Published June 12, 2020
The clack of talons against stone rang out through the corridor, closely followed by panting as Shriken rushed down the tunnel.
“You guys ready?” He whispered as his paws scrabbled to get the door unlocked.
“Yes, how long do we have?” Felistia hissed through the key hole.
“About half an hour. The guards only just fell asleep. You didn’t eat the food they gave you right?” Shriken said, finally getting the door open.
Zoltar cringed at the loud creak, instinctively looking at the guard slouched against the door frame. He didn’t make a sound though, snoring on contently.
“No. We didn’t touch it,” Zoltar hissed as he crept over the guard’s limp tail that was lying across the doorway.
Shriken anxious face relaxed before turning to Felistia and smiling, “Come on. I’ve got a route through the glacier that should keep us hidden until we reach the border.”
She nodded, giving the guard one last lingering look before turning to leave.
Together the three dragons raced up the tunnel, their paws drumming against the cold, stone floor. They only had half an hour to get out of here. Zoltar also knew he somehow needed to slip away from the group so he could steal the Ice Diamond.
A small thread of doubt began to unravel his thoughts. Where was Shiler? She wouldn’t have eaten the same food as the guards. She’d probably still be awake somewhere in the palace. She might even be in the throne room still. He’d need to be careful.
It was also quite likely that there were other Ice Talons that hadn’t eaten the drugged food. Servants and other palace workers could still be up and would raise the alarm if they saw them. What if one of them saw the guards asleep. Surely they’d figure out something was amiss.
Half an hour was the longest they had. It was likely that the alarm would be raised before then.
Soon they emerged into the heart of the palace. It was almost pitch black saved for the few glowing blue rocks embedded in the walls and the thin rays of moonlight cutting through the clear ice above.
The carved Ice Talon figures from before cast twisted shadows across the walls, casing Zoltar to flinch every once in a while for fear that it was an Ice Talon. Felistia was equally tense beside him, her tail poised for battle and her glittering eyes darting from shadow to shadow, looking for any sign of trouble.
“Keep close now and be quiet,” Shriken hissed, as he slunk along, “We’re nearing the throne room. There might still be some dragons awake, so keep your ears open for trouble.”
Zoltar chest clinched. So he had been right to think that there were others around the palace. Suddenly he didn’t feel so keen on slipping away on his own. Felistia and Shriken wouldn’t be around to help him if he got into trouble.
Stopping to take a deep breath, Zoltar snorted stubbornly. He had to do this. This was the only reason he was here and if he failed, his tribe would be doomed. Who knew what the Ghost Talons would do if he didn’t fulfil his side of the bargain.
Zoltar was jolted from his thoughts by a low growl from Felistia. He looked up ahead. Two guards were posted outside the throne room. Zoltar’s entire body tensed. Were they asleep?
As they neared, he could see that the dragon’s bodies were slumped against the doors having pushed them slightly ajar.
Zoltar breathed a sigh of relief. It was time to put his plan into action.
As they passed, Zoltar quietly stepped behind one of the statues. He shot Felistia a meaningful glance and she nodded. She’d keep Shriken distracted until he returned with the diamond.
Zoltar waited until they had moved on, disappearing behind a corner. He’d catch up with them later. Shriken had already explain where they were going the night before so he shouldn’t have too much trouble finding them again.
Taking a deep breath Zoltar walked towards the throne room. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he approached the guards. Their unconscious figures held the great silver doors slightly ajar causing a blade of silvery light to slice through the slit.
Zoltar sucked in his sides and slipped through the gap. He didn’t want to risk trying to open the doors more. They might squeal or even worse the movement could wake the guards up. The sleep herbs may have put them to sleep, but anything could wake them up again. He had to be quiet.
He scanned the room. On the far left side was the case holding the Ice Diamond like he remembered, but there seemed to be two inside the glass this time. Zoltar blinked in confusion. He didn’t remember there being two.
Maybe he’d missed the second one last time he’d been here. He had been chained and was being led out the room when he saw it. It would have been easy to miss one.
With a quick shrug Zoltar crept silently up to the case, putting his snout to the glass. The diamonds were beautiful in the pale light. One was glowing with a creamy silver light like that of the moon and the other was crackling ever so slightly with flashes of light. Which one was it?
If he took the wrong one, his mission would be a failure. For a moment he wished Felistia were here. She’d be able to tell him which one was right. Regrettably she wasn’t. She was on her way to the tower above him.
He snorted, pondering his options, before settling on a decision. Without Felistia here to tell him which one was the Ice Diamond, he’d have to take both of them.
After carefully examining the case for any traps, Zoltar arched his tail like a scorpion and leaked a few drops of black poison onto the casket. The glass immediately disintegrated into nothing, leaving the diamonds gently pulsing on the blue cloth surrounding them.
Zoltar glanced behind him. No movement or sound from the guards outside.
Picking the cloth up by four corners, he lifted the diamonds and stowed them away in the dip between his two shoulder blades. They’d be safe there for the moment.
Breathing a sigh of relief, he turned to leave. He needed to catch up with Felistia before Shriken notice his absence.
He slipped back through the gap in the doors and started to headed back up the way Felistia and Shriken had gone.
Then there was shrill screech from behind him.
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140,099 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
Into the final leg of this reviewathon. Four more to go.
First Impression: Looks like Zoltar is about to get in trouble. Overall neat little plan and I like how they are mindful of the fact that not everyone will have been hit the sleeping herbs.
So looks like Shriken was planning on joining them if the plan succeeded.
Does this sleeping herb function only for half hour regardless of amount or was there some maximum that could be added which gives them only half hour? I think that should be specified or people might think they could have bought themselves some more time.
Good depiction of how nervous he is.
Wouldn't the throne room be locked?
Some slight confusion here. In the original list it said an ice diamond suggesting there were many and only one was needed so I don't see why he is searching for 'the ice diamond' becuase he seems to think only one of them would work.
That's a smart decision.
Either the queen is arrogant enough to think no one would make it this far into the Ice Talon kingdom or she doesn't care that much about these diamonds. You'd think she'd have come up with a better security system.
Looks like someone saw him. Time to throw everything to hell and run for his life. Something tells me he drops the correct diamond but gets away. OR they don't get away?
Anyway that's another one done.
Overall: This is a well written escape plan. Not too complicated but very logical. And now it looks like they either improvise the plan very quickly or the plan fails.
Anyway Imma go investigate that screech now. As always take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Thank you for another review. In regards to you thinking there are multiple Ice diamonds, I did make it like that in the beginning, but changed my mind by the time I got here. I need to go back and edit that detail. Sorry about the confusion.
Your Welcome!!
Aaah that clears it up. No worries. I'm sure this story will be perfect once you go back and edit it.
this is TOTALLY helping my team tortoise plan, not gonna lie XD PLUS I'M EXCITED BECAUSE THINGS ARE PICKING UP!!
Wait why do they only have half an hour?! That sounds so specific, like someone could set a timer to ensure they make it out in time. XD
Gosh that's a lot of food Shriken laced with sleeping stuff. And I assume dragons eat, like, meat. So did he just drench ALL the meat in the meat freezer with buckets of sleeping draught? Or like everything but the queen's--I'm so curious as to how Shriken did it all on his own! But I AM glad that Zoltar knew not everyone in the palace would be affected -- especially the queen.
Oooh if they saw the guards asleep.... did they leave the prison door open!? Did they close the creaky cell door shut before they left, despite it making so much noise? If the door was closed and the guard was asleep, then they might not think anything of it.
Ohhh okay so the 30-minute time limit is just a guestimation for when the guards might notice their disappearance. Seems dangerous giving them a whole 30 minutes though, I wouldn't personally think about a timer for it. You never know when someone finds out you're running away!
I'm curious about the palace layout! I honestly didn't expect that they'd conveniently sneak by the throne room 'cause that seems like a bad idea in hindsight. A throne room would probably be busy, unless Shriken knows for a fact that it's so late and the throne room is always empty or abandoned during this time. (But then again, the jewel is there, so it's probably not abandoned by security.)
oh god zoltar no you're gonna screw up just. just come back later when you have a betteR PLAN ZOLTAR PLEASE
I'm glad Zoltar knew how this sleeping draught worked. It would be neat if this was a unique concotion by the Ice Talons, but it sounds like they used a common sleeping draught and had access to the ingrediends required for it. I wonder (very randomly and off topic) if dragon tribes have their own herbs or concoctions unique to their land/area/environment. How crazy would it be if like Zoltar was allergic to the Ice Talon sleeping draught because it had Farglnsskl herbs in it or something wild?! XD
DON'T LEAVE YOUR SNOUT PRINT ON THE GLASS unless dragons aren't like dogs whose nose print is as unique as a human's fingerprint idk
TAKE THEM BOTH. YOU'RE ALREADY STEALING SO GO BIG OR
GO HOME(too soon? XD)I wonder why they have two to begin with and what each one does...
I love your dragons. I never would have even THOUGHT that dragons could hide something deep in the dip of their shoulderblades. Like how clever is that? I'll bet it's gonna dig into his skin for a while though I HOPE IT DOESN'T FALL OUT OGOD omg he's going to get caught isn't he. he's gonna get cuaght and he'll be running or flying relaly fast and one of the diamonds are just gonna roll out onto the floor and he won't have time to pick it up and ogod it'll be the one he needed toooooooo
It just seems like SHriken would notice his absence. Like he'd notice a pair of feet were missing from behind or something, you know? Or Zoltar's foreign scent was weaker all of a sudden?
OF COURSE THERE'S A SHRILL SCREECH THAT ENDS THE CHAPTER OMG it better not be felistia DON'T YOU HARM HER!
Thank you so much for another review. I love hearing your thoughts. You keep giving me so many ideas to add into later chapter and to current ones when I come back to edit them.
I'll get onto writing the next chapter soon.
Hello, felistia! I myself noticed that I kept coming back to review your work. I try finding anything that interests me enough to leave a review. There is a lot more poetry than novels and short stories, so I thought I'd review more novels.
Anyways, with that out of the way, I will correct some of your grammar errors. Like I said before, plot is not my strongest suit, I am still trying to get to a better understanding before I judge it.
Okay, with that out of the way, I'll get started. No offense intended
keyhole is one word, so there is no need for the space.
I'm not sure about this one, but it might be more readable if you could add a comma after Diamond?
Saved isn't the right tense here, so I'd recommend changing it to save.
add an apostrophe and s to Zoltar. Also, clinched isn't the right word. Maybe clenched?
Again with the wrong tense. Not blaming you or anything, though
explain -> explained
Add of before the.
Add a comma. This one's a simple mistake any makes, so I won't say anything more. Like this other one:
Add a comma after Regrettably.
This one is just adding one letter. Add an s.
Maybe you should work on your past particles, but it's just a suggestion. Remove the ed.
Add an a before shrill.
And that's that. Remember that these are suggestions, and not delivered with the wrong intention.
Overall, I am liking your story. I wonder what's gonna happen next.
With caution,
WaterSpout