*This story is underneath my folder titled “Circe the ringmaster!”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
Gemma and Jayci bit down their screams as they watched Circe suck away the bones of the circus performers, their son, Sawyer, included.
“He was going to marry Clover. They were going to have a wedding. It was their wedding party, Jayci. They were in love.” Gemma moaned, remembering the time they met in high school.
All was good with them, all was sunshine and rainbows, until the moment they were too old to live.
When they could do nothing but watch up in the heavenly sky.
“He’s going to join us, and then we’ll be able to see him again.” Jayci said in a voice that wavered slightly from burrowed tears.
“He still died young. He shouldn’t have to come here now.” Gemma lamented.
“I know, Gemma. I know.” Jayci said, bringing her close and stroking her hair.
It stabbed at their hearts that Sawyer had to die so young, and so horribly, too. He was a boy who had no friends and believed wholeheartedly in the magic of the world. They both wanted him to live a life that he believed to be sparkling with beauty, because that was what he deserved.
But he’d never get to be anything other than an unknown tragedy. His death wouldn’t be known, and Circe would get to live on with her evil.
If they were both alive, they’d give her a piece of their minds, even if she’d kill them.
How did such malice continue to thrive while the purest of souls were left to rot and die?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello @creeperfeverdreams Detective Ira here, I have apparently stumbled upon your manuscript while searching for clues in the Devil’s Library, which is where I believe the ancient magical book of Toramu is hidden. Since I’m already here, I shall give my opinion on this piece of yours.
Though I have to say it is very strange that I should find your writing here……. hmmm…..
What I can see
Wow, I have to say this was a chilling (if very short XD) story here! Despite it's limited length I can really feel the depth of emotion involved in this, which is very hard to do, so well done there!
This is such a banger of an opening! Very spooky and draws in the reader immediately, and I have to say, the name Circe really stood out to me as well, reminds me of the Greek mythological figure of Circe, any relation to that by any chance? :eyes:
It seems like Sawyer has been killed just before his wedding day while his parents can only watch from what I assume is heaven and I think that is a great way to add more emotion to they story, I do winder though, if this is s fanfiction, or if there is something preceding this that might give us more context.
I also like how you've written the dialogue, and the ending was pretty neat too, ending with a rhetorical question is a great way to involve the reader and leave them thinking.
Under the magnifying glass
The only thing I wish for here is that the story be longer, I would love something more fleshed out and detailed to really bring it all to life, who is Circe? Why is she killing Sawyer? Why are Sawyer's parents in heaven? Where is clover? What does Circe want to achieve? The way your story stands it does leave a lot of questions unanswered.
Closing the case
Overall this was a very chilling and entertaining short story!
It was lovely going through this manuscript of yours. Everything expressed was my opinion, feel free to accept or reject whatever you want.
If you have any clues relating to the book of Toramu or anything you want to clarify feel free to contact my
alias, ahem, my dear friend @canopy. She also wishes you a "Happy Review Day!" - I am working on the assumption that you know what that is.Until next time!!
—Hercule Poirot, “The Murdertime Murders,” by Agatha Christie
So glad you enjoyed this! No, this is not a fanfiction, but my original idea. I wanted to name her Circe because it kind of rhymes with %u201Ccircus%u201D but I also think it%u2019s connected to the mythology because she DOES turn them into the undead, sort of.
Anyway, here are other stories that connect to this:
The misadventures of Clover the clown!
Clover reunites with lost loved ones (and more)
Sawyer’s childhood, his parents in Heaven
Angelese Circe watches her own teeth whiten!
Sawyer is glad to be home
Dakota’s origin
The death of Dakota’s family
Emberlynn and Juniper’s journey to the circus!
Emberlynn and Juniper’s first night at Circe’s
Circe’s murders
Unfortunately, I know nothing of the book of Toramu, but if I find anything out, I will be sure to tell her!
Hey, Vampricone..happy review day and I am going to review this one. I am not experienced so in my opinion; (hope it's ok)
As I read the story, two thoughts kept echoing in my mind. The first is something I’ve often heard—that when someone close to us dies, they become a star in the sky, quietly watching over us. It’s a comforting yet haunting idea, and it made me think: whatever we do, maybe we should think twice—because they might still be seeing us.
The second thought is darker—that evil seems to survive, thrive even, while the innocent lives are the ones taken too soon. It feels like evil grows deep, stubborn roots, while the pure are pulled away without warning.
Now, coming to the story—it was both flawless and deeply touching. It portrayed unconditional love from parents in a way that’s rare to find these days. Even after Sawyer’s death, he remained their little boy in their eyes—and that grief, that love, was beautifully captured.
I wasn’t entirely sure how Sawyer died, but I have a feeling Circe may have had a hand in it. The story doesn’t reveal everything outright, and that mystery works in its favor, leaving you wanting to know more.
In the end, the story left a lasting impression. It was emotional, full of heart, and quietly powerful—a reminder that love doesn’t end, even when life does.
I am very glad you enjoyed!
Some stories that connect to this:
The misadventures of Clover the clown!
Clover reunites with lost loved ones (and more)
Dakota’s origin
Sawyer’s childhood, his parents in Heaven
The death of Dakota’s family
Angelese Circe watches her own teeth whiten!