speaking of ink,
i want to flow
with the words exiting my soul.
my hands are numb,
and my legs are cold.
my mind is lazy, but it's flourishing.
i am exhausted, but i am here.
i am surviving.
i am living.
i am not yet thriving,
but there will be a time when i am.
for now, i'll drape myself over my writing,
and in the future,
i will fade into the ink that
sings me its lullaby,
lulling my eyes closed,
painting beautiful pictures
that i can feel flood through my bones.
i am my words.
the ink becomes me.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Your poem is expertly understands and displays the tension that exists for yourself, and other writers, between exhaustion and creative perseverance. Ink is not just a medium you use to write words, but a metaphor for your identity as a writer and beyond.
I love the hopefulness here; acknowledging that it's okay to not thrive 100% of the time, that you have so much potential and the rest of your life to access it. it just made me smile, so I often feel down thinking about how I'm not doing the best I can with my writing or academics <3
This is so poignant, and something I can relate too and perhaps many other too. We are the words we write, that's why writing is so personal, and many see it as a metaphysical activity where you are quite literally expending your energy into bringing the words on the page alive.
For me, 'exiting' is a bit too harsh of a word to say as it kind of ruined the flow right after you said flow. Maybe a softer word like 'leaving' or 'pouring from' just as an example.
<3
Avi! This is such a wonderful poem <33 The biggest thing that I love about this poem is how your statements feel so straightforward, direct, and powerful, but they are also deep and easy to relate to, even if they are quite specific.
I thought it was really cool how you combined physical and mental elements here, because it helps me really feel the poem throughout my body, but also get a sense for some of the thoughts going on inside. you set up this feeling very quickly at the start of the poem which was excellent.
repetition can be useful in poetry and you did an awesome job! as i said earlier, the statements are so simple, like 'i am living' but they are so powerful. as you say in that first line, you are exhausted, so perhaps that is why they are simple. But just because they are short does not mean that they are any less worthy and beautiful. That is such a great symbol in itself. The ability to recognize that someday, you will be thriving, is a great piece of hope to hang on to (and is so true).
I get this sense of wanting to be free like the ink that creates such beautiful poems. When we write- it can be freeing, liberating, and a relief. It can feel like floating, like whisps of hope flying through the sky! And at the same time, it is comforting, almost like a lullaby:
I can see this representing so much: a desire to be free, to be loved, to be comforted, to be stronger, or even things like finding new life or death.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem. You have a really beautiful and profound writing voice and I always love reading what you have to say. Keep writing! I hope to read and review more soon.
Your friend,
Ellie