Zoltar spun around, his heart pounding as the shriek echoed through the palace, bouncing off the walls and down into corridors.
An Ice Talon dragonet stood a few wing lengths from him, trembling from horns to tail as he shook one of the guards awake.
Without a second thought, Zoltar whirled around and dashed for the tower, swerving around the corner with an awful screech as his talons struggled to keep a grip on the slippery floor.
He had to get out of here. Everyone would have heard the Ice Talons call for help and the guards outside the throne room would be up in seconds. Any moment now they would raise the alarm and his fleeting chance to escape would be squished like a flame at nights end.
His heart was pounding in his ears.Wings beating the frigid air, he twisted this way and that, looking for a window large enough to fly out of.
He might not have time to reach the tower before the guards cut off his escape. On top of that, there might be Ice Talons posted outside the doorway leading up the tower. They’d have heard the dragonet’s call for help and would be ready to attack him as soon as they laid eyes on him.
Even if he could take on one or more Ice Talon guards, Zoltar wasn’t sure he’d be able to get past them before the other soldiers found out where he was.
To his dismay there were no windows he could escape through. They were all too small or barred and he couldn’t waste more time looking for a larger one. Guards or no guards, he’d have to brave the tower.
The ominous sound of wings beating the night air could be heard coming from the depths of the palace, growing louder with each passing second.
Clinching his teeth, Zoltar flew on, the maze of hallways and corridors becoming a blur as he headed up.
Before long the passage began to narrow. Turning a corner he saw the door to the tower; his way out.
Then he saw the Ice Talon, his arctic white scales clad in iron armor.
Digging his claws into the floor, Zoltar skidded to a halt, shards of ice flying from his paws.
The guard seemed to flinch upon seeing Zoltar, before baring his fangs and snarling, his spiked tail lashing violently.
Zoltar’s heart was racing. What was he going to do now?
While he was relieved to see that there was only one guard, he’d never be able to defeat him on his own in time. He couldn’t use his fire, it was only just hanging on. There wasn’t nearly enough heat to launch a fire ball. He could use his tail barb, but he’d already used up a lot of the poison for the escape so that wasn’t reliable. He’d have to depend on on his claws and teeth, not the strongest defense.
His best option would be to try getting past him and out the tower before the Ice Talon could catch up. There was just the one so he had a relatively good chance to get away.
‘No time to second guess it now,’ he thought as the Ice Talon leapt for him, his head reared back in preparation to fire his frost breathe.
Thinking fast, Zoltar sprang to the left, keeping his wings folded while a rain of frozen wind swept past him. As the guard stumbled past, he thrust out his wings with all his strength. The clawed ends of his wings connected with the already surprised Ice Talon, knocking him off balance long enough for Zoltar to hurtle past him and up the stairway to the tower.
He scrabbled up the long flight of stairs, the guard’s furious roar echoing in his ears. He had to get to the window. The rest of the palace guards would come to the Ice Talon’s aid in minutes. He had to be out the tower and hidden against the night sky before that happened.
The passage was narrow and slippery with ice as he raced up the stairs.
Surely Felistia and Shriken would have left after hearing the uproar. Shriken wouldn’t have let her risk her life over a Shadow Talon, friend or not. The only reason Shriken had let him come along was because Felistia had insisted and because he’d needed his corrosive poison. How would he have reacted after noticing his absence that was closely followed by the entire palace waking up?
His heart sank like a stone thrown into a lake as he reached the small room at the top of the tower. Felistia and Shriken were nowhere to be seen.
He ran over to the window and looked out into the night. They’d been here, but had left a few minutes ago judging by the claw marks in the snow coating the ledge.
Hope filled Zoltar. He might be able to catch up to them.
He had to hurry though. The scraping of talons on the stair case was growing louder by the second. The guard below must have gotten backup and soon soldiers would flood the room. He had to try and reach the glacier Shriken had told them about before they caught up to him.
Leaping up onto the windowsill, Zoltar jumped through the gap, the frame scraping his wings as he squeezed through. He had to snap open his wings almost immediately to avoid a protruding spire from the palace, flapping as he swerved around it.
Looking back he deliberately shed a scale, before looping around the palace and banked north east. That should throw them off the trail for a little while or at least make them think he went in the opposite direction.
He soared up towards the gathering clouds, the freezing cold vapor curling from the clouds biting at his scales as he climbed upward. So long as the storm didn’t break, he could stay up here just below the clouds.
Hidden against the dark backdrop, he searched the landscape below for Felistia and Shriken. Without night vision the guards wouldn’t be able to distinguish his shape from the brewing storm.
A cruel wind stung his face as he raced on, scanning the smooth plains below for any sign of the two Ice Talons.
Felistia was smart. She’d know to stay low against the ground, using her silver scales as camouflage until they reached the gorges a few miles from here.
He knew it would be hard to spot them against the snow, but he hoped with his night vision he’d be able to catch a glimpse of movement as they passed over the occasional rocky patch breaking through the otherwise white landscape.
With her and Shriken’s head start, they could be half way there by now. Zoltar knew he might not catch up to them. He could only hope that the fact that they were flying low would slow them down enough for him to catch up.
A long mournful howl pierced the still air; Drilvers. The soldiers must have let them loose to track them on foot. With a pack of Ice Talons searching from the air and Drilvers on the ground, Zoltar knew they had to get to the ravines soon.
He cast a worried glance above him. The air was crackling with electricity and low rumbling could be heard emanating from the growing storm clouds. Hopefully the blizzard would make it harder for the Ice Talons to find them later.
He had to find Felistia and Shriken before the storm broke though. He knew he’d never be able to make his way through it on his own, not after what happened last time.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
Getting there slowly. I'm sad that I'm catching up to the latest chapter because I'll have to wait to read the rest of it.
First Impression: Some nice solo skills demonstrated by Zoltar. Good that we can see him doing all of those smart attacks on his own.
Nice that he searched for that first.
Here I think the tail would still be pretty useful. The guards won't know it is out of poison but the guard will know it has poison so the guard would probably panic and take some time to realize the sting was not poisonous.
Interesting subplot detected with Shriken possibly getting mad at the theft of the diamonds.
Nice little distraction which reminds me. Didn't Emerald say that she'd give him a scale when they got to the mainland? I don't remember her giving him that scale.
So it is nighttime. Makes you wonder what a dragonet was doing walking around the throne room but okay.
Lovely ending there. Builds a good amount of tension. Lovely fight scene as always.
And that's it for this chapter.
Overall: Nice little segment showing that Zoltar is competent at doing this sort of thing. Now we have to wait and see what will happen next.
Okay that's it. I'm running off ASAP to get to the last two chapters.
As always remember to take what was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you for another review. I want to revisit that dragonet in the later chapters.
Another theory for you. (wink)
Your Welcome!!!
Theory Mode: "Subconscious data extractor. Get to work!!!!"
Omg I can't believe Zoltar might actually make it out of this alive and well.
How do the diamonds stay in his wings when he's flying? I think I'm not picturing how this is effective inventory space. Unless... he's going to lose them on the flight! O:
I like that this fight is getting drawn out. It's so suspenseful and I kept reading wondering if he was going to make it. I'm legit shocked that he's made it so far without much injury, the lucky duck. I'd definitely like to see some more close calls, but I might be speaking too soon. He could easily get caught next chapter and I wouldn't know yet!
There was a bit where Shriken was discussed in the narration, and I have to admit I didn't get the impression that Shriken didn't like Zoltar. But now that it's brought up, I would have liked to get an impression earlier on so as to foreshadow something like this, where Shriken apparently doesn't care about him at all and finds him expendable. This attitude is very different to Shriken getting angry about him possibly stealing the diamonds, and while Shriken might not jump to that conclusion at first, he'll eventually piece together that something lured Zoltar away from him and Felistia -- and what else besides the diamonds would be that motivation? So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know if Shriken would ever care about Zoltar going his own way anymore as this bit here makes it sound like he wouldn't care, but last chapter (or two), it sounded like Shriken would care. Where do Felistia and the diamonds fall on his priority list?
I like the clever trick of Zoltar throwing a scale out there for the scent. I don't think he should put much faith in that one scale though since the guards would presumably be trained hunters and, therefore, know that seemingly basic trick. If anything, they'd split the group, but I think Zoltar's scent may still be stronger than the one scale. I'm... not sure though. XD I'M JUST SAYIN' as clever as it was, it didn't seem like it would help him all that much.
My favorite part of this chase scene is that we watch Zoltar hunt as well. You've done this well before, and you didn't let down here either. You had him tracking footprints and scents and thinking through what kind of path the subject would run while also considering the strengths and weaknesses of everyone involved. I just really appreciate that attention to detail so we can really get into Zoltar's shoes here.
HNNNNNNNG I can't wait to read the next part 'cause like... what happens if Zoltar makes it out alive with the diamonds? There's no way that'll happen 'cause that'd be too easy. If they make it, then the novel is over, right? So something must happen, like Zoltar loses the diamond(s) or Felistia ended up going back for him or Zoltar gets injured and/or kidnapped or I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. omg and now I wonder if Zoltar gets kidnapped again, would Felistia get Emerald and Shiraku as their backup? Emerald might at least endure it. OR MAYBE THEY TAKE THE FIGHT TO THEM!?
oh i have no idea, there are so many possibilities here. And I know it's going to make me nervous!!
Thank you so much for another review.
This novel is far from over. This is just the first part of this book. You'll find out a lot more in the next two chapters in regards to their escape and some deep dark secrets.
Hello, felistia! It's nice reviewing your work again, mostly because the other stories don't interest me. There are a few, but I should get reviewing.
Okay, like I mentioned previously in almost all my reviews, I will be checking grammar. Plot can be left to someone more professional in that area.
With that out of the way, I'll get started with my review!
1.
There needs to be an apostrophe, since end belongs to night
2.
There needs to be a space in between the period and Wings. I know this may seem unnecessary, but proofreading would eliminate at least half of the small errors. I'm not saying you aren't, I'm just suggesting you should proofread if you aren't already. Not sure if that makes sense.
3.
Add a comma after dismay, since all of that is an introductory phrase.
4.
Fireball is a word, so you should delete the space in between.
5.
I hate it when I make these errors. It just bugs me how everything could have been correct, except my brain thought it forgot one word and ends up writing two of the same words together.
6.
First off, I don't think the is needed. You should consider removing it. And second, I'm not sure if getaway should be used here. I looked it up and it seems you are correct. Getaway acts more like a noun, and get away acts like a verb.
7.
This one is also tricky. Why does English have to be so hard...
According to Google, leapt and leaped are acceptable as past and present tense. SO I will let that one slide and I'll let you decide. Correct breathe to breath. Breathe is a verb, while breath is a noun.
8.
I'm not sure if this was done the way it is because it was how you intended it, but there needs to be of before the.
9.
I'll let you decide on this one. I think you should change because to that. If that doesn't make sense to you, you can ignore this. Just read it with because, then with that.
10.
In this one, you don't need a comma.
11.
These are all of the small errors I found. Just take out the space and you'll be good to go.
12.
Add a comma, since Hopefully is an introductory word.
13.
And last one:
The word should be through, I would imagine. Probably just typo.
Overall, I like where this is going. Maybe not the BEST best story, but it surely does entertain. Thank you for this.
And now that should be all I have to say.
With caution,
WaterSpout