You look
Past my sins
My guilt
My shame
And poured your love
You look beyond me o
And am the one
That you 've shown mercy
You have shown mercy
You hav ahown mercy.
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Canary word: Present
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,769 Reviews
I like how it ends with the repeating phrase. I like how simple this is. This reminds me of the mercy that my loved ones have shown me, so thank you.
Yh willy
'Ello there!
First thing I must point out is that lines seem to end abruptly, without any closure to what you meant with the original line. The line that made me want to bring this up is "And poured your love" because where did you pour the love? Or does that mean something else? There needs to be a connection with your lines because that is not the only place with problems.
Here, we have "You look beyond me o / And am the one," which is very confusing because I'm not sure what any of it means. It's probably because the language seems broken with typos and letters spilled into places they don't belong. I'd suggest making a format with ideas, and then following along while redoing the poem shown here.
I do agree with the other reviewer as well, the all-caps title will draw your potential readers away when you want them to be drawn in. It's a stylistic choice, of course, but is it the best one to use? That depends on the person and their opinions when it comes to the topic of poetry and capitalization regarding titles.
Nice poem; it has a good meaning to it, and many people would find that they have similar thoughts. There are some rough areas, but all people go through that on their journey to finding what's right for them poetry-wise and life-wise. This has major potential if it's just checked and looked over a bit more.
Good job ~
L & T
Thank you
Hello. Foreveryoung299 here for a review.
First of all, you should not use all caps. Pls de-capitalize the title.
Now, coming to the poem. It was actually a good poem. It talked about god, who is the protector of the world.
God really doesn't look our sins. Regardless of sins, God loves us equally.
It was an excellent poem. You have a great potential as a writer.
Bye!!!!!
Thanks for the review