seems convinced she's making all the right choices and that the Ice Talon Kingdom will be stronger for it. Is she thinking like in fifty years when survival of the fittest has finally caught up and baby dragons are born under her rule?!

I like the explanation of Felistia's involvement in the succession line too. This definitely cleared up how Shiler thought Felistia was in the way. I'm still curious where Shriken falls in line though 'cause I would think that even if Felistia was gone and Shiler was dead, he'd be next in line. but they never said that, so why is Shriken left out of the line of succession? Is he a half-brother? And if Shiler is dead and there's no one else to succeed, why does that scare the Ice Talons? Why is having Shiler as their queen better than no queen at all? Shiler must be doing something right if the dragons are convinced she's their only hope.

It was soooo sweet to see Felistia care for her brother like that. It was kind of sad though to think that she was once involved in this movement and now she's just giving up, like there's no hope. It's really heart-wrenching to think about. But she cares a lot for her brother -- the two of them have clearly been through a lot. Felistia even considered doing something about it when she came back -- AND DUDE. Dude. This is awesome because no wonder she was in such deep thought earlier during their flight! I LOVED how that was worked in, so patience is a virtue! You had her staring into space, deep in her thoughts, and I was so concerned like what is wrong with her -- but she must've been thinking through plans and strategies, going through all the possibilities of making this Wings of Freedom thing work again. And now to see her admit that none of her ideas would work, that all was lost... it's really just sad. I kinda want to see this downfall in her hope a bit more, maybe during their prison bit or something. Something convinced her that nothing would work and that there was no hope for the Ice Talons, so she basically came to terms with the fact that her kingdom would fall in disrepair or, worse, extinction. I would love to get into her thought process because she knows far more than I do as to the state of her kingdom.

Also, a humble man makes a great leader. Felistia would make a great queen for sure. <3 <3 <3

I'm sorry I don't have much else to talk about though. XD There was such JUICY information dropped in this segment and I can't help but think so hard about everything and how it all might fit into the plot and basically conspiracy theories are fun and entertaining for me ahahaha.

I can't wait to read more!! <3

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever it is in your part of the world)

Time for the last review of the day. Sad but I do have to go try and post the third chapter of my story before the day is out.

First Impression: Oooh so she was a successor to the throne. So I was right that Shriken was not the only one in on this plan. (Another point to Theory Mode). But this whole revolution thing is very interesting indeed. I have a feeling the Ghost Talons are going to get a lot of requests but I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a piece of this grand puzzle missing somewhere. Something that connects this all. This seems like the Ghost Talons had a grand plan. The wildest theory in my head is telling me that the Ghost Talons are behind that volcano somehow. *shakes head* I will figure this out.

On to the final review of the day,

“We’re almost halfway, but we’ll never make it before the blizzard hits. Shriken says there’s a cave up ahead. We can wait out the storm there.”

A blast of freezing cold wind shot through the crevasse, screaming like a wild cat as it clawed at Zoltar’s wings and snout. Shards of ice battered against his scales from overhead, carried by the gale.

If I don’t get out of here by tomorrow....Zoltar shook his head, refusing to think about it. He’d get out. He had too.

“We’ll reach the border by tomorrow afternoon. I promise. Can you hold on until then?”

Felistia seemed to understand and nodded, “It’s okay. He was bound to find out and it doesn’t make much difference now anyway.”

There are other Ice Talons, dragons like me who want peace for our tribe.”

“It was after the first battle with the Wind Talons that I...and Felistia began to build a peace moment. We called it The Wings of Freedom. Felistia was heir to the throne and if Shiler was removed, she would be the next queen. The movement grew fast, but not fast enough. Somehow Shiler found out about it and suspected that Felistia was part of it. She banished her from the kingdom.”

“But then I saw Felistia again,” Shriken said, wrapping one wing over his sister, “I thought if I could free her, maybe we could start the movement again, together.”

He clasped Felistia’s talons in his, hope filling his eyes, “We can start The Wings of Freedom again. We can still stop this war and bring peace for our tribe and the Wind Talon tribe. That was why you came back right? What do you say?”

Felistia sighed, breaking her gaze from his, “I can’t. I’ll admit that was what I came back for, but now…after seeing how broken it’s become. I’d hoped there were more dragons behind it.”

She paused and looked at her brother. He was staring at his talons, his wings slumped. Felistia gently stroked his snout, “I know it means a lot to you, but you know it won’t work. I can’t stay here, not with Shiler set on killing me. I can’t lead the movement like last time and how would you rally Ice Talons with their future queen not even in the kingdom? There are too few dragons. It would never work and you’d probably be caught. I can’t let that happen.”

She licked him lightly on the snout and wrapped a wing over his back, “I’m sorry.”

Shriken sniffed, wiping his snout with a paw. He curled in closer to Felistia.