Published July 5, 2026
*This story is underneath my folder titled “The Laurence family’s deepest woes”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=117842&start=75. Enjoy!*
Paige carried the book over to her bed and opened it, the only light being her lamp. She snuck into her parents’ room to get the book and she was intending to use any bit of interesting information that she found.
It was a book about demons and how to summon them. She and her parents were witches, so they all had magical powers. They didn’t want her to attempt any magic with demons, but it wasn’t like anything too terrible was going to happen. Paige was sixteen years old and knew enough about how to handle her powers.
She needed to find a particularly horrible demon to summon, so that she could kill it with her magic. But where to start? There were many pages to turn…
“Soul Syphoner-These demons steal the souls of any living creature that lurks near them. They thrive in environments full of sorrow and hatred, lurking in the darkest corners. No one can see them until they are near. By then, it’s already too late.”
Perfect! Paige would summon the Soul Syphoner and then kill it herself! What would she need to summon it? Hmm…hmm…
The book did not say how to summon it, which was a little disappointing, but that was alright! She would come up with her own way to summon it!
If the Soul Syphoner fed off of negative feelings, then all she needed to do was channel her frustration towards her parents into something greater and focus on making that the way for the Soul Syphoner to come.
Paige folded that particular page in the book and sat down on her floor, puffing both hands on the ground and thinking of how they never let her read the more serious books, always scared that she’d make a mistake…what mistake? She had years of experience. Did they not trust her enough? Why not? She could do so much more if they weren’t holding her back. They’d make her wait forever if they could. Maybe that was what they were doing. Maybe they’d never let her read those books. They might not even let her leave the house if they thought that poorly of her. But really, what had Paige done to break that trust? Nothing. She made a few mistakes but they were normal ones. It was just ridiculous that they were SO cautious of her still.
A grotesque gray colored blob began to ooze out of the cracks on the hardwood floor, the bubbles seeming to multiply as the blob began to grow and form into a more solid shape. Paige moved her legs closer to her chest to avoid the rapidly spreading blob. She didn’t want to catch whatever the demon was carrying with it.
Finally, it was no longer a blob, but a woman. A woman with claws, horns, and gray skin, a demon woman.
Paige sat up from the ground and looked the Soul Syphoner right in her white snake eyes as she used her lingering anger at her parents and let it shoot out of her fingertips in shades of lilac and bubblegum, thinking that it would kill the Soul Syphoner just as it had brought her. There was no greater emotion than those brewed in fury, after all.
The Soul Syphoner was rushing right towards her, towards the light, towards her doom. Soon the Soul Syphoner would die and-
Paige felt dirt underneath her hands. Which didn’t make sense, because her room didn’t have any dirt…where was she? When she lifted her head, she found that she was in the woods, surrounded by trees that seemed to shake in fear with the wind.
It looked like the woods she and her parents went to for practicing magic, but it felt like it was farther than where they actually went. What happened? Could she find her way back? It had been so long since she went to the woods, would she…would she remember?
Paige got up from the ground and brushed the dirt off her clothes. Her killing spell didn’t work. Not only that, but the demon sent her far out into the woods. She was certain that was what happened, there was no other way to explain it.
Tears stung her eyes at the thought that she failed and let a monster out into the world, but they didn’t spill out.
She just wanted to go home.
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okay number one rule here: show don’t tell! There’s a lot of ways you could show us they have magical powers by what is in the room, what the characters are doing or saying, even by their thoughts in their heads! Sometimes this sort of exposition kills the reading a bit for me because I like to try and solve the mystery myself!
this is a nice way to get the information across, but maybe you could interject between to have her reactions to the information so it’s not another big block of exposition?
I like the bit where Paige is channeling frustration for her parents but I’m not really feeling any emotions! To make it more effective you need to evoke the same emotions in your reader as they read it, and they should know how Paige is feeling about these things!
The blob description was great, but I wish you described the transition from the blob to the woman in a bit more detail.
Uh oh dear Paige, who would have though summoning a demon could go wrong XD
Another charming piece
Good afternoon, creeper!
Lol!Is Paige capable of going through walls? That’s what I think off when I read “she sunk into her parent’s room”; that she was in the room above and kinda phased downward and now I am getting unreasonably excited xd
…uh I don’t think I can follow Paige’s reasoning. Wouldn’t summoning a test demon be smarter?
Hmm I also wish there was more… feeling described as she’s venting her internal frustrations. If she is using her magic then, in a vague way, to make the feelings “count” or something :3
Also maybe you could have found a few synonyms for “blop” to avoid the repetition =D
Oh such a neat description:
Hm I feel like you could have worked in the emotions of Paige better. The decision to summon a dangerous demon wasn’t really sufficiently explained here. I mean yes, she’s a teen and they can make stupid decisions---but then I kinda expected a bit more from her when she wakes up in the woods? More big emotions to justify the emotional decision she made to summon a really strong demon?
Otherwise love the magic in this one :3
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