From here to there
I glance.
What has become of this land?
Its plains were once plentiful,
Its trees were once abundant,
The skies were once blue.
What has become of this land?
It is dark and dull,
The leaves on the trees
Are hanging limply,
Its feilds are wasting away.
What has become of this land?
The land we well know,
As the only land of peace
Is betrayed by its own nature.
What has become of this land?
This land so precious to our people,
Represents our peace,
Our love,
Our willingness to fight for each other,
And it stands,
In ruins...
What has become of this land?
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140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Great poem! This planet really needs some looking after. We have spoiled what was once an Eden. We need to stop and think, what the hell are we doing before we do it! Or end up with a planet like the Moon. In fact, I sometimes wish the Vogons would put it out of it's misery (Douglas Adams ref!) Anyway, your poem is very thought provocing and I hope to read more of your work in future,
Skutter11, worst reveiwee ever. XD
I thought it was a fine poem. You get your message across clearly and eloquently, but you don't overdue it. But I have one complaint. The Font. If you want to make your poem sound bold and strong you need to do it with words alone. Not only does it make it a bit annoying to read, but (and this is just a friendly piece of advice)if you try to pull that type of thing with a serious publisher they will look at it once and throw it away. Overall it was quite good. Good luck on your future work.
Hey! I really did like this poem...a lot actually! I just have one tiny little nitpick that I'd like to point out.
I just found that this line didn't make a lot of sense at first glance. I would just rephrase it slightly. Something like, "The land we've known well" or something...
Anyways.
Great poem! Especially for just writing it right here and now!
I didn't even plan to write this...i just started typing...lol
I'm glad its understandable....
Yeah, we need to fix earth if we want to survive.
I love how you you repeat "What has become of this land" and end with it. It just makes stresses the point, and lets you know what the poems about.
Its very straight forward.
Also, it's easy to understand, but not too easy. The words are descriptive, and paint a picture that I can see, and you didn't go on and on describing it.
Very nice.
~UrWoRstNiGhtMarE