The Quest for Fire - Frozen Past - Chapter Twelve

by felistia

Published June 11, 2020

E - Everyone

In The Quest For Fire Book Two - to edit

Felistia's snores floated gently through the night air like ocean waves lapping at a sandy shore, her sides rising and falling rhythmically as she slept. The gash on her flank had clotted and was starting to heal nicely, much to Zoltar's relief.

In the distance, Zoltar could hear the lonely howls of the Drilver dragons, their melodic calls deceivingly soft in the needle sharp night air. A cold shiver ran down Zoltar's spine like claws scrabbling against a cliff face. He knew the Drilvers were far from the gentle creatures their song portrayed them as.

Zoltar hissed a low snarl of warning as another chilling howl cut through the night like talons slicing through ice. He knew though that as long as they were inside, the Drilvers wouldn't be able to harm them. But inside wasn't much safer if he didn’t burn through his tail case in time.

Shriken’s plan had made perfect sense, but it required a lot on Zoltars part. Shriken didn’t have access to the keys to their shackles, only the head guard had those. He needed Zoltar’s poisonous tail to burn through the chains holding them to the floor before he could help them escape.

If this part of the plan failed, they wouldn’t be able to get out.

Zoltar sighed. He could feel the warm fire inside him fading and every minute the air seemed to be getting colder. He’d spent almost the whole night breathing small blasts of fire onto his tail case, but progress was slow and time was short. He was less than halfway through and each hour his fire's heat was growing weaker. He had to be careful. If he used up too much of his heat, he could end up losing his fire forever. If that happened, he’d have only hours left to live in this cold.

Sighing, he continued to blow small fingers of glowing orange flame upon the metal casing wrapped around his tail, the gleaming light of the fire dancing with the milky rays of the moon streaming through the window in a shimmering ballet of fire and ice.

He had to do this. It was his fault that Felistia was in this mess with him. She hadn’t wanted to come with him, but his persistent nagging had caused her to give in. Now she was stuck in this cell waiting for the queen to execute her. He had to do this for her, even if he ended up losing his fire because of it.

Zoltar woke with a start as the thin fingers of an early dawn crept through the cell window, casting golden light over his obsidian black scales.

How long had he been asleep for? He remembered hearing the Drilver dragons, but it all went blank after that. He must have blacked out. Three days of little to no sleep was starting to wear on him.

Remembering his mission, Zoltar flicked his tail around to inspect his night's work. The metal lock on his tail was deformed and had bubbled where the fire had met the metal. The lock holding the two pieces of metal around his tail was almost off and looked like a few more hours of consistent fire blasts would finish the job.

Zoltar's heart raced with anticipation. If he was quiet he’d be able to finish the job by tonight like they’d discussed.

Shriken said he’d stop in again around midnight at the start of his shift after the guards had been given their meals. They would make their move then.

“Hey, Felistia,” Zoltar nudged the sleeping Ice Talon gently with the tip of his tail, “Look. I’m almost done.”

Felistia inhaled sharply as her glittering eyes flickered open, "Yes?" She yawned sleepily, sitting up with her slender tail lying over her talons like a sleeping snake. Then her eyes caught on Zoltar’s tail. She inhaled sharply before whispering, “That’s wonderful. We could get out of here tonight,” She beamed at him, “You must have been up the whole night.”

Zoltar stifled an oncoming yawn, “Yah, but it’s worth it. Listen, I need to run something by you.”

Felistia looked at him, her eyes locking with his, “Yes?”

“I was wondering what you’d think of me taking the Ice Diamond with me when we escape? The throne room is on the way out if we’re heading up.”

Felistia dropped her gaze, her wings going slack. She sighed, “I guess we could try. You did come all this way and leaving without it would make this entire trip pointless. It’s just, I’m not sure we’ll have the time. Shriken said the sleep herbs would only last half an hour. We might not be able to get out before the guards wake up if we try to steal the diamond. Besides, Shriken doesn’t know about that. He might not like the fact that you’re trying to steal the Ice Diamond.”

Zoltar shrugged, “You’ve got a point, but this is really important. If I fail at this, my tribe is good as dead. You can go on without me. I’ll meet you at the tower after I get the diamond. If I don’t get to you before the guards wake up, leave without me. This is my mission. I don’t want you to get caught because of me.”

Felistia smiled weakly before nodding, “Okay. I won’t tell Shriken though. I think it would be best to break this sort of news after we’ve escaped.”

After what seemed like hours of waiting, a slow evening crept through the barred window, casting shallow crimson light over the dirty walls.

Zoltar stretched like a panther and yawned. He’d tried to sleep the day away, but claws of anticipation kept tickling the pit of his stomach making it impossible to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time.

His heart was beating a million miles an hour. Tonight was the night. Finely they were going to get out of the hell hole.

His stomach felt like white water and his back spines kept bristling involuntarily. This plan had to work. They'd been here for four days and he only had three days left before he died of cold.

His fire was fading fast and soon he'd lose the ability to breathe flame; death would soon follow. The symptoms were already starting to show. He found himself shaking uncontrollable from time to time and the cold was almost unbearable. His time was running out. This escape was the only chance they had to get out of here.

A guard had already given them dinner and had nearly given Zoltar a heart attack when he’d opened the door. Shriken had been supposed to give them food again tonight, but things obviously hadn’t gone to plan.

Zoltar had had to hide his mangled tail case under his claws in a rather awkward way, his mind spinning the whole time with the horrible thought that the guard would spot his trickery. Thankfully the Ice Talon hadn't and had simply thrown the plate of food down and had left the room with a self-centered snort.

Zoltar breathed a shuddering sigh of relief as he realized how bad the whole thing could have gone. If the guards had found out about his tail they probably would have put his mouth clamp back on, leaving him to starve. There wouldn't have been another chance at escaping if that had happened.

Outside he could hear their guard eating his supper; some sort of soup.

Felistia and Zoltar had agreed that they shouldn’t eat their food. Shriken had laced the evenings food with sleep herb. It would take only half an hour to take effect. Since Shriken hadn’t given them their food, it was likely that it was contaminated. They’d eaten the day before so it wasn’t absolutely necessary to eat. The last think Zoltar wanted was to end up asleep like the guards.

While they waited, Zoltar used the time to fire off the rest of his tail case. He’d been working on it throughout the day between naps. It now needed only a few more well aimed blasts to melt the lock and free his tail.

Zoltar prepared to fire the last plume of flame needed to melt his tail case, summoning up the familiar heat, but to his utter terror, nothing came, just black smoke. Zoltar's heart plummeted. Had his fire gone out? This was their only chance and now the only thing they needed was one last burst of fire.

Zoltar snorted stubbornly. He would not die here. Not without a fight. Refusing to give up, Zoltar huffed and wheezed trying to push up one last bit of fire. Finely after a few heart stopping seconds, a small puff of flame erupted from Zoltar's jaws and connected with his tail case, melting the last of the lock.

Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Zoltar gently laid it on the floor. The last thing he needed was to alert the guard outside the door with the clumsy clang of his tail case hitting the floor.

Flexing his barbed tail back and forth, Zoltar grinned. He was free.

“Felistia,” he motioned to his tail. She nodded, the steel look of determination in her eyes.

Zoltar looked back at the door. All was silent. The guard must be starting to feel the effect of the herbs. They needed to act now if they were going to get all the chains off before Shriken came.

He carefully dripped the poison from his tail onto their chains, the metal bubbling and melting away from them.

He crept towards the door. Felistia followed, silent as a leopard as she slunk over to him. Her golden eyes were like search lights in the darkness of the cell.

Zoltar put is ear to the door, listening intently. From the other side he could hear the rhythmic breaths of a sleeping dragon. The herbs had taken effect.

He gave a meaningful look to Felistia. Now all they had to do was wait for Shriken.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Jun 18, 2020

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)

Three fourths done!! Yaay!!

First Impression: Good bit of tension building though with how much is going their way I suspect that something is going to go wrong. Now if I could figure where it is going to go wrong.

The gash on her flank had clotted and was starting to heal nicely, much to Zoltar's relief.


Nice to have an update on that.

Zoltar sighed. He could feel the warm fire inside him fading and every minute the air seemed to be getting colder. He’d spent almost the whole night breathing small blasts of fire onto his tail case, but progress was slow and time was short. He was less than halfway through and each hour his fire's heat was growing weaker. He had to be careful. If he used up too much of his heat, he could end up losing his fire forever. If that happened, he’d have only hours left to live in this cold.


So it looks like we have a limit to how much fire one can breathe at one time.

Slightly jarring time jump there. It seemed a little sudden but it makes sense.

“Hey, Felistia,” Zoltar nudged the sleeping Ice Talon gently with the tip of his tail, “Look. I’m almost done.”


I know the guards can't hear but they are taking a lot of chances. This could have communicated pretty easily without saying a word so I think they're not being cautious enough.

“I was wondering what you’d think of me taking the Ice Diamond with me when we escape? The throne room is on the way out if we’re heading up.”


Zoltar going on a solo heist seems like he'd run into some trouble. This is going to be really interesting to read.

Felistia smiled weakly before nodding, “Okay. I won’t tell Shriken though. I think it would be best to break this sort of news after we’ve escaped.”


That looks like it is going cause problems later on.

His fire was fading fast and soon he'd lose the ability to breathe flame; death would soon follow. The symptoms were already starting to show. He found himself shaking uncontrollable from time to time and the cold was almost unbearable. His time was running out. This escape was the only chance they had to get out of here.


This is a bit contradictory. First he says it would take three more days for him to die but then now it looks like he could die soon after his flame gives out.

A guard had already given them dinner and had nearly given Zoltar a heart attack when he’d opened the door. Shriken had been supposed to give them food again tonight, but things obviously hadn’t gone to plan.


Signs of trouble. Looks like Shriken may have been held up by something or banned from visiting them.

Zoltar had had to hide his mangled tail case under his claws in a rather awkward way, his mind spinning the whole time with the horrible thought that the guard would spot his trickery. Thankfully the Ice Talon hadn't and had simply thrown the plate of food down and had left the room with a self-centered snort.


This guard must have had a huge ego or the sudden claw movement would have made him very interested in the chain. Also bit of carelessness from Zoltar. He should have been prepared for the worst the moment his cell door started to open.

Felistia and Zoltar had agreed that they shouldn’t eat their food. Shriken had laced the evenings food with sleep herb. It would take only half an hour to take effect. Since Shriken hadn’t given them their food, it was likely that it was contaminated. They’d eaten the day before so it wasn’t absolutely necessary to eat. The last think Zoltar wanted was to end up asleep like the guards.


Doesn't seem likely that the prisoners would get the same food as the guard.s

Zoltar prepared to fire the last plume of flame needed to melt his tail case, summoning up the familiar heat, but to his utter terror, nothing came, just black smoke. Zoltar's heart plummeted. Had his fire gone out? This was their only chance and now the only thing they needed was one last burst of fire.


Wait now the way you wrote some of the earlier bits it seems like Zoltar now has only hours left to live because his fire has 'gone out'.

Zoltar looked back at the door. All was silent. The guard must be starting to feel the effect of the herbs. They needed to act now if they were going to get all the chains off before Shriken came.

He carefully dripped the poison from his tail onto their chains, the metal bubbling and melting away from them.

He crept towards the door. Felistia followed, silent as a leopard as she slunk over to him. Her golden eyes were like search lights in the darkness of the cell.

Zoltar put is ear to the door, listening intently. From the other side he could hear the rhythmic breaths of a sleeping dragon. The herbs had taken effect.

He gave a meaningful look to Felistia. Now all they had to do was wait for Shriken.


Ohh this part builds the tension wonderfully. Time to get out of there and possibly acquire on Ice Diamond on the way though.

And that's all for this chapter.

Overall: Sets the scene nicely. Good logical plan. And it looks the plan is about to hit a snag. This is going to be good.

I'm running off to read the escape. As always remember to take what you think helps and forget the rest

Stay Safe
Harry

Thank you a gain for the review.

In regards to Zoltar's flame, it will go out faster the more he uses it. I might need to clarify that more this these chapters. :D

Your Welcome!!
Right that makes sense.

User avatar
JabberHut
Review
JabberHut wrote a review Review · Jun 11, 2020

Omg things are going waaay too smoothly for them. This is too easY SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG.

It was a pretty slow chapter, and I feel like some dialogue could happen here to reveal some answers or something else could be setup here. It's just pretty quiet and uneventful. That said, I do like that there was a moment of tension when the guards came in with their food and Zoltar had to hide his WIP.

I like the added detail of food laced with a sleeping herb. It seems a bit reckless to just lace ALL food for the night with sleeping herbs. I wouldn't think they'd feed the prisoners the same food as the guards. Something tells me the queen wouldn't want to waste good food on them.

Once again, I am SO curious about this family. I originally thought Felistia was just part of the royal family, which would be the same for Shriken. So I'm very fascinated by the fact that Shriken has no leeway at all in the guard. So he must be REALLY young or new to be such a low rank with little authority at all. Why does he have this job and does he like it? I look forward to learning more about Shriken and Felistia's family in general.

Zoltar has been very sweet when it comes to Felistia btw. I love how eager he looks at his progress and how he keeps letting Felistia know. In a way, he's like a cute child showing what he did, but he's also kinda being super sweet and encouraging Felistia with his progress to show their escape is looking more and more possible.

AND THEN HE GOES AND PUTS FELISTIA FIRST AGAIN. He tells her to just worry about herself and her brother because they have enough to deal with on their own. I wonder why this jewel is so important! It sounds like Shriken would be unhappy to find out Zoltar was stealing it, but Felistia doesn't seem bothered at all. So is it just a valuable gem? Or is it a magical, powerful diamond? It must not do much to protect the kingdom at all. I wonder if the queen has been misusing it? What are the repercussions of stealing such an esteemed diamond?!

I can't wait to see what all goes wrong here. I was half-bummed Zoltar didn't get penalized for being noisy or anything, not even a close call. (I mean there was that one moment when they delivered their food, but it could have been scarier I think!) I look forward to seeing their escape though and how they're going to get out of this. Surely it can't be so easy!

Thank you for another review. It is going smoothly at the moment, but won't for long. (wink)

I might edit the part about the guard so that it's present rather than it being told after it happened.

User avatar
WaterSpout
Review
WaterSpout wrote a review Review · Jun 11, 2020

Hello, felistia! If you don't mind I will leave my review here. Since I am more of a grammar police, I will try and get the most accurate readings on your work. Well, without further ado, I will get started.

In the distance, Zoltar could hear the lonely howls of the Drilver dragons, their melodic calls deceivingly soft in the needle sharp night air.

Some of these mistakes will be about spaces and hyphens. Try to decide if any of the descriptive phrases need hyphens or if two words need a space.

Shriken’s plan had made perfect sense, but it required a lot on Zoltars part

Add an apostrophe. I wasn't sure whether his name had an s, so then I checked and it doesn't. So you had half of it right, you just need an apostrophe. You had an apostrophe back in the last sentence of the first paragraph:
The gash on her flank had clotted and was starting to heal nicely, much to Zoltar's relief.

So yay! You only missed it this time. I think.

Zoltar woke with a start as the thin fingers of an early dawn crept through the cell window, casting golden light over his obsidian black scales.

You don't need this word because it would flow nicer without it. Try and read it like that.

How long had he been asleep for?

Take out for. It is not needed.

The symptoms were already starting to show. He found himself shaking uncontrollable from time to time and the cold was almost unbearable.

Change the e to y. Uncontrollably

Shriken had laced the evenings food with sleep herb.

This sentence is so nice and short, I didn't expect to find any errors. Well, the only error is associated with evenings, in which you need to add an apostrophe or remove the s.

The last think Zoltar wanted was to end up asleep like the guards.

Now this one is a little more solid than the rest. I think you meant thing (haha)

It now needed only a few more well aimed blasts to melt the lock and free his tail.

No need to waste too much time on this one, just add a hyphen

Finely after a few heart stopping seconds, a small puff of flame erupted from Zoltar's jaws and connected with his tail case, melting the last of the lock.

This one is a two-in-one! Change fine-ly to fin-ally. Then add a hyphen to heart stopping.

Her golden eyes were like search lights in the darkness of the cell.

Aww
Anyways, I don't think you meant it that way, but - moving on!
I believe searchlight is a word, so it doesn't need a space in the middle. Remove it. NOW

Zoltar put is ear to the door, listening intently. From the other side he could hear the rhythmic breaths of a sleeping dragon.

These two sentences were so close to each other that I decided to have them together. How nice.
Add an h to is
Add a comma after side

Done. I'm finally done.
Overall, this story about dragons is a win in my book. Well, I hope this could help you out. Have a wonderful day.

With caution,

WaterSpout



This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy