E - Everyone

The Psychic Circle: Chapter 17

The man walked closer, and his face was lit by the kitchen light, revealing a solid jaw line, and sharp facial features.

“Viper...” Nikki whispered, and Alexia was confused at the out of context word. But the guy’s lifted his dark eyebrows in recognition and his smile grew broader.

“Nice that you haven’t forgotten me so soon.” He said, keeping his arm up.

Alexia glanced at his manipulation of the knives suspended in her friends’ faces, as her mind raced and she started piecing together what he was implying. He was one of the unsavoury types from the Angel Club. Alexia stared him down, drawing Nikki closer to her in a subtle but deliberate motion.

The guy who called himself Viper (Probably not his real name, Alexia thought) looked down and to the left, biting on his bottom lip, with a look of restraint on his face. He was offended in some way.

He looked up again, intensity in his eyes and a snarl on his lips. “You, Redhead. You must be the one who was at the Angel Club.”

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Alexia snapped back without hesitating.

Viper laughed unpleasantly. “What it is to you, is that you seem like the type who likes her friends in their respective singular pieces.” He rotated his wrist dramatically, and Alexia couldn’t help but break her attention away, turning her head towards where the other three were. One after the other, the knives drifted gently, but with horrible intent, closer to their faces. Alexia dropped all her bravado.

“No!” she cried.

Viper smiled, satisfied that he held the upper hand. Alexia tightened her jaw and looked from Naomi, to Hanson, Casey and Jake. She didn’t know what to do. It was Jake who caught her eye the longest, shaking her head a micro millimetre, mouthing the words, Don’t be stupid.

“Don’t worry, love, they can leave with their skin on,” said Viper, “I’d just like to ask Nikki to come with us, as we’ll be needing her particular talents.”

“Is this how gentlemen act where you come from?” Alexia said, stalling for time. Why wasn’t Hanson able to move the suspended knives with his mind?

“Oh, I’m no gentleman, love,” he said darkly, and shifted his gaze to Nikki while still addressing Alexia. “But due to my keen observation, I see you’re not Nikki’s mum, are you? The choice is hers.”

Nikki hadn’t stopped staring at Viper. She was studying him, but there was something else there. Some sense of wonder... or admiration. Alexia squeezed Nikki’s shoulder tighter as a sign that she wasn’t going to let her be taken, but Nikki placed her hand on Alexia’s and gently removed it from her shoulder.

Nikki turned to Alexia. “He hasn’t come to hurt you, Alexia. He only wants me. I will not endanger any of you anymore.” She stepped towards Viper, away from Alexia and Naomi’s zone of safety. Alexia’s fingers stiffened, wanting to keep a hold of Nikki’s shoulders, but she let go. Nikki’s choice was clear. Alexia tried to catch Naomi’s eye to get her to read her mind, but Naomi was transfixed on Viper. If she sent out a signal to the others, it may not be clear what she wanted them to do.

Viper had his head slightly cocked to the side as he regarded Nikki. He also seemed mildly surprised that Nikki had chosen so easily. She stood next to Viper now, perfectly relaxed.

Viper looked back up at Alexia, smiling. “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll take the time to visit.” But his voice dripped with sarcasm. He turned to Nikki, indicating with an arm gesture that she should head to the door.

Suddenly, Casey tensed, and focussed on the knife in front of her. It began to tilt upwards ever so slightly, its shape warping from the two opposing forces against it. But as soon as it was in motion, Casey couldn’t get her power to control it any more. However, Hanson saw what she was attempting to do, and focussed his mind on the knife in front of Casey, ignoring the smaller knife in his face.

Alexia held her breath, glanced in Viper’s direction, and saw that his back was turned and his attention was on Nikki. Hanson wrenched control of Casey’s knife, and in an instant had it spinning tip over handle in Viper’s direction. At the speed it was going, it was sure to hit its target, but it stopped an inch before it struck, frozen in mid air at Viper’s left shoulder. Viper himself had stopped walking, and for a moment, every eye in the room was on him.

He turned his head slowly, dramatically, his gaze on Casey. He tutted like a disappointed school teacher. “Just when we were getting along so well.” Viper faced them and raised both his arms into the air, his palms outwards. There was a loud clattering sound, as the kitchen drawers shook until they opened. Every metallic utensil flew free, whirring, spinning, and flicking up into the air, then jetting towards all five members of the Psychic Circle. Spoons, forks, knives, whisks, even some pans flew through the air at speeds that even Hanson couldn’t handle.

Two things happened at once.

Alexia panicked and screamed, both out loud and psychicly, sending a Blast to everyone in the room, indiscriminately. Jake, Casey, Hanson and Naomi flinched involuntarily, rolling their heads and shutting their eyes tightly - and so did Viper. The utensils-turned-weapons now moved under their own momentum, and actually moved faster through the air.

Secondly, Naomi was unaffected by Alexia’s Blast. She yelled something that wasn’t words, and ran towards them, leaving Viper’s side.

Alexia was the only one other than Nikki whose eyes were open and saw what happened in the next instant, but if she had blinked she might have missed it. It was as if there was an invisible field three inches from each of their bodies, and whenever a flying projectile hit the field, it proceeded to melt. A dinner knife heading straight for Alexia’s stomach was swallowed in mid air, and transformed immediately into a stream of molten metal which slid straight down to the tiled floor. It was the same with the other tools... it looked like an optical illusion, and the eye perceived a wall of glass, whose shape could be made out by the dozen or so drip patterns. It appeared comically like raw eggs against a window pane. Eggs with metallic yolks.

No one looked more bewildered than Nikki. Even so, Viper was a close second, once he had recovered from Alexia’s mind blast. “What. The. Hell.” He stated, trying to understand the pools of disintegrated metal which had been solid only a moment earlier.

Jake was the first to move, and launched himself over the kitchen counter straight at Viper. With a grunt he threw a punch at Viper, who swerved to avoid it, and got hit on his left shoulder instead of in his face. Viper used the punch’s momentum that rotated him to strike with his right fist, and got Jake clean in his left eye.

Casey raised her hands, and made fruits, mugs, bowls, the empty box from Gourmet Burger, fly in Viper’s direction, some objects missing, others hitting him but only serving to unbalance him rather than cause any damage.

Viper looked upwards. “Sty!” he shouted. A bat which Alexia hadn’t noticed before swooped down from some hidden place and flew out a window. Then the door burst open and a large German Sheppard ran in, barking loudly and alarming all of them except Viper.

Another man entered the house, walking slowly and purposefully. He was the same one who had tried to stop them from leaving the Angel Club. He simply stood beside Viper, but the dog barked viciously, and they retreated. Then it stood between Nikki and the Psychic Circle, growling and driving her back towards the two men at the door.

When Nikki was level with Viper she turned to him. “Please! Leave them! I will go with you willingly...” then she looked at Alexia. “Let me go.” and gazed around at each of them in turn, urging with her eyes for them not to attack. Alexia said nothing but made no motion to resist her request.

Viper ran his hand down the black stripe in his hair, and swiftly signalled to Sty to leave. Sty nodded, and the dog began to turn to the door as well, but Viper said “No, leave this fellow here to keep them company until we’re gone.”

Alexia then looked closer at the dog and realised its eyes were an unnatural filmy grey. Animal mind control... Viper’s arm went around Nikki’s shoulder and they were out. Sty backed away and closed the door, leaving the German Sheppard facing them from the door.

Naomi exhaled as if she had been holding her breath the whole time.

Jake was leaning on the counter his palm on his swelling eye. “Who the heck was that skunk? Stupidest hair I’ve ever seen.” He turned to the dog. “I thought I recognised this guy. He’s my neighbour’s dog, crazy as a cat, but never this-”

“Jake!” Alexia cut him off. He looked at her with his good eye and she put a finger on her lips. The dog was watching them, and it was poised for attack. After a few minutes, its eyes cleared to a deep brown, it blinked, and sat on its hind legs. One of its legs was positioned at a ridiculous ninety degree angle from the rest of its body, and it started panting and wagging its tail.

Alexia moved around the kitchen counter to Jake. “I think that man, Sty can control the dog. And I think the bat might have been under his control as well.” As she spoke she went to hold his left wrist to pull his hand from his eye. He winced and Alexia grimaced. “Yikes. Don’t you have a job in sales? How are you going to manage with that bruiser?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, walking away from her to head to the kitchen for some ice.

“Well that was fun,” Casey said with her usual sarcasm but none of her usual sting to her words. “Possibly one of the most bizarre evenings I’ve ever had. Anyone want to volunteer and explanation?” She looked down at the kitchen floor where there were still odd puddles of metal. Odd because it looked like they were not hot at all. Hanson squatted down for a closer look.

“Nikki did this?” he said, looking up at Casey. She shuddered. When Jake had an ice pack on his eye, Alexia, Naomi, Casey and Hanson cleaned up the metallic goop as best as they could, using tissues and clothes, then chucking the lot into the bin. Jake opened the door for the dog, which was still watching them, but with its head cocked to the side, making its tongue wiggle crazily as it panted. It was a much different dog than the one that had bullied them earlier. It took its time getting up and walking out, and Jake scratched it on the head, looking thoughtfully after it as it crawled through the hole it had made in the fence between his and the McKinzy’s yard.

The group were gathered in the now untidy living room when Jake joined them. Naomi and Hansom sat on a couch, while Casey perched on the arm (Jake hated that), and Alexia stood, occasionally pacing. They were having a disagreement about how they should have handled the fight.

Jake cut in. “”Look, if the girl wanted to go, we should have just let her leave in the beginning. She is obviously more trouble than she is helpful.” He ignored the look that Alexia shot him.

“Why did you attack Viper then if you didn’t care about Nikki?” asked Alexia.

“Because he was ready to kill us all, and I saw an opportunity! Do you know, a knife in front of my face isn’t even half the fun I imagined it would be!”

“Why didn’t you just use your powers on him? Control his mind? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you-”

“Oh, now you want me to use my powers, huh?” Jake said incredulously.

“Oh. Em. Gee. Shut up.” Casey offered to them, unhelpfully.

Naomi spoke unexpectedly. “I read Viper’s mind.”

The room fell silent as they all looked to her. Her eyes were down, and when she looked up, it was with solemn purpose.

“I know what they plan to do with Nikki.”

***

“Do you think you can melt, say,” Viper thought for a moment, “the door of a particularly large safe?” He was driving his red car to the Angel Club. Nikki was in the passenger seat with her hands resting on her lap. Sty was silent in the back seat.

“I honestly do not know.” Nikki said, looking straight at him. He noticed her gaze, which hadn’t left him since they had gotten out of the scuffle. It didn’t unsettle him, although he had the feeling it should. It reminded him of something else that had been on his mind.

“That night at the warehouse... you remember?” Viper said, glancing in her direction. Her gaze drifted to the side as she recalled it. She nodded. “What brought you there?” he asked, straightforward.

Nikki sighed, titling her head one way and then another. She seemed lethargic to him, her movements slow and deliberate, and he wondered if she was unwell in some way. When she replied, she spoke plainly, without hesitation. “I followed you. Earlier that week, your gang had hit a store across from where I was...” she shut her eyes and twisted her thumb between her fingers. “... where I was staying.”

Viper nodded. She didn’t have to say it, but it was most certainly a corner between two sheets of cardboard. He waited for her to continue, which she did. “You were working together and getting things done. You were strong.”

Viper frowned, “You stood right under that 2 ton safe. Do you have a death wish or something?”

Nikki smiled, looking a little smug he thought. “I wanted to see if you had the power to stop it.”

“What made you think I would even try?” Viper asked. It sounded cold, even to him, and he checked her reaction. The uncertain teenage girl emerged from her calm demeanour.

“I... I didn’t know.” She said.

He exhaled incredulously. “That was either the gutsiest thing, or the dumbest ever. What’s next, a truck?”

“Maybe.” She said, crossing her arms stubbornly. Viper laughed at the sulky pout on her face.

“Ok, you metal melting suicidal genius,” he saw a reluctant smile break through as he said this, “why me? You sought me out personally, why?”

She uncrossed her arms and beamed at him. “I like angels!”

He arched his eyebrow and even Sty offered a grunting scoff from the back seat. “Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but the Angel Club is more of an ironic name. We’re not in the habit of charity work.”

Her smile didn’t falter. “Then why did you come for me?”

Viper twisted his hands on the wheel “Senra’s orders. Apparently she has big plans for you. When Senra has big plans, you don’t have too many options.”

“You said it was my choice to come with you.”

Viper shrugged. “Life is a lot easier without kidnapping charges.” He flashed a toothy grin. Nikki rolled her eyes, with the normal teenage attitude again.

“So I didn’t really have a choice, huh?” She had sarcasm in her entire body language. Viper laughed loudly.

“No love, I’m afraid you didn’t. The illusion of choice should be granted to everyone though.”

Nikki was amused, and turned away from him, gazing at the road ahead. “Well,” she said, “You didn’t have a choice either.”

He looked at her enquiringly. She didn’t meet his eye this time. He twisted his mouth and turned back to the road. She wanted him to fish for answers, and he decided not to take the bait. He felt her glance his way when he remained silent, and saw the disappointment that her tactic had been foiled.

“What else do you not know you can do?” Viper asked suddenly, looking at Nikki.

She wrinkled her nose. “That question makes no sense.”

“Alright smarty pants,” he said loudly, facing back to the road with exaggerated annoyance. “What did you feel when you melted those knives and forks? They were quality ones too, I’ll bet the owner is pissed. You didn’t know you could do that, unless I’m mistaken, right?”

Nikki fell quiet, losing herself in thought. Her breathing deepened and she subconsciously drooped her shoulders. In this bad posture, she gazed into empty space. When she spoke, her voice trembled. “I don’t think it was me.”

“What are you talking about, no one else was capable of that. There were at most three Outers in that pop band.” He took a moment to snigger meanly. “The Psychic Circle, they call themselves. Adorable really. No. None of them could have done that. And I know that I didn’t do it.”

Nikki shook her head slowly, as if trying to understand it in order to explain it. “It came from me, it did... but,” she suddenly turned her focus on Viper again. “No. It came through me. From... somewhere else.” He could only describe the look that she gave him now as creepy. What the hell did that mean?

They were approaching the Angel Club now, and Senra would be anxious to see Nikki and prepare her for whatever nefarious plans she had for her. However, Viper already began hatching a plan to steal Nikki away for a job...

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IamTraunt
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Heeeeeey, lovely! I've missed reviewing this so much, sorry for me lateness. (Hopefully I can cook up an awesome review to make up for it...)

I cannot believe how much tension is in this. Wow. It was incredible. Actually, I felt like I was watching a movie - I could honestly picture everything that was going on. You have a vivid way of telling us everything, your style is so mature and I love it. Even down to Nikki whispering Viper's name. It sent shivers down my spine. You most certainly set the scene and laid it out before. When they say someone steps into or "lives" a passage in a book, I felt more like I was stepping into their world. The picture into my mind was like a 3D movie. It is probably because I love your story - the plot, the characters, their conduct - that it is by far one of the best stories I have read on here. And this chapter was just the cherry on top.

I should really get onto the nitpicks ;)

Alexia glanced at his manipulation of the knives suspended in her friends’ faces, as her mind raced and she started piecing together what he was implying.

When I read this my heart started beating. I was like, "SUSPENDED IN THEIR FACES?!" but then I realized what you meant. This sort-of lead me off track. Because I thought wrong, it diverted the attention away from the actual happenings. Clarity is everything, so I think you need to adjust that to "near" their faces, so readers like me won't think knifes are casually sticking out of people's faces and that they are hovering around, like Viper's personal body guards. (You know, this scene distantly reminds me of one I wrote quite a while ago... except the knife is actually-- um... I'll shut up. That is a spoiler. *zips up mouth*)

The guy who called himself Viper (Probably not his real name, Alexia thought) looked down and to the left, biting on his bottom lip, with a look of restraint on his face.

(Okay, imagine I'm not a writer. I'm a reader who doesn't really think, but just wants everything laid out for them). Now, this wasn't very clear to me. Was Viper offended because Nikki was unwillingly to go near to him? Many readers are not very strong ones, but pick up the book because it is becoming a movie (*hint hint*). But because their minds don't work the way strong readers do, they get confused easily. I noticed that in The Fault in Our Stars just TOLD TOLD TOLD. It annoyed me. Yet everyone around me loved the book. I'm not saying tell everything and not show, but remember just to add in titbits of the obvious.

He rotated his wrist dramatically, and Alexia couldn’t help but break her attention away, turning her head towards where the other three were.

You know how I am with my superheroes. I know a lot about 'em. So with this description, my mind began to replay the scene out carefully and questions such as this cropped up: "Which way did he twist his wrist? Was his fist closed? Or did he have his hand open and his fingers arched?" The fine details are needed with this one me thinks.

“Don’t worry, love, they can leave with their skin on,” said Viper, “I’d just like to ask Nikki to come with us, as we’ll be needing her particular talents.”

I feel as if these two sentences don't run on. When a comma is used in this instance it is when the speech or the sentence that is being spoken is running on. I felt as if it should be two different sentences. Like so: "“Don’t worry, love, they can leave with their skin on,” said Viper. “I’d just like to ask Nikki to come with us, as we’ll be needing her particular talents.” Ce?

Alexia squeezed Nikki’s shoulder tighter as a sign that she wasn’t going to let her be taken, but Nikki placed her hand on Alexia’s and gently removed it from her shoulder.

A little bit of redundancy, my dear friend. The last part isn't needed. This is because you tell us in the first part that Alexia has her hand on her shoulder, so when Nikki removes her hand, it is obviously being removed from her shoulder.

However, Hanson saw what she was attempting to do, and focussed his mind on the knife in front of Casey, ignoring the smaller knife in his face.

Awww. I found this really sweet. Great character development! This instantly implied, a) Hanson is being selfless and b) he obviously cares about Casey. I would totally ship these two. (If you don't know what that means, simply put "relationship". Put these two together).

Alexia held her breath, glanced in Viper’s direction, and saw that his back was turned and his attention was on Nikki. Hanson wrenched control of Casey’s knife, and in an instant had it spinning tip over handle in Viper’s direction. At the speed it was going, it was sure to hit its target, but it stopped an inch before it struck, frozen in mid air at Viper’s left shoulder. Viper himself had stopped walking, and for a moment, every eye in the room was on him.
He turned his head slowly, dramatically, his gaze on Casey.

OH. MY. STARS. This paragraph. G'agghhhh! So flipping tense. You really wrote this part well. Man, oh, man. My heart pounded, my palms were clammy, I was hanging off the edge of my seat - the tension was built up ever so well. Bravo! Round of applause. It was brilliant.

Secondly, Naomi was unaffected by Alexia’s Blast. She yelled something that wasn’t words, and ran towards them, leaving Viper’s side.

I think you mean Nikki ;)

Alexia was the only one other than Nikki whose eyes were open and saw what happened in the next instant, but if she had blinked she might have missed it. It was as if there was an invisible field three inches from each of their bodies, and whenever a flying projectile hit the field, it proceeded to melt. A dinner knife heading straight for Alexia’s stomach was swallowed in mid air, and transformed immediately into a stream of molten metal which slid straight down to the tiled floor. It was the same with the other tools... it looked like an optical illusion, and the eye perceived a wall of glass, whose shape could be made out by the dozen or so drip patterns. It appeared comically like raw eggs against a window pane. Eggs with metallic yolks.

THis description blew my mind away. Amazing. I haven't read anything like it. NEVER, EVER change that! Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

I loved the ending! I loved the conversation between Viper and Nikki! I love... everything. Yet another great chapter. I certainly want more!

Yours sincerely,
Traunt

Thank you for your review! When I saw the huge paragraphs you had quoted, I was starting to get worried that I had blundered on such a large section lol! Instead I find your awesome response :-D Yippy! Thank you so much! You've given me great ideas of which bits are keepers.

As for your nitpicks,goodness, I'm horrified reading the bit about the hovering knives again! I needed to say hovering in front of their faces, I think that would have added the clarity.

Hanson and Casey's ship is sailing soon enough (am I using it right :-P). Their relationship is forming as I write so I'll see how it goes.

Thanks once again, you're a star! As usual I will post and tag you for the next chapter!

xoxo

x) No, no, I just wanted to commend you (hopefully not making your head swell in the process). Hee hee. That's what I am here for!

Lol. I agree that needs to be adjusted. I literally thought they were stuck into their faces and that you had killed them off O.O but just forget about it. We're not perfect :)

YAY! (And hahaha, I think so. I'm quite new to the whole "shipping" thing. So, when Hanson and Casey are actually a couple or showing a bond, they say "cannon". Strange, I know.)

^^ hee hee. A star! <3 thanks. Cannot wait for next chapter!

About the head swelling... worst case scenario, I will buy bigger hats ;-) Hehe, cheers

xD xD xD Welcome.

Hi! Cricket here for a review!

This is just bad. Every time I look at one of your chapters, I always stare at it and think: how on earth am I going to be able to review this?. You really have a grip on this story, I'll give you that.

Well, there is two particular things that I really enjoyed about this chapter. The suspense and Alexia's attitude. Both were just amazing. Alexia acted just about perfect for the situation, in my opinion. Very brazen, brave, but still smart. Well, she could have been smarter, I think. I mean, being so bold towards Viper isn't exactly the wisest thing to do, but it also showed that she had guts. Jake wasn't in this one too much, as in he was just a standby character for this chapter, but he participated some I suppose. With the fighting and what have you.

What I'm also impressed with, are your descriptions of the metal when it began's to melt. Very well done and it gave me a very clear visual. I'm now rather wondering who this shield come from. Duh, it came from Nikki... but she also said that she it coming through her from like somewhere else. It almost made me think that something was controlling her, but I wasn't even sure there. I know it made to sound like that, but it would have been an accident with Nikki's powers going wacko once again, eh?

I'm not entirely sure about Nikki right now though. I mean, she must have a serious plan in mind if she just put herself into Viper's hands willingly, and I'm not sure the Phsychic Circle is going to quite agree with these plans. No matter what they are. I have a feeling that maybe she wants to do an inside job on the Angel Club... maybe. Like I think I've made clear before, there's a lot of foreshadowing going on right now, so a lot of guessing can be done and will most likely be wrong. I'm so totally going to get everything wrong

The man walked closer, and his face was lit by the kitchen light,


How about lit up instead of lit by? I'd also suggest getting rid of that and.

“Viper...” Nikki whispered, and Alexia was confused at the out of context word.


I'd bet she's confused right now. xD This part I have a problem with as you're connecting something that Alexia is thinking to what Nikki is saying. It sounds rather strange and technically isn't correct. I'd suggest making the part, when Alexia is confused, an entirely new sentence.

“Nice that you haven’t forgotten me so soon,” He said, keeping his arm up.


So I did talk about this in previous reviews, but it seems that you've forgotten. ;) When going into a dialogue tag, you use a comma and not a period. So where I put that comma in red, is where it's supposed to go from now on. This might be helpful]

He was offended in some way.


Geez, I can't imagine why he would be. xD

“No!” she cried


Hmm, I don't think somebody like her would say it quite like that. Maybe word it different. She can always just cry stop or something like instead. It seems rather forced right now. :D

It was Jake who caught her eye the longest, shaking her head a micro millimetre, mouthing the words, Don’t be stupid.


OK, worded the way that you have it right here, we would automatically assume that Jake is her and that he's the one shaking his head and all that, but we know from the previous sentences that it's Alexia. I think you should just really split it up into two sentences, with keeping separate the description of both actions.

Why wasn’t Hanson able to move the suspended knives with his mind?


This is something that I'm not sure I've ever talked to you about, but I thought I'd bring it up in case I hadn't. Generally in order to separate the thought process, you put it into italics. Brings it out, so that the reader pays attention to the MC's thoughts, and also helps differentiate between everything else.

“Just when we were getting along so well.”


Ugh, I'm so sorry to be constantly razzing you about your italics! I hope it doesn't sound like I'm shoving my particular style on you or anything like that. xD

Here I really didn't like how you emphasize well. It seemed rather off balance, and to be honest, I was imagining in my mind the word so being put in italics, instead of well. Matter of preference, perhaps, but it sounded right in my mind. :D

“I think that man, Sty, can control the dog.


Comma after the man's name.

“”Look, if the girl wanted to go,


*grins* I do this soo often too. I think you can see what it is. Double quotation marks here.

Overall, this went as I had envisioned it, except for the part when Nikki agreed to go with them and actually went with them. When she was leaving I seriously thought that she was going to attack them or something, but it turns out I was wrong. xD I just cannot understand Nikki's reasoning with her actions, but perhaps she thinks Viper will give her what she wants, seeing as Alexia and the rest won't. I'm sorta guessing that's what's going to happen, but I'll have to wait till the next chapter. You've got this story completely under control, in my opinion. Keep this up! You're doing awesome.

Keep writing!

~Cricket

Hi Cricket!

Thank you for your awesome awesomeness that is another one of your reviews :-) I checked out the link, thank you so much, that clears it up. I think it has become an ingrained bad habit, I will try to be more conscious of my dialogue punctuation. Thanks for the nitpicks too, don't know how I missed some of them lol.

Yay! You liked it! I was worried about how clear my description of the melting metal was, I'm glad that it turned out ok. Hehe, you're right about the foreshadowing, more will definitely be revealed about Nikki and what makes her different than the others. Also, Nikki's own plans will be revealed too. Working at a steady rate on the next chapter, I'll post it as soon as I'm done ;-)



"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda