A/N: The title Propped up is used here in the meaning that I have been supernaturally Supported in life, and that anyone who is uninvolved from metaphysical encounters at this time is susceptible to being “propped up” by propaganda from leaders who are darkly supernaturally supported (and would like to make that path look as A Golden Light to you). Social Justice is Amazing; it protects people from incurring a difficult life, but it brings only temporary hope at the end of the day…
Hocus Laser Focus
Pack dirt in your guns
Up and out of the Way
That Phone's goin' on Silent
Cause my head's brush in the fire
Earth is only a movie, how hitherto
A stress Ball to be pressed am I?
If I tell you hello, hear-abouts
I'm switfchin worlds at
5,000 miles per hour, snappin pedals
And coverin'gas leaks with
fuZZy
stuFFed
buNNies
Ain't no party, Ain't no Combine if
Were all standin' arouuunnnnnd
Like moose; I want a Labyrinth
That yarn, In tangles, in tatters; don’t flatter me with the venomous wine of your tongue
On something two-bit; how much I’ve grown; or so and thus whom you envy;
We need to hear each other’s backstories and let go of that gangrenous covetousness
I know it’s so hard; but it’s SO much more relieving to get the whole sCoop
So we can see how much the same we all are Incarcerated.
And we can have what each other needs.
If you’ll Look into me:
I'm flaying my veins, hopefuellly Openly
Unhappy your dreams are flying away
When Someone put together this parachute for me
And you're eyein' that customized pogo stick
C'mon, no reason to be a fire-fighter
Who here's not firefought idiotic?
like anything you just have to handle the
Match Properly
Life a trick
Dungeons make us sweat
No Birds, Sun, or Butterflies bop around;
there's no window to keep the tarrying sweet
but u know it takes from a person a really sentient
Brain Bridge, every part of each Belief plank (no other's cute flush cheeks will be able)
To resonate these walls
the way Jericho got benT
Who cares if you're ready, or knock
Here I Come.
Half think you're a fool, btw rather crude
Those who will lock their doors tight
Day after day will be none-the-wiser
(guys, it's coming, the music's been
The harbinge-ing tide
Yes it's always been a Theatre, but it’s
Never been a show to those who have died)
If we can't Unfold,
OurJoints ain't gone-to-shot
enough to enChance Air Castle over there,
Marvelous, Her stones neat formin' the splits But scout close they're not clouds,
but Side effects:
By-products Are busting her Brickz*
Werelookingooofy, poosibly, circling
Toget-there, paleo-logical aliases on a union-eyzed-psychle
but ever so clever it's Secured, that all Inc.query
is Butt-a-clown, patroling its fruitcake with its power-squirt flower
Lookin' Loopy, no derp, butt
What one heart will use their Praise for Another? I think that can only be infused to us from God
2 Tall Decades "Propped uP" by
Mopey floating defense mechanisms, Drudgies join'd hand in hands to carrion, sevring their friend’Z for the laNd Mass;
This came to me enough Ruffian mediocreedy
and recasting our Once-Upon-an-hour corpse pooled STAges juvenile
To unCOver my half-chants at
Falling in love was to integ-rate my inwords
Nwek World Orderly,
clammed up
contaiN-geNieusly...
…and there eJect from Spirit,
flesh
and grasp
links to ululate back The Recesses
of the ReZzo-dentZ
despondent Cries
(everyone, it has practically arrived,
the music's been
sQ)))uealing like a Juke Box Hero
to make you a Machine indeterminable
down inside.
Yes it's always been a Theatre, but few
Discerned the dead-air feel actually gave audience:
To a crotchety bunch of reprobate geezers living in their own narcississy world And
calling out behind them, “peace on earth good will to men] :They could all convene
& enact laws that would be harsh for slight offense but wars continue bc
the leaders are not humanitarian
First you should not seek shelter
First you needs spy the STORM came not from man,
From this to learn that the only stuff which
comes out mens' lips is a surplus profusion of
“Live, live, take pleasure, or you will Die!” but the Demo'-destractic
Is use Inconceivability of Status Quo instinct
that is, letting All sides indwell & scatter the land
Since All the devils would kiss you All with fairness to Advocate the Means to-Gather
Your very own approval to conquer
& survive yourself
but do you not forE-sEE that everyone’s%gasps of oxygen are numbered?
In your house DEsPAIr
...
for Answer so truly
that if you can't draw conclusions handly You'd,
choose Rather to be dead.
) (
Attention-all for the Artifishy Unite;
The Beings dig themselves up a place underrcoven;
The public as one, only impartial Spiritual Divide;
As of Yet we have neither been Dead nor alive
We hang in the middle between a predator’s jaws
And an unseen Hero’s arms that are Geared UP to keep us from all harM.
What is the real prize; when the real promoters of evolution can’t tell you where their path????
When we all face that Looming Gate of Death we may Draw answers by fearing, not recreation
Fear is a good thing to get your survival mindset on, & if you’re afraid of being lost put it on and grind.
What you needs to do is not take too much Rest
while the Sunny day permits a peaceable bubble to keep you from making a rash Decision
While it sticks to the monotonized Unexcitement
) )
Now The New Age movement is so broad and wide open that it can't even be categorized. But it is essentially just the ancient Babylonian mystery religion re-hashed as evolution to Higher Consciousness & wrapped up in the all-inclusive proposition ‘Transcendence’ so it is an utmost diff-ucult thing to be recogniZed. They want you to see a slew of multifarious practices as self-helpful techniques transforming you to meditate towards & obtain Grand Knowledge, so to get you to think some Great Shift is occurring in the World for the next step of human evolution to take place and all those on This new kind of Leadership will be your benign benefactors: but it’s only them sending you on a wild goose chase.
How can you believe they’re all coming together to save you from turmoil After the Fact, when the sad Fact is that your global leaders Caused the collapse & have had their fake “Epic Healer Christ” plotline ready w/ fingers crossXd just to coerce you To Cliiing to the basic needs of your flesh. But the 2nd advent of Christ won’t be seen save in the clouds by those waiting for God the Spirit to take them out of the Capsizing System.
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Hey there Wriskypump,
Ok, so here I was wondering what you meant with the word "switfchin." I've seen this word and I was wondering if you meant "switching" but tried to change it up to make it different.Myjaspercat here with a review for you
So, before I actually get into the full on review, I wanted to touch up on the subject of formatting and the structure of your poem. First of all, I noticed that you had an extra space in-between lines of the same stanza and while I'm not sure if that was intentional, I'm going to guess that it wasn't. That said, if you want to cut off those extra spaces, all you have to do is press 'shift enter' instead of just 'enter' when you want to start a new line. Second, by golly, this is probably one of the longest poems I have ever read, and while sometimes lengthy poems can be very good, and necessary, here it feels like the length just drags down your piece. Almost as if you are filling in unnecessary spaces. Finally, even though I do appreciate the creativity with your writing [as in the way you capitalized some letters, hyphened certain words, and changed up the spelling] it really dragged down this piece for me, at least. As I was reading through your work I found it rather difficult to focus on the content of your writing because I was so distracted by the text. All that mentioned, why don't we get into the review part of this... well review.
1.) GRAMMER AND SPELLING:
With this sentence, I feel like you meant "fire-fight" but if not then I would recommend either turning "firefought" into two words or adding in a hyphen.
Don't abbreviate words in to the texting format.
Change "harbinge-ing" to "harbinger-in"
did you mean enhance?
Ok, so I see where you were going with this, and I do think it's creative. My one suggestion would to hyphen all three words, so it looks like "to-get-there"
Did you mean "New World Orderly"
Again, don't abbreviate words.
Destruction? I don't necessarily understand this sentence.
undercover?
Add a hyphen
2.) IDEAS:
Ok, so now that all the nit-picking is done and over with, why don't we get into the ideas of your poem. First off, as I read this piece initially, I was so confused and I have gone back and reread multiple times. Which isn't a good thing. While you want your piece to be unique and something that reflect you,[either it be about who you are or something you experienced] you still want your readers to be able to understand, even slightly what you are trying to talk about. While this may make a whole bunch of sense to you, your readers [or at least me] are left confused and they may not understand the point you are trying to make. This piece does have potential, I read a lot of interesting imagery and some really cool analogies and metaphors, ect... but it seemed so jumbled and mixed up.
When ever you write: prose or poetry, you want your piece to have a beginning, middle and end. With this I didn't really see any. But that doesn't mean it's bad or it's completely wrong, it just means that it still needs a little work, as do most things. Anyway, back to the ideas of your poem... I honestly feel like my favorite part of this piece is where your poem turns to paragraphs. I don't know what it is about that chunk of writing, but it truly dragged me in more then the more poem like structured pieces did. However I do have to applaud your references of music, and the choices that you used. I found that rather entertaining especially since I knew the songs you referenced [and the fact that they belong to one of my favorite genres of music].
3.) STYLISTIC CHOICES:
So, this is a very important part of a piece of writing, because it really tells us about the author. That said, your style is interesting, and I give you props for your use of words, spacing. However, there are parts of your style that, while may seem fine or normal to you really irritated me, for the lack of a better word. First of all, I understand that you wanted to change things up a bit, and that you probably wanted to be unlike other poetic authors, but you really should not abbreviate words as if you were sending a text to another person. There is a kind of way around that, but for the most part, it truly drags down a piece. Meaning, here I am [as an interested reader] reading a poem that uses strong, precise language and then all of a sudden I see 'btw' or 'bc' and all I can think about is why didn't the author take the time to spell out the words. It's not like the length of those few words would drastically change the piece. For me, it seems rather lazy and it makes the sentence fell a little incomplete.
Second, again I understand that this is your choice but I don't like, or think that it's necessary, to add all the extras, such as the percent signs or the and symbols [again, I would just spell out and if I was you] or even parenthesis. Yes it makes it different, and something uniquely you, but it also clunks up your writing and makes it hard to read.
Third, I already touched up on this at the beginning of the review, but I feel like it's worth mentioning a second time. The random capitalization of letters is distracting to your work as a whole. I did read your comment on the other review and how you put those capitalizations in places where you felt that emotion, however I feel like it could be better. Go for it, capitalize random letters or words in some places, but I would refrain from doing it repeatedly throughout the whole text. Once in a while it does make a statement to the reader, it does give the piece a nice punch, but when you do it repetitively it lessens that punch and it makes it something more common and not as emotional. Kind of like someone complains a lot; if you complain once in a while people tend to feel more empathy towards you, but if you complain all the time, it just becomes annoying. So if you capitalize once in awhile the impact will be greater. Trust me there is so many more ways to create the emotion that you feel while writing, in your writing without boring your reader.
All that being said, I think were getting to the end of the review. Don't get discouraged by anything I wrote, if you even read through this whole review because I do know that it turned out to be rather lengthy. I just felt that sometimes it's better to get a lot of feed back then just a few lines. Your piece IS interesting and I do think that in the future it has some great potential. You just need to work on expanding certain ideas, and cutting other ones. But, I'm not an expert so don't take everything I said as if it's the end all be all; and on the other hand, don't take what I said with a grain of salt. If you have any questions about anything I wrote in this review or if you want me to review anything else, feel free to ask. This is my first review in a long while so I hope I did help a little. Good luck and continue writing. ----Myjaspercat
Haha, I actually would read your whole review of course! Cause it's epic! Yes, I should've managed the hyphens a little better. It might've got their individual messages across properly. I did misspell patrolling accidently. The others were not. For example: Hopefuellly ... fuel; hopefully me opening up ignites other people to get emotionally vulnerable as well. Cause we're both thinking of crafting out-of-this-world things to do, but we're only able to talk about them, and envision them. But in this life, we have to let the prospects be good enough for the time being. But if one of us has God, That Friend allows us to have anything any other person could ever need: cause the person who has Jesus is already getting foretastes of heaven every day
It was... interesting.
I'm pretty sure you made those odd capitalization errors for horrific effect (not sure what to call it, this is my first review ever, bear with me here).
At the end there it became a jumble of text, which, in addition to the odd spelling errors, made it hard to read.
The poem, in my opinion, seemed to come out as cheesy, but this is from a person who doesn't read poetry that much - I just write it - so take it with a grain of salt.
I'm not sure how it came off cheesy... but Okay. It has some fun-&-games analogies sure, but it's probably only bc the ideas attached to the actual things like pogo-sticks and parachutes seem child-like. The caps are just the emotion I felt strike while I was writing it.