*This origin story is underneath my folder titled “The Laurence family’s woes”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33[2]”. Enjoy!*
In a rather ordinary, neatly packed neighborhood, there lived a sixteen year old girl named Kelly Wilson who thought of herself as different from the rest, solely because she loved things that were more gothic and grotesque and didn’t feel connected to most people. Thinking herself as different and therefore better than the rest was much better than the nights that she longed to have more people to talk to other than her younger twin sister, Eleanor, anyway.
Most of Kelly’s days were spent doodling in her school notebook or listening to music, losing herself in her own world of all things macabre and magical. Sure, she felt a little sad when she watched people walk past her with their friends, but she tried not to think of it too much, as she didn’t want to dwell on any negative feelings.
That was, until one day, after a class Kelly had, Eleanor ran up to her and took her hand, telling her that she wanted Kelly to meet her “friend and dream boyfriend”, someone who was very, very special to Eleanor and so, when they both got to the boy with black hair and gray eyes at the locker, Eleanor let go of Kelly and said:
“Tyler, meet my sister, Kelly. Kelly, meet Tyler. He’s the guy I made friends with a few days ago! He’s so smart and cool that you just HAD to meet him and he’ll listen to you! Not to mention, he’s pretty good-looking too!”
Eleanor continued talking about Tyler, but Kelly was studying the shine of his gray eyes, the curve of his grinning lips. He had black hair curling around his pale face and an air of something more, something slightly dreary but with a cheerful note to it, like he took pleasure in all things morbid and yet didn’t stop caring about others.
At least, that was what Kelly thought about Tyler when she first saw him. She certainly didn’t want to stop talking to him, to lose the spark of connection she felt when she looked at him.
So Kelly and Tyler talked to each other a little bit more before they had to leave for class and then, they saw each other after school, for Tyler was Eleanor’s only friend, he was always around her.
As Kelly would run into him more often in the free school hours and even at her own house, she felt a bit of that loneliness melt away. Every conversation with Tyler felt like ghostly spiderwebs catching rainbow hints of the sunlight in its strings, like there was something happier to her gloom. It was more than the fact that Tyler loved to draw with her and watch spooky yet slightly romantic movies with her, although that played a part. It was that it seemed like he understood her without either of them having to say a word to one another, that he listened to her without interrupting her or twisting her words to mean something that they weren’t. It was such an indescribable, blissful feeling of true connection that she didn’t want to let go of, that only grew as they continued to see each other and then…
When they grew up, they got married at a church, Kelly feeling more desired than she ever imagined, like she won at life in her ghost white bridal attire, in the pale, ethereal cathedral entwined with white and red roses that looked like gifts from the angels. Kelly caught a glimpse of Eleanor crying profusely in the crowd, more than anybody else that watched them, but she would console Eleanor later. It’d be hard for her family to watch her go, but it was for the best.
In the sun streaked evening, Kelly and Tyler ran off to their decorated Just Married car with tinkling silver cans tied to the back like iridescent wind chimes, Tyler driving, Kelly next to him, staring at the gray eyes that gave her so much life when she first met him, that made a smile twist on her lips, that-
“Your happiness would be perfect to use as energy, but…you’ll have to give me a son. A son who can rule with me. You’ll understand later.” Tyler said, his eyes glowing red, his claw that had only been a hand moments before tightly gripping Kelly’s face, so tight that she felt streaks of blood drip from her skin.
When he let go, Kelly didn’t say a word. Her mind was spiraling at the sight of his deep red eyes, his cold black claw. He wasn’t a human, he wanted to use her.
How could it be happening? Did he really love her at all? Could she even escape from him? He never did say anything about his personal life, maybe…maybe it was because he was a monster. Because she would have to find out later.
Tears burned in her eyes, but not from how he so harshly gripped her face.
She weeped for her broken heart.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,739 Reviews
*The folder is actually called “The Laurence family’s deepest woes”.
Hello again creeperfeverdreams!!!!!
Hop here with a review for Team Roses Of Red!!! Let's just jump right in because I have only an hour left and I'll feel crappy about myself if I don't go until the very end!!!
"In a rather ordinary, neatly packed neighborhood, there lived a sixteen year old girl named Kelly Wilson who thought of herself as different from the rest, solely because she loved things that were more gothic and grotesque and didn’t feel connected to most people. Thinking herself as different and therefore better than the rest was much better than the nights that she longed to have more people to talk to other than her younger twin sister, Eleanor, anyway.
Most of Kelly’s days were spent doodling in her school notebook or listening to music, losing herself in her own world of all things macabre and magical. Sure, she felt a little sad when she watched people walk past her with their friends, but she tried not to think of it too much, as she didn’t want to dwell on any negative feelings."
Okay, we start out with a description of Kelly's life! It seems like she is not one to blend in with the crowd! I love this character already! She seems pretty chill with doodling and music! It does seem she's a little lonely which is a little sad. Hopefully she makes a friend. I do like how she doesn't focus on the negative though! We love a good optimist!!
“Tyler, meet my sister, Kelly. Kelly, meet Tyler. He’s the guy I made friends with a few days ago! He’s so smart and cool that you just HAD to meet him and he’ll listen to you! Not to mention, he’s pretty good-looking too!”
We love a love interest entering the story! So many good possibilities here! I'm very interested because just the way you put everything I do feel a little mystery!!!
"As Kelly would run into him more often in the free school hours and even at her own house, she felt a bit of that loneliness melt away. Every conversation with Tyler felt like ghostly spiderwebs catching rainbow hints of the sunlight in its strings, like there was something happier to her gloom. It was more than the fact that Tyler loved to draw with her and watch spooky yet slightly romantic movies with her, although that played a part. It was that it seemed like he understood her without either of them having to say a word to one another, that he listened to her without interrupting her or twisting her words to mean something that they weren’t. It was such an indescribable, blissful feeling of true connection that she didn’t want to let go of, that only grew as they continued to see each other and then…"
Oooooh it seems Eleanor's crush turned into Kelly's!! Tyler does seem like quite the catch!!! It seems she's finally not lonely anymore. I'm so glad she might've found someone! It's so cute! I was expecting a friendship to bloom but I think a love interest is even better!!
"When they grew up, they got married at a church, Kelly feeling more desired than she ever imagined, like she won at life in her ghost white bridal attire, in the pale, ethereal cathedral entwined with white and red roses that looked like gifts from the angels. Kelly caught a glimpse of Eleanor crying profusely in the crowd, more than anybody else that watched them, but she would console Eleanor later. It’d be hard for her family to watch her go, but it was for the best."
Oh poor Eleanor. I feel so bad for her. She still loves Tyler. Honestly, I feel like I want to side with her here because it feels selfish what Kelly did. She knew Eleanor liked him and yet SNATCHED HIM. I don't like Kelly anymore grrr
"“Your happiness would be perfect to use as energy, but…you’ll have to give me a son. A son who can rule with me. You’ll understand later.” Tyler said, his eyes glowing red, his claw that had only been a hand moments before tightly gripping Kelly’s face, so tight that she felt streaks of blood drip from her skin."
Oh no... Maybe he wasn't who we thought he was... What a plot twist... But honestly, I feel as if Kelly deserved it because she just threw her sister's feelings aside and married the boy she loved.
"How could it be happening? Did he really love her at all? Could she even escape from him? He never did say anything about his personal life, maybe…maybe it was because he was a monster. Because she would have to find out later."
Just jaw dropping oh my gosh.
"Tears burned in her eyes, but not from how he so harshly gripped her face.
She weeped for her broken heart."
AHHH YOU DID IT AGAIN. THAT LAST LINE HIT LIKE A BULLET TRAIN!! AMAZING JOB!!
I loved this but I think it might be better if it was maybe a little longer? More in detail???
Overall this was truly amazing!! Can't wait to read more!
Have a good day/night!!!!!
Love,
Hop
Thx for reading!
Ah alright, I think I will finish this folder now.
Alright, this is the girl that Tyler eventually chooses over Eleanor, right.
Sometimes you have these… redundant bits in your sentences to make them unnecessarily longer and more cumbersome, like this one: “ after a class Kelly had, “ why not just say “after class” or “after school”? Saying “Kelly had” is handholding. It’s something that’s implied without you needing to directly state it.
Oh that is sooo awkward to hear Eleanor talk abt Tyler like that while he’s standing right there. I understand so much why he’s not choosing her… Like, she’s so in your face @.@
I like how you show exactly why Kelly would fall for Tyler, how she’s been just so lonely and he’s the first breath of fresh air in so long.
Love this image: “like ghostly spiderwebs catching rainbow hints of the sunlight in its strings,” mainly bc yes, he’s catching the sunlight for her … but at the same time, he’s also trapping it, huh?
I wonder if she just doesn’t understand why Eleanor cries at her wedding or if she genuinely thinks that talking to her afterwards abt how she stole her dream boyfriend would fix anything. Like, girl, the first thing El told you abt Tyler is how she wants him as her bf and then u go and take him from her, by accident, and in all these yrs you never talked abt that???
I also found Kelly’s reaction to the reveal rather weak. Where is the despair? The betrayal? The shock? The narrative makes her seem so calm and already asking poignant questions abt how she could get out of this…
No, Kelly does not understand.
Thx for reading!