*This story is underneath my folder titled “Circe the ringmaster!”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Oh and also, the sisters in this story are conjoined at the hip, literally. Anyway…enjoy!*
“You saw her, right? You saw Circe?” Juniper asked.
Yes, Emberlynn did see Circe. The girls were resting on a bench when it happened.
Circe the circus woman was standing right in front of them, except she didn’t really look like she was there. Her body was see-through, like a ghost.
Circe had grinned at them, her smile too close to her eyes, like a cartoon character, and said:
“Come on, girls! Give me your bones! Keep me alive, keep my teeth nice and white!”
There was this magenta-colored smoke, and then Emberlynn and Juniper felt themselves fading…fading…and then Circe was gone. The girls were safe. Their bones hadn’t been taken.
“I did. I saw her.” Emberlynn said.
“You weren’t just pretending to see her?” Juniper asked.
Emberlynn could feel Juniper shiver a bit in the bed they shared, but she simply squeezed Juniper’s hand comfortingly and said:
“Yes, I saw her. But she’s not going to hurt us. We won’t let her. We’re going to run away when we have the chance.”
Circe was a monster, there was no other explanation. The calliope music was what she used to call them over. It was her lure, just like in the fairytales they used to read.
But Emberlynn wouldn’t tell Juniper that. She was scared enough already.
“Can we run away now?” Juniper asked quietly, as though she were afraid Circe would hear.
Emberlynn got up, the main one in control of their attached bodies that time around, and tried opening the door.
Nothing.
She tried her hand at opening the window.
Still nothing.
She looked around the trailer, searching for something to break the door or the window.
Only their bed, their closet, and nothing else. Circe kept all the toys after the show, toys that Emberlynn could have thrown to create an exit at the door or window.
“Not today. But we can try to run away tomorrow.” Emberlynn said.
“What if we never get out of here?” Juniper weeped.
“We will. I promise.” Emberlynn replied, leading Juniper back to their bed.
Emberlynn would never let Circe eat her sister if it was the last thing she did.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,086 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
Hello @creeperfeverdreams! I love reading your stuff!
The connection between Emberlynn and Juniper was my favorite part. Even in the face of such chaos, it is natural for Emberlynn to instinctively want to soothe and protect her sibling.
Simple words, but powerful ones since it is clear that Emberlynn herself is not entirely sure.
Lastly, Circe was also truly terrifying. The dialogue of hers is unsettling and reminds me of nursery rhymes, making her a memorable character rather than an ordinary one.
The advice I would give is to add another sense during Circe's appearance, like some atmospheric change, an increase in the music, or a strange scent in the air. I would also advise you to be careful about italicizing too much or else it’ll lose its emphasis.
To summarize, this is a good scene that made me care about the two girls and wonder how they were going to get away from their situation.
Thx for reading/advice!
Next up! The conjoined twins. Thanks for clarifying some info abt them in your comment 😊
Ah so they heard the music and ended up meeting Circe… I do wonder how they are so sure their bones are safe (what a sentence lol)
Alright, I like that they are trying to escape. I do also wonder why Circe needs their consent for the munching part. That is all very mysterious. I feel like we could get like 3 more such short scenes to really tie this into a plot. As it stands, it’s interesting but… well coincidentally, only bones, no meat =D