z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Quest for Fire - Frozen Past - Chapter Seventeen

by felistia


The next few hours were agonizingly slow for Zoltar. The two Ice Talons had drifted off to sleep soon after the conversation ended, their soft snores barely audible over the rage of the storm outside.

Zoltar had tried to go to sleep. He needed it after all, with the long walk and flight out of the Ice Kingdom tomorrow. Sleep never came however.

The cold was ever present, slowly working its way deeper into his chest. His scales had gone numb over the last few hours and he was beginning to lose feeling in his talons. Zoltar worried that his wings would go next. If that happened, there’d be no way he could fly. He’d be doomed.

He shifted, extending his wings in and out in the hope that it would slow down the numb feeling marching across his back. He’d been repeating this action every few minutes for the last two hours. It seemed to be slowing the effects, but hadn’t stopped it. He needed to get out of here.

The storm showed little sign of calming down. It was still screaming overhead with as much fury as it had hours ago. Zoltar knew winter blizzards like these could last for days. He didn’t have that long.

Still there was nothing he could do until the sun rose. They’d agreed to wait until then.

Some of the sunlight should be able to penetrate though this? Zoltar swallowed the lump building in his throat and spread his wings again.

He knew Shriken was supposed to lead, but things might not improve with the light of day. He may need to ask Shriken for instructions so that he could guide them through the rest of the caverns instead. So long as he was in front and showing the way, the two Ice Talons should be able to feel their way through the caves behind him. At least he hoped they could.

The other option was for Shriken to give him directions and they stay behind to wait out the storm while he carried on. The thought of that didn’t exactly thrill him, but it might be his only option. Shriken may not agree to traveling blind, instead vouching to wait out the blizzard. If that happened, Zoltar would have no choice, but to carry on alone. He just couldn’t wait any longer.

The next morning Zoltar woke to someone gently stroking his wings. He opened his eyes with a groan. How long had he been asleep for? The last thing he could remember was staring at the cave entrance while flexing is wings. He must have fallen unconscious after that.

He looked up to see Felistia standing over him, brushing her wing over his back.

“Hey,” she whispered, stepping back, “How are you feeling?”

“Not so good, I’m afraid,” Zoltar tried to get to his feet, wincing at the prickly feeling invading his legs. He faltered for a moment, the numb sensation causing him to misjudge the placement of his paws. Felistia stepped closer and he managed to right himself with her support.

“I can see,” Felistia stayed beside him while he shook each of his paws, trying to get some feeling back in them.

Zoltar could hear that she was worried, despite her trying to hide it, “It’s okay. I’ll be fine so long as I get across the border by tonight.”

He tried to sound confident, but deep inside he was terrified. Even if he did make it out of here in time, his fire may never come back. He’d heard of other fire breathers losing their flame like this. It wasn’t exactly uncommon, especially after spending more than five days in this freezing weather.

“Shriken says we should leave now. There’s been a mild break in the storm, but it might not last. We should try to reach the end of the glacier before it get worse.”

Zoltar nodded, stretching his wings again. Thankfully they hadn’t gone numb yet, though the unnerving tingling feeling was starting to creep along the webbing.

“Morning,” Shriken said, walking over to him and Felistia, “Ready to go?”

“Yes,” Zoltar said, watching the Ice Talon. He seemed to have regathered himself after last night’s talk. Just as well. They needed him to guide them through the rest of the territory and he wouldn’t have been able to if he was still moping over Felistia’s decision.

As he followed Shriken and Felistia back into the ravine, he was pleasantly surprised to find that the wind had stopped roaring through the cavern, instead replaced by a minor breeze. It was still quite dark, but there was enough light penetrating through the swirling clouds over head to allow the two Ice Talons to move freely.

He on the other paw struggled to keep up. His feet didn’t land where he wanted them and kept causing him to stumble, scraping his scales against the jagged walls each time.

It felt like they’d been walking for hours when finally the chasm began to shallow, the floor tilting upwards as the path widened.

Zoltar couldn’t help, but breathe a sigh of relief. His sides ached and even through the dead feeling in his paws he could feel a dull pain radiating through them. He’d avoided tearing a talon so far, but had lost a few scales.

“Almost there,” Felistia called from up ahead.

Their heads were almost above the sides of the rift now. In front, Zoltar could see a wide open expanse, snow coated grass growing in patches throughout the landscape. They were almost over the border. Only a few hours of flight stood between him and the outskirts of the dead forest where he’d left Emerald and Shiraku.

“Keep your heads down,” Shriken hissed, waving a wing at them, “There’s something up there.”

Zoltar crouched alongside Felistia as Shriken poked his head over the side. He ducked back down with a snarl.

“What is it?” Felistia asked, stalking up to her brother.

“Drilvers. Wild ones I think,” Shriken growled, “If we take off from here, we should be able to avoid them.”

He glanced over at Zoltar, “Do you think you can get into the air without a running start?”

Zoltar nodded, fighting the panic gripping his chest. What choice did he have? It was either fly or risk fighting the Drilvers, the second of which he knew would kill him. He just hoped they weren’t the Queens Drilvers. That was the last thing he needed.

Felistia gave him an encouraging nudge on the shoulder, “You’ll do fine. Just head straight up. We’ll be right behind to cover you if you need it.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Zoltar spread his wings and leapt into the sky.

For a heart wrenching second he over balanced to the left, but with a quick right swing of his tail he righted himself. Flapping his wings he managed to gain some height. It might not be the most elegant take off he’d ever had, but at least he was in the air.

Behind him he could hear Felistia and Shriken’s wing beats as they caught up to him. Soon they were many dragons lengths above the ground, riding the air currents up.

Scanning the ground below he saw the Drilvers glanced up at them, but they didn’t react. Shriken had been right. They were wild, not the Queen’s trained pack.

Zoltar exhaled. They’d gotten away.

Banking north, they soared through the thinning cloud cover. It looked like the storm was dying off, much to Zoltar’s relief. He was managing to stay aloft in this somewhat calm weather with his wings, but he wasn’t sure how he’d handle a blizzard.

It doesn’t matter now. Soon he’d be out of this awful frozen wilderness and back in his normal environment, warm and safe from crazy Ice Talon queens. The most dangerous part of the mission was over. Now all he had to do was some obsidian and ask Emerald for one of her scales. Shouldn’t be too hard.

He couldn’t wait to see Emerald again. He’d even begun to miss Shiraku, though he wasn’t sure he’d admit it to her. He could help, but smile at the thought.

Soon, he thought, soon we’ll all be together again and everything will be okay.


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1464 Reviews


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Sat Jun 27, 2020 8:52 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



HELLO I AM HERE!

I like that this chapter is focusing on Zoltar's condition. We're getting a really good idea of how it's crippling him and how far it's come since they entered the area. It feels like a case of hypothermia really.

And omg I was so happy he was able to fly over the drilvers. I really like the idea of him not looking down for long, but only able to manage a glimpse. Looking down could really mess with his sense of balance, which he needs right now to stay in the air, so he'd really be focused on looking straight ahead. But if he was able to manage a glimpse, he can resume looking straight and STILL think through the fact that these drilvers were wild because they weren't focused on catching them like the queen's trained drilvers.

And actually, learning about the trained drilvers vs wild drilvers explains the scene earlier on when Zoltar and Felistia were chased by drilvers. Those were the queen's drilvers, which means the queen's guards were on to them much earlier than we thought. Which explains why Felistia panicked immediately at the sight of them. She knew exactly what was going on when Zoltar didn't. I think in that scene, we could slip in a detail where the drilvers seemed oddly focused on their capture, or maybe at some point mention that wild drilvers are typically low threat. Just to give us, the readers, that ability to decipher of the drilvers are a threat or not.

The chapter itself is pretty slow. Not much really happens here except that they're moving forward, so it was a pretty slow read and I wish I had more to add. XD I adored Felistia gently waking up Zoltar and how she really cares for his health, bringing that old Felistia back into her personality.

I also appreciated the brief narration about Shriken and how he probably didn't care what happened to Zoltar and was really focused on helping Felistia moreso. Though I do believe that Shriken would help Zoltar in the end because Zoltar clearly means a lot to Felistia. Definitely.

AND AWWWW the ending bit where he admitted to himself missing Shiraku. I MISS SHIRAKU TOO. That's adorable. I can't wait to meet up with theM I HOPE THEY'RE STILL THERE.




felistia says...


Thank you for another review. This chapter was bit slow, but I think it was good to have a breather after the escape they went through.

:D



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Sat Jun 27, 2020 4:23 pm
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JesseWrites wrote a review...



Hello there,

This review is nothing like Harry's in length, so yeah, oof. I haven't read the past chapters, so everything is weird. I'm adapting into the world, characters, and stuff like that.

Okay, so yes! Dragons, I think. I haven't read a story with those in like forever, so this made my day. I think Zoltar is developed nicely and the others are fine. I would add some quirks or something not too much, but just enough.

The way this was closed off made me angry because it can be so open. It's not your fault, I'm just weak to endings that are so vague and stuff. I think it was written stunningly, so that totally makes it better.

I don't know if I should've read the past chapters to understand this, or not, but I think I did alright.
Have a good day,
Haley.




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Mon Jun 22, 2020 12:05 pm
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And I am back to this. *Theorist Mind Activated*

First Impression: Looks like poor Zoltar is going to need a hug from Emerald very soon. Overall nice little escape. Pretty nice description of the effects of being in the Ice Kingdom.

Zoltar had tried to go to sleep. He needed it after all, with the long walk and flight out of the Ice Kingdom tomorrow. Sleep never came however.


Zoltar is going to develop some kind of disease soon with all the times he has been sleep deprived.

Zoltar worried that his wings would go next. If that happened, there’d be no way he could fly. He’d be doomed.


That word needs to be inserted there. No pun intended

The storm showed little sign of calming down. It was still screaming overhead with as much fury as it had hours ago. Zoltar knew winter blizzards like these could last for days. He didn’t have that long.


I'm assuming all of these storms are due to the winter coming? Or else it would be weird that there was a storm when he flew in and a storm when he flew out.

“Not so good, I’m afraid,” Zoltar tried to get to his feet, wincing at the prickly feeling invading his legs.


I like the honesty there instead of the standard "I'm fine" that all protagonists appear to be required to state by some unwritten law of being a protagonist.

“Morning Zoltar,” Shriken said, walking over to him and Felistia, “Ready to go?”


Considering that he was a little suspicious of Zoltar over their botched escape plan this seems a bit too friendly to greet him by his name.

He on the other paw struggled to keep up. His feet didn’t land where he wanted them and kept causing him to stumble, scraping his scales painfully against the jagged walls each time.


Warning!!Nitpick Ahead!!: Earlier you say his scales went numb so I'd expect him to not feel pain here against the walls. Or maybe mention that he could barely feel the pain?

Their heads were almost above the sides of the rift now. In front, Zoltar could see a wide open expanse, snow coated grass growing in patches throughout the landscape. They were almost over the border. Only a few hours of flight stood between him and the outskirts of the dead forest where he’d left Emerald and Shriken.


Lovely establishing shot as always. Small problem. I think you meant Shiraku there.

For a heart wrenching second he over balanced to the left, but with a quick right swing of his tail he righted himself. Flapping his wings he managed to gain some height. It might not be the most elegant take off he’d ever had, but at least he was in the air.


That was a great description there to the take off. Also does a good job of conveying just how shaky and cold he is feeling at the moment.

Soon they many dragons above the ground, riding the air currents up.


Okay this sentence seems to have gotten a little jumbled. I think you meant something along the lines of Soon they were many dragon lengths above the ground...

Scanning the ground below he saw the Drilvers glanced up at them, but they didn’t react. Shriken had been right. They were wild, not the Queen’s trained pack.


So the wild ones don't care about chasing after random dragons. That's an interesting little piece of information.

It doesn’t matter now. Soon he’d be out of this awful frozen wilderness and back in his normal environment, warm and safe from crazy Ice Talon queens. The most dangerous part of the mission was over. Now all he had to do was get a feather and some obsidian. Shouldn’t be too hard.


Poor Zoltar has no idea what lies ahead for him does he? Just a feather and some obsidian. I highly doubt that would be so simple. And I have a feeling those diamonds are not entirely what they seem are they?

He couldn’t wait to see Emerald again. He’d even begun to miss Shiraku, though he wasn’t sure he’d admit it to her. He could help, but smile at the thought.


That thought made me smile too.

Soon, he thought, soon we’ll all be together again and everything will be okay.


I hope they all do get together soon. I miss Emerald and Shiraku too.

And that is it for this one.

Overall: Well not a lot going on in this chapter. Nice little escape scene. Shriken seems to have gotten over things or at least pushed it to the back of his mind till they are safe so that should be interesting later on. And those diamonds. Wonder what's going to go on there? Now I can't wait for the next chapter. Overall another great chapter. Only a couple of errors I spotted.

And I'm sure you're tired of hearing this by now but take what you think is useful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




felistia says...


Thank you so much for another review so quickly. :D

I'll have to fix the mistakes I made in this chapter. Lol

Yes. Not all is as it seems. That's all I'm going to say. I know this was a bit of a filler chapter, but it was needed to get to the next part. The next chapter should have some excitement to it. (wink)



KateHardy says...


Your Welcome!!
Yeah a bit like a filler but it was still interesting enough to be good. And ooh excitement!! Can't wait for the next chapter. Now I'll go work on some theories. (wink)




Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire