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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Quest for Fire - Frozen Past - Chapter Four

by felistia


Zoltar woke with a yell, his whole scaly body trembling in fright. He looked around with wild eyes, expecting to see the frozen walls of an Ice Talon prison, but instead saw Emerald and Shiraku, their sides steadily rising and falling with each breath as they slept.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He must have rolled away from Emerald in the night, allowing the freezing wind to blow against his back. That could have influenced his sleep. Shivering he took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm his shaken nerves. It had all been a dream. Still, it had been so vivid.

Thankfully he hadn’t woken Emerald or Shiraku, but Felistia wasn’t with them. He looked around him. She was a few steps away from them, looking towards the far off snows whirling in the south as her scales gleamed porcelain white in the shimmering light of the two moons.

Zoltar swallowed, trying to still his racing heart. It had only been a dream. It was just his fear talking. Felistia hadn’t don’t anything wrong…yet.

As soon as he thought that, Zoltar felt ashamed. How could he think that? She was his friend. Not only that, but she’d helped him save Emerald’s life in the Maze. She wasn’t going to betray him just because she wanted to leave the group. She had her own life and wasn’t obligated to stay with him and this stupid quest.

Then Zoltar felt a cold shiver run down his back. He was being watched. He glanced back at Felistia to find that she was staring at him with her golden orb like eyes. As if sensing something was wrong, she got up and started to pad silently towards him.

“Are you okay?” she asked sitting down next to him, “You look like you had a nightmare.”

Zoltar felt his heart start to beat like a war drum against his rib cage as her dark shadow fell over his face. He hastily got up, so that her snake like shadow no longer loomed over him. Was it just him or did she seem larger in the pale moonlight?

“What was it about this time?” Felistia asked as she wrapped one of her silver wings over his back.

Zoltar resisted the urge to recoil from her touch. He kept seeing flashes of her baring her teeth and lashing out at him with her claws.

‘It was just a dream,’ he told himself firmly, ‘Remember what Emerald told you. She’s your friend. Now talk to her.’

Taking a deep breath, Zoltar relaxed his muscles, “I did have another nightmare. I don’t know why I had it. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that I’ll fail this mission and let my tribe and friends down. I’m not sure why I had the dream, but…” Zoltar hesitated for a moment before sighing, “It was about you.”

Felistia’s eyes widened and Zoltar felt her flinch, but she didn’t say anything.

“I was alone in the Ice Talon Kingdom. For some reason Emerald and Shiraku were being held in the prison and I was trying to rescue them. Then you appeared,” Zoltar dropped his eyes, suddenly feeling ashamed about his dream, “You said something about the queen rewarding you for bringing me in. We fought and the dream ended with you killing me. Again I’m not sure why I dreamt this. I know you’d never hurt me. I guess I must had just been picking up on your distant behavior the last few days. That might have been what caused the dream or maybe it’s just my stress. I don’t know.”

Felistia remained silent, her eyes trained on the snow cloaked ground. Finally she sighed, “I guess I have been a bit off the last few days. I thought, or I guess hoped, you wouldn’t notice it,” She scratched behind the back of her horns awkwardly, “You see, you’re not the only one who has a lot on their plate right now. I’ve had to think over a lot since we left the island. That’s probably why I came across a bit grouchy on the beach yesterday. I guess I owe you an apology for worrying you.”

She laughed lightly, “It must have looked like I’d swapped moods with Shiraku for a little while. No wonder you’re worrying. Now that I look back I have been quite different.”

Zoltar smiled, breathing a quiet sigh of relief. Emerald had been right about Felistia.

“Well enough about how I’ve been. What about you? You’re clearly under strain,” Felistia said, brush his wing with her snout.

“I guess I am quite stressed. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen tomorrow. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this on my own.I’ve never been this close to the Ice Talon Kingdom, let alone flown to the palace. On top of that I have to do it without being seen. The whole thing seems impossible to me.”

Felistia was silent and for a moment Zoltar felt like he’d hit a sore spot, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He interjected quickly. He didn’t want to offend her.

“No, that’s fine. I’ve just been wondering the same thing myself or at least along those lines,” Felistia sighed, “You mustn’t think that I’m against you going Zoltar. Almost the opposite really.”

She growled softly, scrapping at the frost bitten ground with her claws,” By now you must have realized I have a few enemies back there. You managing to steal one of the Queen’s diamonds would be quite gratifying to see.”

Zoltar looked at her, questioningly.

“I guess you could fly with me to the heart of the Ice Talon Kingdom. I know all the secret paths and some company would be good,” She flashed him a smile, but the look on her face was cold as steel, “Then we split up okay? You can’t go where I’m going.”

Zoltar nodded, “Thank you Felistia. This means so much to me.”

“Don’t mention it,” Felistia murmured, before yawning loudly, “I need to get back to sleep. You should too. It’s going to be a long flight tomorrow.” She got to her feet, splaying her claws as she stretched. She flopped down just a little way from where the others were sleeping. Soon her sides rose and fell with the calm of sleep.

A deep sigh escaped Zoltar’s jaws. He couldn’t believe how relieved he was that Felistia was coming with him tomorrow. Only now did he realize how worried he’d been about the whole matter. Without Felistia’s help he’d be spotted and captured within hours of entering the kingdom. Now with her help hopefully it would be somewhat easy sailing until the palace. Then things would get tricky. He’d try to get a little more information out of her regarding the palace tomorrow.

For now though sleep was his main focus.

Zoltar stood up and walked over to where Emerald was curled up, snoring softly. He lay down next to her, tucking his wings around him to fight off the biting cold. Soon his eyes began to grow heavy and he was carried off into a gentle sleep.


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Points: 1361
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Wed Jul 15, 2020 12:42 am
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SpiderFingers wrote a review...



I'm so relieved that the previous scene in chapter four was only a dream! Initially I was surprised by Zoltar's quick confession to Felistia about the nightmare, but pleasantly-surprised because many characters tend to draw out these difficult confessions.

It was really neat to see that Zoltar wasn't willing to put a curve on the truth. It also proved that he still held a lot of trust in Felistia deep down and I really liked that aspect of this chapter! The two appear to be good friends and Felistia obviously still cares a great deal about her group, despite her aloof behavior.

But there is a bit of mystery on her part, and it definitely adds to the story's characters and conflict. It really feels like Felistia is being honest to Zoltar (especially concerning her feelings toward her previous kingdom), but I can tell the story is building up to some unexpected truths.

Great dialog once again! Both characters have strong personality and it shows through their conversations. Excited to see what's next!

~Spider~




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Thu Jun 18, 2020 6:39 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Marching on,

First Impression: Okay Felistia is still being very mysterious and it looks like Emerald and Shiraku will be left outside for a couple of chapters. Also I get the feeling that once Felistia is alone we get some Felistia POV.

Then Zoltar felt a cold shiver run down his back. He was being watched. He glanced back at Felistia to find that she was staring at him with her golden orb like eyes. As if sensing something was wrong, she got up and started to pad silently towards him.


I thought she'd have noticed him earlier. Didn't he wake up with a yell?

Taking a deep breath, Zoltar relaxed his muscles, “I did have another nightmare. I don’t know why I had it. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that I’ll fail this mission and let my tribe and friends down. I’m not sure why I had the dream, but…” Zoltar hesitated for a moment before sighing, “It was about you.”

Felistia’s eyes widened and Zoltar felt her flinch, but she didn’t say anything.

“I was alone in the Ice Talon Kingdom. For some reason Emerald and Shiraku were being held in the prison and I was trying to rescue them. Then you appeared,” Zoltar dropped his eyes, suddenly feeling ashamed about his dream, “You said something about the queen rewarding you for bringing me in. We fought and the dream ended with you killing me. Again I’m not sure why I dreamt this. I know you’d never hurt me. I guess I must had just been picking up on your distant behavior the last few days. That might have been what caused the dream or maybe it’s just my stress. I don’t know.”


Well that was a quick confession but it's good that he is no longer keeping secrets.

She laughed lightly, “It must have looked like I’d swapped moods with Shiraku for a little while. No wonder you’re worrying. Now that I look back I have been quite different.”


Good that she is realizing this now and trying to make light of it. Conveys her personality well.

She growled softly, scrapping at the frost bitten ground with her claws,” By now you must have realized I have a few enemies back there. You managing to steal one of the Queen’s diamonds would be quite gratifying to see.”


The plot thickens and my theory gains more ground.

“I guess you could fly with me to the heart of the Ice Talon Kingdom. I know all the secret paths and some company would be good,” She flashed him a smile, but the look on her face was cold as steel, “Then we split up okay? You can’t go where I’m going.”


I like that Zoltar doesn't have to do this all alone.

For now though sleep was his main focus.

Zoltar stood up and walked over to where Emerald was curled up, snoring softly. He lay down next to her, tucking his wings around him to fight off the biting cold. Soon his eyes began to grow heavy and he was carried off into a gentle sleep.


The way this is going Shiraku will probably wake him up next and have a conversation in the next chapter. I do hope he actually gets some sleep.

And that's it.

Overall: Tells us a few more things about Felista's personality and adresses he radical change in the past few chapters. But then I feel like we're headed for choppy waters in the future.

And that's another one down. As always Take what you think helps and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




felistia says...


Ooo your getting so close to some fantastic chapters. Looking forward to it. :D



KateHardy says...


Well just about to dive in!!



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Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:17 am
JabberHut wrote a review...



I AM BACK SO SOON!

I, for one, am SO glad it was just a dream. And I think it was a good sign that it felt so far-fetched (but not TOO much) that I was able to kinda feel good about that hypothesis. Felistia had felt appropriately out-of-character for a dream sequence, and the feeling of betrayal was really strong. I also felt like the dream might've moved super fast into Zoltar's emotional stages facing the betrayal which could also add to the feeling of ridiculousness a dream/nightmare can have, though I wouldn't mind dwelling on the heartbreak a bit more 'cause I know I can feel that physically when it pops up in a dream for me. Right in the feels heart. T_T

It's just really nice to see Felistia's normal self again. I think I'm still generally worried about the major change in personality, and I see her address that change (even comparing herself to Shiaraku), but it almost feels a bit out of place anyway. But I do feel like you writing that part indicates you'll revisit this later on.

But at the moment, I'm just pleased to see her normal self. And maybe it's an act to get Zoltar off her back, but I feel like there's at least some truth behind her words. I wonder what she is possibly dealing with now that she's finding herself back in the Ice Talon kingdom?! It clearly never bothered her until she was making the trip home, so there must be some amount of anxiety and stress holding her back.

And it's really interesting to think she isn't really self-aware when it comes to her attitude. This kinda goes back to her out-of-character bit, but I always thought she was a bit more in-tune with her attitude and how she's seen to others. So I definitely look forward to seeing Felistia's whole story so I can fully understand what's going through her mind right now!

Also, poor Zoltar now having TWO separate conversations in one night. At one point, he couldn't fall asleep, and now he's woken by a nightmare. Like goodness, how is he ever going to be well-rested?!




felistia says...


Thank you for the review so soon. :D

Felistia has a lot to deal with and you'll soon find out what she has going on in her mind in a few chapters time. :D



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Sun Apr 26, 2020 5:34 am
starlitnight wrote a review...



this story is still super amazingggg!!! i'm in love honestly! the story flows so well AND it's beautifully written! no complaints from me here! but there is just two grammatical errors i saw, just gonna point them out. they're super duper easy to fix. :)

you forgot a space between sentences here! (i do that too, don't worry xD)

I’m not sure how I’m going to do this on my own.I’ve never been this close to the Ice Talon Kingdom, let alone flown to the palace.


and in this one there's an extra space between the quotation mark and the first word. (i really dislike the space bar sometimes. don't you?)

” By now you must have realized I have a few enemies back there. You managing to steal one of the Queen’s diamonds would be quite gratifying to see.”


otherwise, keep up the great work! and keep on writing! ^w^

~laynie <3





As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.
— Calvin