Hey friend!! Ahhh, I really really enjoyed this poem. I thought I would stop by and leave you a quick review. Let's jump right into it, shall we?
To begin, I really like the formatting. In my mind, it just flowed from top to bottom. It almost looks like a waterfall when you look at it. A waterfall of words. I liked the relaxed style that you wrote with, but it felt so heartfelt and meaningful too.
the battle waged between
my mind that refuses to accept the possibility that it might be loved
and my heart so full of a steadily decreasing hope,
weighed down and down and down
by the startlingly logical thoughts my mind slides through the cracks in my confidence.
I love this part! I love how you describe this internal struggle as a battle. But you apply it to such an emotional and relatable topic. He talk about how you have the mind that refuses to accept that someone might love you. That is a really relatable feeling for a lot of people. I like the language that you used to. It seems like so many of your words just look aesthetically, pretty together, like possibility, and decreasing and startlingly. Awesome job choosing some nice words. you definitely have a very nice vocabulary that allows you to really express yourself a lot through poems.
i don't know if you know
or if you care
or if you're just doing it for the thrill of the feeling.
but i know i'm pathetic enough
to want you to keep doing it.
This was a really sweet ending. One poetic element you use throughout this poem that I really enjoyed was your repetition. I like how you repeated the word "or" multiple times. It really gives that feeling of yearning and almost desperation for this person to understand how you feel. From these words, it sounds like they mean so much to you. It seems casual, but not overly relaxed to the point that it seems like it doesn't matter to you. I can tell that it means so much! Great job crafting a nice tone, using great vocabulary and creating this masterpiece!
Overall, I loved reading through this, and I can't wait to read through more of your poetry! Overall, I can tell how emotionally important this poem was to you. Fantastic job, and keep writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
<3
Points: 66068
Reviews: 662
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