Young Writers Society

[“less boring then the two” – than, sorry it bugged me had to point it out]

The beginning is somewhat sudden, you might wish to work on it a bit. You know in movies, go and start any movie, in the very beginning before actions begin there’s an establishing shot. A shot that captures the whole of a scene to establish place and time. Well they do that for a reason, and you need something of the sort here. Something to sets the mood, and in general orient the reader in where they are and what’s going on. Start with something physical down to earth, before you delve into the abstract world of thought. Also perhaps it’s this “after a while” thing that most bugs me. You start with it and it suggests that this statement it’s a follow up to something else, but it’s the very start of a new chapter, there's nothing before it, its disorienting, get what I mean?

Next, I find her reaction to, ehem: “I was patting you! I was patting you and you didn’t even stop me! You’re sick!” she said in disgust.”
Illogical.
In front of her is a talking cat that can shapeshift into everything and is a human. Why is her first reaction that of an utter disgust over having patted it? That might indeed be a feeling of the character but it will certainly come second to surprise or astonishment or wonder over the fact that: hey there are shapeshifters in this world.

Also she is too… fluctuating. Her emotions are more unstable than a bi-polar on steroids in a sugar rush. Try to balance out her responses. (this referring to her suddenly grinning on the account that her romantic interest is pretty)
And more on the romantic interest. Perhaps he appears a bit too soon and too obviously, although that opinion is most certainly due to personal preferences. I’d usually go for a more subtle and less forced romance, if any, but it’s your story so do it as you prefer.

Let’s take a step back here… Is she a vampire? If she isn’t there isn’t a way, according to common fantasy and mythology, for her to be nursed back to health through drinking blood. Also why is she asking these questions now? She should have been asking herself “how did I survive” the moment she woke up and realized it hadn’t been a dream. Now back to the blood. There is no way for a normal human being, or any common mythological or supernatural other than a vampire, to be able to recover itself by drinking blood. If in that universe, that's something common, establish it. If not, there are some serious questions to be raised.

“The engine seemed to grunt in anger and determination.” – odd.

Overall, there are way too many questions to be asked or answered in this chapter, I can’t call it even close to complete. As for introducing another character I suppose it is good, the pacing is not bad either. But you need much more in terms of context.

Pftaha!
“No kidding, I thought you were a talking dog actually.” - Oh how this made me laugh. I like Jimmy a lot, because he has brought out a bit more attitude in Selina, and she needs that. He seems really playful and his introduction as a mere cat is a great idea to ground him in a more gentle nature before revealing that he is some kind of grand protector. Also, the dialogue between these two is brilliant!

But!
Sorry, there is a but. Selina just randomly left Moina to think? I think you should take advantage, again, of showing of their personalities by explaining why. Did Selina not want to talk, or did Moina react negetively? People don't just magically drift out of rooms, as easy as that is with the click of a scene changer, there needs to be some interaction that breaks them apart in that tense moment.

Balance
Also just a quick warning (although not very quick since this is four months belated) is that this has a lot of dialogue. You should try to balance your writing between Dialogue, Action, Description, and Introspection. All that white space on the right of the screen is ugly. When there is too much dialogue you can use the scapegoat I provided earlier. Look at the world through your characters eyes and see what she sees. What looks different to her now compared to what it did before. What does she notice most of all the things that are around her, and why. Here you can throw in a whole load of description and introspection to balance out the dialogue.

Now, to #4 !

P.S
She's at her other house? So where was she in Chapter two?