Up ahead a wall of ice loomed like a frozen wave sweeping over the tundra. Cracks and fissures scarred its surface. Narrow openings lead to who knows where, their path swallowed by inky darkness.
The Ice Wall. Zoltar flexed his back spines nervously, feeling the two jewels roll around in the hollow between his shoulder blades. He’d been worried he’d drop them during the frantic flight to get out the palace, but thankfully the scales fringing the dip had kept the jewels from rolling out.
Just then, a flash of silver reflected off a speckled patch of earth not far ahead. Zoltar beat his wings faster. He hoped he hadn’t imagined it. No, there it was again. He would see faint ripples of movement against the snow now that he knew where to look. Felistia and Shriken.
Zoltar glanced quickly behind him. The palace had faded into the distance and he couldn’t see any Ice Talons pursuing them. They must have split up, unsure of which way he’d gone. The scale had done its job confusing them. A few dragons circled over the tundra a few miles away, but none were close enough to be of any danger.
Satisfied that he wouldn’t be seen, he swooped from beneath the clouds, dipping in a shallow arch towards the flashing silver wings of the two Ice Talons below. Flaring out his wings to slow his descent, he levelled out several wingbeats behind the two dragons. They continued racing across the tundra, unaware of the Shadow Talon trailing them.
“Felistia!” Zoltar tried shouting, but the wind carried his words away. They still didn’t know he was there.
He’d have to wait until they stopped or at least slowed down to let them know he was there. He could try to catch up, but that would use up more energy and he need to try to conserve it for the long journey through the caverns. Besides, at the rate they were approaching the ice wall, he wouldn’t have much longer to wait. Surely they’d stop upon reaching the glacier?
The wind whistled in his ears as he flew low over the snow, just high enough to avoid the sparse vegetation struggling to survive in the ice environment.
Up ahead he could see Shriken and Felistia slow to a glide as the glacier loomed over them, casting a long shadow over the tundra. They were heading for one of the many fissures slicing through the ice like war wounds.
Flaring their wings back, they dropped down beside a particularly large split in the ice.
Zoltar could see Felistia was yelling at Shriken. He strained his ears, trying to catch the words, “… shouldn’t … left him….! Shiler… kill him… after …. I’ve escaped.”
Zoltar couldn’t help the smile creeping over his snout. Felistia cared about him.
Just as he dipped into land, Felistia turned around, her look of anger turning to shock, “Zoltar! You’re alive.”
Startled by the sudden noise, Shriken swung round, fangs bared. He relaxed his stance once he saw Zoltar approaching.
“How’d you make it out?” Felistia asked, give Zoltar a gentle head butt against his wing, “We were in the tower when we heard the guards yelling.”
“A dragonet saw me and raised the alarm. I only just managed to get out before all the guards woke up,” Zoltar breathed a long sigh. In the moment he hadn’t allowed his nerves to get to him, but now that the whole experience was behind him, emotions flooded him. His legs felt as weak as saplings, “I was so afraid I wouldn’t catch up to you.”
“I didn’t want to leave you, but Shriken insisted.” She shot a stern glance at the younger Ice Talon.
He rolled his eyes, “We wouldn’t have had to leave without him if he’d kept up. Why weren’t you behind us?” Shriken raised an eye crest at the Shadow Talon.
Zoltar hesitated. What was he supposed to say? He’d hoped that Felistia would have told Shriken already, “Umm, I thought I saw a guard approaching and so hid behind one of those ice sculptures. By the time I realized it was nothing, you’d gone.”
Zoltar cringed. Even he could hear how pathetic that excuse was.
“Right,” Shriken looked as him with suspicion, shooting a sideways glance at Felistia. She seemed or pretended not to notice.
Shriken didn’t push matter further though as he turned to head into the cavern.
Felistia gave Zoltar a withering look as she followed Shriken, but didn’t say anything.
Soon all three dragons disappeared into the glacier, only the faint talon marks left in the snow outside giving away that they’d been there at all. They should be safe so long as the Drilvers didn’t catch their scent.
The air seemed colder as they traveled through the dark caves. Only the thin beams of moon light filtering down through the cracks in the ceiling provided illumination.
Zoltar shivered. Even that light would be gone as soon as the storm he’d flown through blew in. Then the caves would be plunged into inky darkness.
He’d be able to see, but Shriken and Felistia wouldn’t. Without their sight to guide them through the caves, they’d have to wait until the storm stopped or for the sun to rise. The idea of spending another night in a ravine, sheltering from a blizzard was almost unbearable to think of.
In the mean time they were moving as fast as possible through the narrow splits in the ice, but progress was bitterly slow. There was barely enough room to walk in single file and there was no way to fly out. It was just too narrow. At least no one would be able to see them down here.
“Zoltar?” Felistia’s voice rang out through the tunnels, shattering the silent.
Zoltar flinched at the sudden noise. The walls seemed to intensify the sound, before shooting it around and out the caverns for all to hear.
Shriken shot Felistia a disapproving glare. She smiled sheepishly as he carried on along the path.
Shifting her wings, Felistia lowered her voice and turned to look behind her, “Did you get it?”
Zoltar grinned, lowering one wing and spread his scales enough to reveal the two diamonds glittering just beneath his obsidian black scales.
A look of confusion flashed across Felistia’s face, but she didn’t say anything. She just nodded while giving him a we’ll–talk–about-this-later look.
Zoltar glanced up at the sky as he continued on. Rolling waves of storm clouds churned across the sky like an angry sea, the warm light of the moon drowned out.
Suddenly a streak of light lit up the passage, illuminating the two Ice Talons in front of Zoltar, their white scales blindingly bright. Deathly silence fell on the group as they all looked up into the pitch black heavens, waiting. Then the sky itself roared, the sound like a thousand dragons bellowing in unison. The storm was here.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
Omg I don't know if the storm was mentioned before, but I might've just written it off thinking it wouldn't be a big deal. But now I'm thinking it might be a big deal and I can't help but worry about the unknown.
I'm glad Zoltar managed to catch up to them so soon! I was worried the two had already landed and would be out-of-sight, but he must've been flying super fast (faster than the two) to be able to find them in the air still!
So there wasn't much going on in this chapter, but there's a lot of tiny nuggets pertaining to their characters. Shriken is pretty brief, but I have this feeling he doesn't care for Zoltar. I love that he was instantly critical of Zoltar's disappearance and that he clearly didn't buy Zoltar's excuse. (I thought maybe he was a bad liar, but he did successfully lie to the other girls in the first book for a long time, so maybe he's just bad at improvising?!) But goodness, Zoltar looked like a little kid getting yelled at by his father, like I feel like he'd have been prepared for this to some extent, though I don't know how long he's been flying before he found them I guess. Maybe he didn't have time to think about it.
But this little bit with Shriken really backs up Shriken as a sensible character. He's a guard after all, he should be able to ask these kinds of questions. He's intelligent, too, and is able to interrogate when needed. I definitely feel for Shriken in this case, and I just feel really bad that Zoltar refuses to talk to him -- but in Zoltar's defense, he doesn't know what Shriken will do if he knew the truth. (Also, how does Shriken not notice Felistia asking about the jewels? I figured they had good hearing at the very least, so Shriken would've overheard the hushed conversation.)
And not only him, though, but Felistia didn't look impressed either. She saw the jewels and seemed confused. The obvious conclusion is that Felistia is confused about there being two jewels, but I wonder if perhaps there's more to it -- like Felistia knows something Zoltar doesn't, maybe he got fakes or one is a fake meant to be a tracker. And I still believe Felistia knows the value of these jewels and how it might affect the Ice Talon kingdom.
I'm going to say, though, that Felistia is angry at Shriken simply because she's been stressed with worry over Zoltar and her emotions are just running rampant. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense to get angry at Shriken when it was part of the original plan to wait as long as they could -- and Shriken had to make that call since Felistia was only focused on Zoltar. So again, it kinda just puts Shriken in a good light.
which I'm okay with 'cause Shriken is a very sensible dragon and only cares about his sister since he has no idea who Zoltar is.
Sorry if my thoughts are a bit disjointed and messy. XD My brain just goes off on tangents sometimes and I don't bother organizing the review itself to make up for it. but I am excited to read the next bit 'cause I'm curious about this storm and how it'll affect their plans!
Keep writing!!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Thank you for the review. You'll learn more about Shriken's goal in the next chapter.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever it is in your part of the world)
And we're finally at the chapter that started this all. The chapter that first drew me towards reading and reviewing this book. I couldn't make head or tail of it the first time around, only noticed that it was a great book. Let's see if it makes actual sense this time around.
First Impression: I do not like that look Felistia gave him. This is getting interesting. Maybe there was a diamond switch or those weren't even the diamonds. OR, considering the cryptic message on the post for the sixteenth chapter something even worse might go down. Also of course lovely piece of writing as always.
Nice convenient little place but makes you wonder why he didn't bother to bring a bag with him when he first set out to find these items.
Shadow Talon doing some shadowing.
Good that you kept the hearing realistic in the stormy conditions.
Why would he do this after Felistia very clearly yelled out Zoltar's name. Wouldn't he have heard that?
He does have a point. It made the most logical sense to leave. So Felistia should probably not be too hard on him.
Shriken being mature there. That's good.
Very suspicious.
Nice ending. Only you and your amazing imagery could make a storm be a dangerous adversary that serves as a cliffhanger.
And the penultimate review for the day is done. One more to go. I'm happy to get a break so I can go finish my own story but sad that I have to wait longer to read more of this amazing story.
Overall: Good little reunion but I feel like this escape is far from over.
And as always take what you think will help and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you for another review. You're going to love finding out about the diamonds.
Theorize away.
Look forward to your thoughts on the next chapter and I'll tag you when I publish the next one. Thank you so much for all your reviews. It's great to have one read through a story the way it should be read, instead of having to wait for each chapter. You picked up a lot of plot holes and issues I need to go back and fix.
Your Welcome!!!
Ohh wow. Definitely going to get on that. I have a feeling that this whole quest is a sham. A test almost. And something much bigger is going on here. These Diamonds and Rubies huh. What did the Ghost Talon chief say? The Ruby of Fire was their source of power. The plot thickens.
Hello, felistia! Hope you're having a good day! I am one day late, but is that a lot? I hope not.
Anyways, you know the drill. Grammar and maybe some plot development tips.
Without further ado, I will get started.
Maybe you could add -the in front of -earth?
Glancing itself is quick, so there doesn't need to be -quickly. But if you insist, you could try changing it before -glanced, like this:
"Zoltar quickly glanced behind him."
That didn't roll well in my tongue - or is it on...
Anyways, try changing -need to -needs or -needed. As for that last -to, you could change it to -and.
"He could try to catch up, but that would use up more energy and he needed to try and conserve it for the long journey through the caverns."
I didn't understand it the first time, but then I cursed myself for being slow. Then I had an idea to improve its readability. Maybe try separating -into or take out -in?
And that last sentence Felistia said didn't sound quite as excited if you added an exclamation mark. Maybe join -Zoltar witht the rest.
"Zoltar, you're alive!"
You could add -I in front of -hid but you don't have to. I just find it better. And that -you'd, the contraction didn't really fit there really well. Maybe try de-contracting them?
I know it was a typo, so just change it to -at.
Maybe you could add an s?
This is a word, so no need for the space.
Two errors: add a comma and take out the space.
Maybe you could add -a, in a single file.
silent -> silence
Add a hyphen.
Well, that's it, or at least all the errors I caught. You could try and see for yourself, but I'm guessing that's why reviews exist. Anyways, I can say that I am actually enjoying this novel. Keep on writing, because I hope to read more!
With caution,
WaterSpout