Who am i
That you 're so mindful of me
That you hear me
When i call
Is it true that
You 've been thinking of me
And that you love me
Its amazing.
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139,871 Literary Works • 672,780 Reviews
Hello! Momo here with a review!!
I really liked this so much!! It was so well written, and I think a lot of people can relate to it. Good job!!
That should be I here.
There should be no space in you're.
Same thing here. There should be no space in you've.
Via is right in that there should be an apostrophe in Its.
Great job!! Keep writing!
Momo
Thanks momo
Beautiful.
Hello! My name is Via and I'm here for a review. By the way, this is a very short and simple piece, so my review is going to be very short.
First and foremost, I love small and simple poems. Ones like this one that just go straight to the point and don't mess around. I love how blunt it is, yet whimsical in feeling. That's very sweet. I like how it flows too. This poem moves very well, and sure there are some parts of it that stumble off beat, but I think that's true of any poem.
My only critiques are the following:
1. Auto capitalization is the bane of all poetry. You know it, I know it, and I think every poet on this site knows it. So maybe just fix that so that the lines that make up one sentence aren't automatically capitalized.
2. There are some grammatical errors. For example in the last line, it should be it's not its. Since the contraction is meant to shorten the phrase "it is".
3. Maybe look into a few commas here and there. I think some more balanced punctuation would do this poem some good in adding more flow to it.
Overall, nice work. I like that it's simple and sweet and straightforward. Maybe a simile, metaphor, or image could add layers to the overall feeling of love and devotion, but if you do choose to go that route with editing... make sure not to over do it.
Keep up the good writing!
Oh and happy late welcome to Young Writer's Society!
Thanks
Hi, BrokenHeartsAri here for a short review
I just wanted to say I hope you are having an amazing day/night/afternoon
So...I would first start and say this was a great poem. I really enjoyed reading this poem.
my favorite line was most likely
"That you're so mindful of me"
I really did like that part.
I really enjoyed this short poem.....
Keep up the good work-BrokenHeartsAri