Lunar Blaze chapter 23

What happened to chapter twenty one and twenty two? I earnestly tried to Google search them: however, I was unable to find them (it was a half-hearted attempt.) Regardless, I found that strange. We went from a skeleton to this.

A hand came from behind and wrapped around her mouth.

A hand cannot wrap around a mouth. A hand can cover a mouth seeing how it's a glorified food hole: however, you cannot wrap anything around a human's glorified food hole.

She attempted to scream but he smothered her attempts.

Hold on. Let me get this straight. The protagonist tries to scream once: however, the antagonist has smothered this one attempt. Where did these other attempts come from?

she hit him in the head twice with the back of her fist

I want to believe you meant to say the back of her hand, but even so -that's awkward. When you say back of her fist, I immediately thought what's the back of a fist? Her wrists? With that question answered, I wonder next -why would someone try to awkwardly beat their assailant with their fists? The natural instinct when you have someone in this position -behind you- to ram him or her into the wall.

The man clenched his jaw.

After all that, that's it? Seriously? I would've growled, "You little (censoring myself here) brat!"

in a Russian language

There is only one Russian language -Russian.

Selina bit the man on the finger

She bites him on the finger denoting a single finger? The phrasing of this makes it seem she only had a single finger readily available. Considering he's covering her mouth, the only reasonable way for her to bite his finger is to yank his hand down and then bite -even so, she's bound to get a knuckle and not really be aiming for a single finger.

She jerked away from and ran out the door. “I don’t speak Russian jerk,”

Now, it being presented as this is awkward. The phrase doesn't feel write -what is she jerking from? And how is this immediately related to running out the door? Which logically speaking doesn't sound right because so far we know she's jerked away from him, but nothing about her running TOWARDS the door much less out of one. Try to vary your sentence structure, here is my suggestion:

She jerked away from him.

Running out towards the door, she called over her shoulder: "I don't speak Russian, you jerk."

Even after altering the way it is written, I'm wondering: how does she know he's speaking Russian? It could've easily been Slovak, Lithuanian, or any other Eastern European country. I personally would've snarked back with, "Try speaking English, you idiot."

She could probably have one a few marathons if she knew she had such adrenaline.

I believe you meant to say endurance, not adrenaline. Adrenaline is the "fight or flight" response, which I highly doubt could last for a marathon's official distance of 42.195 kilometers (26 miles and 385 yards.) Adrenaline also inspires a shortness of breath. To run a marathon, you need to keep your breathing even and stable otherwise you'll overwork your heart and your body will give -very quickly.

If they could see her now, the kids who called her weird and such, would they be jealous?

Hold on. How is seeing a girl run for her life weird? And if they would call her weird, I'm most certainly sure they would not be jealous of the weird girl.

She realized that despite all the bad stuff, her life was great, and she continued on with a wild grin on her face.

Yes, when I am running for my life -I think about how great life is because who cares about the fact I'm unsure when the next Russian will attack or you know, the fact I have to run for my life. If you're going to keep this in the piece, I advise you try to convince me why this statement isn't something she came up with because she's delusional after running for so long on purely adrenaline. What makes her life so great? I would like to be one of the kids in class, sleeping and safe rather than . . . running for my life from an unknown assailant.

I don't know, call me boring.

All the scary Russians? Is there more than one? Where in the world were they when she was running this entire time? By the way, when did she get out of the compound or is she still there? I have no idea. All I know is that she's still running in some corridor. Does this corridor have a sight in end?

Wait, there is a web of doom? Spider? Okay, this is starting to border on cheesy. Try to find a more serious metaphor because I'm not sensing the urgency here.

I agree with her though: what in the world is she even doing here? Wait. She has a mother? A mother that lets her run for her life instead of I don't know making it so she wouldn't have to.

It is two feet, not too feet.

When he spoke, not her spoke.

I can't take the ending line seriously. Night-night?

Overall: vary your sentence structure -it's crucial for pacing seeing how this piece is action centric, I advise that you make the sentences curt and to the point. Anything more and you're really slowing down the piece. Also describe what's going on more in depth, to my understanding she's running, but I don't know if towards an exit or mindlessly trying to find a way out.